Haliburton=Burn Tha Oil (805 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.5 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <lordjimi2.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2003-03-21 17:20:58 EST
People have offered many reasons as to why we are really going to war: oil, power, regime change, etc. Well here is the real reason we are, and it plays out like a classic James Bond film.
As many of you know, both Bush and Cheney have interests in oil, Cheney's corporation being Haliburton. Well rearrange the letters in Haliburton and what do you get? BURN THA OIL! It's their own little joke, as they decieve us and the answer is right in front of our eyes. I do have to give kudos to Dick for the ghetto touch... very badass.
Has anyone here seen the movie Goldfinger? I'll sum it up for the sake of all reading: there's a bad guy who wants to use a nuclear device on Fort Knox, the nation's storehouse for all of our gold. In doing this, he hopes to make his own supply of gold more valuable by eliminating the competition. How does this relate, you may ask? Think back to a few days ago; what happened when reports of oil fields burning came in? Stock prices skyrocketed. Because when Iraq's oil burns, it makes ours, or more spcifically, Bush's and Cheney's, all the more valuable. For every barrel in Iraq that burns it's another dollar in their fat little pockets.
Cheney and Bush are destroying Iraq and the environment for their own capitalist interests, and this isn't the only case. The drilling in Alaska which Cheney pushed so adamantly for would mean more oil for him. The higher the percentage of oil he controls, the more each barrel is worth to him. He is building an unconstitutional monopoly under our oblivious noses, and using murder to attain his dreams. Don't be suprised if we see a new amendment allowing American monopolies soon; of course it will be for our "security."
Well I for one won't stand for it, and I hope I can count on your support. Drive your car less often, get an electric stove, and use non-petroleum based lubricants. Let's bring back our freedom and our money, one step at a time.
User Reviews
Submitted by Kasarius (user info) at 2003-11-12 20:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It was just a stupid anagram with an even stupider story attached. I'm suprised no one even pointed out that I misspelled Halliburton. I have an obsession of sorts with those little wordgames: anagrams, palindromes, 20-consonant lines, etc.
Submitted by TheMan (user info) at 2003-03-23 23:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That was so ludicrous, it was unfunny.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-22 17:21:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ridiculous...
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2003-03-21 19:42:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i still love this, screw you negative can't take a joke bitches
Submitted by Nator <not.at.real.com> at 2003-03-21 18:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That's not funny.
Submitted by lodnem (user info) at 2003-03-21 18:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i thought goldfinger was funny.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2003-03-21 17:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The US gets very little of it's oil from the Gulf region. A whopping total of 3% I believe we get from Iraq. Most of our oil comes from domestic sources or south america (venezeula).
ANWR drilling was rejected by the senate and will not happen. We KNEW Sodamn Insane would fire the wells like he did 12 years ago when leaving Kuwait. So we had contingency plans in place to react to this action. This is not a battle for oil. Oil prices have actually dropped 2 bucks a barrel according to what I heard on CNN on my way into the office this morning.
The term I think people are looking for is Hydraulic Despotism. Absolute control over a resource so that if you were to cut off the supply it would hurt others, and so in order to avoid being catastopically hurt by the Despot the people comply with his wishes.
Sci-fi fans understand this completely if they have read Frank Herberts DUNE series.
-Turtle
Submitted by Kasarius (user info) at 2003-03-21 17:51:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus, it was a joke. I know I didn't post it under humor, but I figure most people aren't so blind to be able not to discern between sarcasm and true belief.
And Goldfinger is a great movie.
Submitted by lodnem (user info) at 2003-03-21 17:27:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this is not a movie.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-03-21 17:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ummm... this post represents a complete departure from reality. And I'm a liberal.
Submitted by Hardak (user info) at 2003-03-21 17:23:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Old news... but worth saying again.
Goldfinger is a great movie b.t.w.