I need some advice (634 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.86 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by dale gribble (View user info) at 2005-01-23 23:33:46 EST
Today my college roomate got himself in a shitload of a mess when someone used his AOL IM name and talked shit on all of his friends. You see, his friends assumed that it was him saying all of the bad stuff about them because it was his screen name being used.
He was told that a couple of African American students were responsible for using his screen name to talk the shit on his friends. So, he got all enraged at them and called them the "n" word. He himself is white. They got really pissed off and had go back to their rooms to keep themselve
from killing him.
So his quest continued to find out who started this mess. He came into the dorm and started choking me and accusing me. I told him I didn't know anything about. Then the stupid bigot went off and tried to make the African Americans believe that he wasn't a racist. I guess he is one 'cause his apology sucked. Now they hate him and his friends hate him.
I have no sympathy for this bastard. I hope he gets the shit beaten out of him. All he has done this whole year is bitch and moan about his social life and get wasted. I study all of the time and he still thinks he is smarter than me. The truth is that he is just some stupid jock who doesn't care about anyone else but himself. The little pussy cries everytime his slutty girlfriends dump him and then he talks to me about it like I actually give a damn. The fucktard is also rude and pompous. He has yet to apologize to me for accusing me of making him look bad, for choking me, and he has yet to apologize to the world for living.
I'm not asking you people how I should help him, I asking you how I should go about killing him.
Please use your imagination. I have considered crucifying him and then fucking his lifeless corpse
but I'm sure that you people are much more imaginative than that. If he thinks that I'm am a nerdy little chicken shit and am going to let this go, he had better kill himself now and avoid the death that you guys decide. If not death, then at least torture...
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-24 09:31:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I suggest a course of cyanide.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-01-24 09:16:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for being a racist cock.
you are afraid to say black but you say white? im pissed cause by your own logic thats racist.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-01-24 09:12:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
How bout when your sucking his cock you bite it off, he might bleed to death.
Submitted by dinojr345 (user info) at 2005-01-24 08:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck you Hairsphincter! The Tsunami has nothing to do with any of this. What a dumbass.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-24 08:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MidgetTosser (user info) at 2005-01-24 04:47:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuckin moron.......
Submitted by ssj4yamcha (user info) at 2005-01-24 04:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
first off, you're an idiot.
Secondly, i'd like to think YOU were responsible for using his messenger name and shit-talking everyone.
Thirdly, let me guess... you're 5'3? 86lbs? you look, sound, and act like a weasel? and you've never kissed a girl.
Oh and you like to talk shit about your roommate on uber to make you feel better about yourself.
Well, it turns out you shouldn't feel good about yourself.
-2 die.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-01-24 00:45:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
burn your dorm down to the ground and rape everyone inside
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-01-24 00:31:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Gee whiz, I thought that tsunami was bad, what with 230,000 dead people and all.
But you have it tough.
Really, really tough.
No wonder you need advice.
Cunt.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-01-24 00:11:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, this is what you do.
Get drugs, coke or meth will work, and acid, liquid form (required).
After he goes to sleep, Take the coke/meth(in small baggies, easily distributable) and place them
in a fairly well hidden spot in his car. Under the seat will work fine.
Go back to your room and place a few drops of the liquid form acid on his toothbrush.
Now, In the morning (I'm assuming) he brushes his teeth. If he drives anywhere within an hour of doing so he will start tripping like you wouldn't believe. This will guarantee a bad trip(anyone who has tripped without knowing can attest to this.). Most likely he will get pulled over for driving like a moron. The cops will surely see that he is under the influence of something, giving them reasonable cause to search the car(you following so far?). This is where the coke/meth comes into play.
This will almost guarantee charges of D.U.I., public endangerment, use of illegal substance, and
possesion with intent to sell. If he manages to stay out of jail (which is unlikely, even if it is his first offense) he will get thrown out of school and will no longer be your problem.
Enjoy!
<disclaimer> If you actually do this, I don't know you and have never talked to you in my entire life </disclamer>
Submitted by dinojr345 (user info) at 2005-01-24 00:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Genko, that link was awsome. I have got to try that some time.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-23 23:46:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting. The question you need to ask yourself is "What would Wesley from 'The Princess Bride' do?"
The answer - simple - fight him 'to the pain'.
Wesley: "To the pain" means the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.
Humperdink: And then my tongue, I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Wesley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right.
Humperdink: And then my ears, I understand! Let's get on with it!
Wesley: WRONG! Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shreik of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out "dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish. Wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-01-23 23:44:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At first I was thinking that you could suck my cock. Then I read some more and I was all like "fuck this nigga". Then I read some more and I was more like "Damn this nigga is coming from the heart". Then I read some more and I was all like "Damn this nigga is my nigga."
Keep it real nigga, real white.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-23 23:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
find a gerbil quickly or else the the niggers will rupture his asshole.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-01-23 23:40:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.jerryhunt.org/JerryHunt/kill.asp
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2005-01-23 23:40:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kill all his friends and his family and then cut off his arms cause then his life would really blow ass.