U.N Releases New 'War Permission' Forms (1012 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.64 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Quartermain (View user info) at 2005-01-24 14:43:39 EST
United Nations Instigation of Hostilities Permission Slip
If you have plans to instigate hostilities, you MUST fill out this form in its entirety and return to Kofi Annan, United Nations, New York, NY 10017. You may also fill out this form online, but the UN will not responsible for any deaths or injuries that result if our server is down.
IDENTIFYING INFORMATION
___________________________________________
Name of Applicant
___________________________________________
Date
Are you currently under attack?
□ Yes
□ No
You may qualify for expedited service if you are currently under attack. Please be sure you are current on your annual dues.
Do you need help defending your country?
□ Yes
□ No
□ France
Is there massive genocide in your country of which the UN is unaware?
□ Yes
□ No
Have you ever voted for the state of Israel in the General Assembly?
□ Yes
□ No
□ Only on unimportant issues
If Yes, please attach a separate form with detailed explanation.
How often do you vote with the United States in the General Assembly?
□ less than 10% of the time
□ 10% or more
Your answer to this question may affect the availability of expedited service for your application.
Are you currently the subject of UN sanctions?
□ Yes
□ No
□ Unsure
Please secure the signatures of these five members of the Security Council before you take any military action (all signatures must be in black ink):
___________________________________________
George W. Bush, President, United States
___________________________________________
Tony Blair, Prime Minister, Great Britain
___________________________________________
Jacques Chirac, President, France
___________________________________________
Hu Jintao, President, China
___________________________________________
Vladimir Putin, President, Russia
*We have copies of these signatures so don't try any foolish stuff.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
Would you like the UN to conduct a military operation on your behalf? (seriously)
□ Yes
□ No
□ Only if the US is actually doing the fighting
Check here if your application has been pending over a year without a response.
□ Yes
□ No
You may qualify for expedited service if your application has been pending for over a year (non-US applicants only).
Check one for expedited service.
□ The US is the biggest threat to world peace.
□ The US is imperialist.
□ Israel is a fascist state.
Thank you for complying with international law. We will process your application in the order in which it was received.
User Reviews
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-10 21:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-24 22:56:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-01-24 22:45:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-01-24 17:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-01-24 17:15:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-01-24 16:57:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2005-01-24 15:42:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
**Did you write this? It's darn funny.**
Sadly, I cannot claim credit for this. I got it off of www.intellectualconservative.com
Again, I apologise for the fact that you see numbers instead of check boxes. I'm going down for the third time in a deep river of shame.
Really.
Submitted by QueenSkye (user info) at 2005-01-24 15:35:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
highly amusing
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-24 15:25:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes
No
France
Awesome.
Submitted by Fleury75 (user info) at 2005-01-24 15:16:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
□ I □ dont □ get □ it?
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-01-24 15:13:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you write this? It's darn funny.
You forgot for:
___________________________________________
George W. Bush, President, United States*
*This signature alone will be enough, without the other four, to secure expedited service.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2005-01-24 14:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
**funny, i guess. i just didn't get the "□" in front of every option. are my fonts messed up or something?**
Those are supposed to be check boxes. I don't know what the hell happened to them.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-24 14:56:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PAHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-01-24 14:53:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If this is sarcasm, does this mean you support your governments actions in the middle east?
Submitted by wtf_is_going_on (user info) at 2005-01-24 14:49:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS! THIS WAS FUCKING RETARDED!
DUMB, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-24 14:49:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
□ True
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-24 14:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny, i guess. i just didn't get the "□" in front of every option. are my fonts messed up or something?