Why I Laughed So Hard At The Word “Nigga” (1332 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.84 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zod (View user info) at 2005-01-25 12:39:38 EST
I stepped into my 18th Century Literature class and noticed him instantly. He was sitting smack dab in the middle of the room, enshrouded in his big puffy coat and ear-covering headphones. The coat was bright orange, drawing my eyes like there was an inferno raging in the center of the room. But in the center of the blaze, rhythmically nodding his head to the beat of music, sat a black man. His head shaved and neck covered in glistening jewelry, he was ridiculously out of place. I immediately pushed him to the back of my mind and sat next to him. As class began, I tried to figure out how gangster kids like him managed to even get into college in the first place. Damn affirmative action...
Anyway, as class goes on, this kid surprises the hell out of me. He has shed his bright orange cocoon and taken off his headphones, taking on a much more studious look, despite his giant black boots, giant black pants, giant black shirt...he uh, wore a lot of black. But when he opened his mouth to answer questions, he did so with amazing intellect and vocabulary. I was actually impressed. No dull, listless answer. No uncaring attitude. No guttural Ebonics being spat at the rest of the class like we were all playing a game of basketball on some street corner. The kid actually seemed to have a brain and some class, despite his outward appearance.
I instantly began to reprimand myself. I know I'm not supposed to judge a book by its cover, and yet I did and look at me now; totally wrong. I felt like a douche, but whatever. I didn't do any harm in assuming, so it was ok. I just paid attention to the rest of the class and mentally apologized to my misjudged classmate.
It was only after class that I became even more confused. Class let out and, with giant traffic cone coat back on, the guy marched out of class at a regular pace. I walked behind him once outside, since we seemed to be going in the same direction. It's only then that I noticed how much he had changed. His step has taken on a much different look. He now walked by bending his right knee, but keeping his left knee straight. He hobbled slowly in front of me, bobbing up and down in some sort of retarded march. I couldn't help but laugh. Then came the icing on the cake. He pulled out his cell phone and stuck a wireless ear piece in his ear. But for some reason, he put the phone on ridiculously loud speaker phone anyway and began the most out of person conversation I had ever heard. Suddenly, this seemingly classy and eloquent black man was saying:
Guy: "Wattup, nig-GA!" (He said nig at a normal volume, and then said "GA" in a much higher tone of voice. I have no fucking idea why. Oh, and this convo was being yelled out in a park at my school, with lots of other students around.)
Girl on phone: "Hey baby, how're you?"
Guy: "Not bad, just got outta class, nig-GA!"
Girl: "Word, baby. Where the fuck you been? I been ringin you off da hook!"
Guy: "Bitch, you know how I do. I called yo ass at 7:34, nig-GA!"
Girl: "Motha fucka, you do not refer to me as bitch!"
Guy: "You know I feel you, nig-GA!"
At this point, I can't hear the conversation because I'm laughing so hard. This kid went from answering a question about the ancient ideology of psychoanalysis better than I could to calling his girl a nig-GA after every sentence.
As I sit there laughing at the faint cries of "nig-GA" trailing off into the night, all I can thing is, is it me? Why is there the need to act like a fucking retard when you're obviously ten times smarter than that? It hurts my head...
P.S. No, that is not a picture of me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-01-27 00:20:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
P.S. No, that is not a picture of me.
=====================================
You lie, bitch. I've seen you. You try to cover yourself with Aeropastale sweaters and layers of shirts, but nigga, who you tryin to fool?
Unrelated: I need my Zombie book back so I can start preparing for the apocalypse that's coming in 2012. I'll trade you for a magazine with naked ladies in it.
Submitted by Shizae (user info) at 2005-01-26 00:28:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was once confronted by a white/mexican guy asking for a dollar to ride the bus (buy drugs) and every sentence ended with "fo real." So tempted to punch him in the mouth, but he was about 6'5 and I'm only 5'11, and everyone knows white man can't jump. Or it's just me who can't jump, either way, I wouldn't be able to get a good shot at him.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-25 19:18:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting...
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-01-25 18:43:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was JUST ABOUT to write a post about the crazy-ass black guy in my history class that is convinced I owned his grandpa, but I guess you filled the quota today.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-25 18:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I seriously do not understand that. Well, I understand it on an intellectual level, but I don't understand it. I don't understand what I'm trying to say, either, so just take your stupid +2 and go away.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-25 17:59:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why yo make fun of me, nig-GA?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-25 17:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"I wish I had a dime....for every dime I have".
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2005-01-25 16:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I had a nickel for one of those guys I've seen, I'd have enough to buy a pair of earplugs so that I wouldn;t have to listen to them outside of classes.
Submitted by QueenSkye (user info) at 2005-01-25 15:16:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that guy is in one of my classes too...
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-25 14:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-01-25 13:58:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
educated people of the nation, UNITE! demand a stop to the hypocrisy!
nice post
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-01-25 13:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-01-25 13:22:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nig-GA!
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-01-25 13:11:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-01-25 13:07:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 nig-GA
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-01-25 13:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dear lord I love you Steve. Please have let me have your babies. I don't want to have to stalk you and wait for you to jack off, and then steal your jiz... but I will.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-25 13:06:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
priceless tshirt
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-25 12:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah, i had a kid just like that in my finite mathematics class ridiculously intelligent, articulated beautifully and when he left he was like..
Dawg, homes fO SHIZZLE.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-01-25 12:49:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Racist bastard.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-25 12:49:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is that kracka?