December is a discount store part 1 (544 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.75 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by hungovermondays (View user info) at 2005-01-25 14:52:43 EST
I went to Kmart for draino and boxer shorts. What I really needed though was the boxers. I had run out of underware, and their was no way I was doing my laundry. None. The draino was for the clogged bathroom sink, but really it only added legitimacy to my laziness. I wasn't just buying shorts because I was a lazy fuck, but to get some work done around the house.
It was the holiday season so I knew to be weary. I made sure to dress for the occasion, grey Italian turtle neck sweater, Armani coat, and wool scarf. To roughen up the look I wore worn blue jeans with a hole in the left calf area and scuffy boots. My hair was tied back, but I allowed strands to flow loosely around, hopefully giving the effect of careless handsomeness.
I had to park a long way off in the parking lot, and on my way into the store I passed an old man pushing a shopping cart full of stuff to his car. The old man looked pretty normal and was smiling to himself. He looked very pleased, maybe he had just finished all his Christmas shopping. As we passed he kept trying to catch my eye, smiling his smile, and finally I relented and looked at him. He just kept on smiling and I kept on walking. Fucking weirdo, I thought.
I walked through the double doors and into the store, and knew I had made a terrible mistake. A short fat women, honeyish complexion, blond hair and dark eyes offered me a flyer. She had on one of those hideous bright red vests that indicated that she was a associate of the company. What bullshit, she wasn't an associate to anybody, none of us peons were. We still took our orders from some overweight shitface who took his orders from someone else. That person answered to some corporate asshole who sat at corporate headquarters, wherever that was, thinking that he knew everything about the retail industry without ever setting foot in a store.
I didn't take a flyer. I tried not to look at the people, but their was just to many of them. They weren't even peasants, they were lower, like the untouchable class in Indian society. I didn't use the walkways, I cut though the racks of clothes, all on sale it seemed. People were just milling, leaning on their carriages full of garbage while inspecting the label on some new piece of crap. I passed a fat man with denim pants and a denim shirt. He had a hairy neck and smelled of booze, he was looking at socks.
too be continued
User Reviews
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-01-29 14:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
come on man....let's get it in gear!
you can do it!
so below your usual work...
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-25 17:07:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
at least you like buk, even if you (and I) have absolutely no chance of emulating him.
Submitted by pokeysrevenge (user info) at 2005-01-25 15:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh my god, the suspense!
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-01-25 15:02:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-1 lotsa typos
-1 mentioning the brands you wear
-2 DIE
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-25 14:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This post made me rub my own nipples!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-25 14:54:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Shit... I didn't know that DRAINO made boxer shorts ???
I want some.....
GO GO GADGET LINKWHORE.......http://www.ubersite.com/m/57699
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-25 14:54:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is fantastic, I can hardly wait for the next installment.