I Dream of Uber (817 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.62 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Banga3386 <tanzia682.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-24 17:49:38 EST
On Thursday the 23rd, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I knew I had 5, maybe six, but they found 7. Turns out I had a tumor that continuously created tooth tissue. Fun for me. I did get to keep the 5 teeth that didn't fall apart, I'm thinking about making a neckace or maybe cufflinks out of them. That would totally rule. For the pain, which there was a lot of, they gave me 750 milligrams of Vicodin. Ahh my old friend (http://www.ubersite.com/m/43363) as i'm sure you remember me speaking about. If you don't, click it because my mom thinks it's a good read, and I could use the hits because hits=esteem. Anyway
Because of this I spent my entire Xmas holiday vacation stoned off of my ass, which was a good thing because it helped me get through time with the families, broken home sob sob, loser. On Sunday was the big final bash with the more exciting, read alcoholic, side of the family and so I got royally fucked up on whiskey and vicodin the wonder pill. Monday was fucking brutal. I got so drug sick plus hungover that i would have gladly let my faulty heart stop working and gave in but the little fucker just kept on working, bitch.
So I finally manage to pass out Monday night, when I did I had the most fucked up dream I've had in a long time. In my dream (i wish i could make this up) Davros and Tom were undercover cops (looking like Donnie Brosco) trying to bust an inner city crime organization. Only Davros had Coulaincourt's face. They were both driving Cadalliac Sevilles and crashed into some kind of vendor cart that was operated by either Fat Tony or Habeeb, I can't figure out which. Standing next to crashed cart was Volkless who jumped back in fear but her face didn't change from the picture of her I had in my mind. Then as I went to talk to her, being suprised to meet the woman, (but not suprised that I knew Tom and Davros) her face melted into a combination of Loren1 and Lojope.
It was at that part in the dream that i was whisked away to a sporting goods store that had porn on the televisions. I didn't know who was there but I did know that they were Noobs and that they were going to steal shit.
The only thing I can make of this fuckedness is that i need to:
1. Stop doing painkillers even when prescribed
2. Find something else to do other than Uber
3. Get a goddamned life
All I do is work 3 jobs, smoke cigarettes, drink whiskey, and read Uber. Not a bad way to spend eternity but I'm still living and I need to do a little of that before it's too late, or am I fucked already?
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-09 16:53:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-03-09 16:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This would get an auto +2 because I am in it.
But it was good too.
-Dave
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-01-25 10:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great picture, man.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-01-25 10:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for dream
+2 for painting.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-01-25 09:57:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool Picture. I had an interesting dream the last couple of nights. I'm in modern day dogfights over San Francisco's famous Harbor. Some evil bastard is gonna blow up San Francisco with cruise missiles and bombs, so I have to shoot him out of the sky. We're both flying rediculous jets and trying to kill each other, but neither of us can die. We keep shooting down each others plane, then the ejector seat parachutes down into the bay, but instead of staying there, another plane flies in from nowhere and whoever is floating in the bay spring Superman style out of the water and into the open cockpit of Mach 2 traveling jet. Then there's another hour of fighting until someone gets shot down again and battle continues. As dumb as it sounds, I actually had a lot of fun in this dream. Over the last couple of weeks my dreams have grown increasingly vivid. Anyway, thought I'd share.
I liked your piece.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-01-25 00:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A) You're pretty messed up all right...
B) That picture is the scariest thing I've ever seen. Yikes!
Submitted by Shizae (user info) at 2005-01-24 18:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-01-24 18:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't wait to get my teeth pulled. I love the gas.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-01-24 18:05:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dig that picture too...
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-01-24 18:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the painting.
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2005-01-24 17:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Monkey blow me long time
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-24 17:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I've analyzed your dream and we can come to one conclusion and one conclusion only.
You are SO gay, it hurts.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-01-24 17:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-01-24 17:53:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-01-24 17:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W