Clock-Like Life (565 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.31 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by March of flames <astheruinfalls> (View user info) at 2005-01-26 00:13:40 EST
As I stare at the clock in front of my eyes... I think to myself, what's the difference between me and that simple, inanimate object hanging on the wall? Is there really a difference? The hands of the clock wind around, over and over, never changing their pattern, never altering their destiny. I'm the same way; sometimes I just feel this is what fate threw my way and I can't change that. But, that can't be true. Can it?
Automatic could be the only word to describe me.
Everything in my life has no purpose; it's just like the life of a clock.
Wake up. Put on some clean clothes after a short time in the shower. Brush my teeth. Go to work. Climb into bed. Start all over. Oh yeah, I forgot eating, that's in there too.
Every day for as long as I can remember it has been the same.
Why is it like this? Why are the days such a complete and utter hell to me?
...
I have no answer.
After a long hard day at work all I want to do is climb in to bed and for just seven hours, live a different life.
In my dreams I can be whatever I want. In my dreams I can break free from the cycle that is slowly running me into the ground.
The comforting sheets welcome my sore and decrepit body. They set me at ease. I wish I could explain the feeling I get when I'm in the comfort of my own bed away from the chaotic day but I can't. It's just one of those things that can't be understood by the human mind. Or by my mind at least.
Now... slowly... I drift... Away... Into a deafening world... were reality can't gain access to my mind. A place where my clock-like life is put on hold. A lot of the time I just wish I would never wake up. I could just live here, in the place where rules don't matter. The normal laws of life don't apply, and I can choose my own destiny.
My eyes slowly close and I drift away into happiness.
I am in the dream world, and I am flying.
In between trees and over mountains. It's amazing; I've never felt like this before. I feel completely free. I wonder why in dreams you can do whatever you want and the normal rules don't apply. What in your mind can do that? I guess I'll never know about things like that but I don't have to, because now... I don't ever care.
Pure ecstasy...
I never want to wake up again.
...
...
Then a voice comes on.
"The morning temperature will be a brisk 35 degrees, but it should reach a high of 50 by noontime."
My hand reaches over in a groggy, sleep-induced haze and slams my alarm clock. Damn that Jason Green bastard, always bringing me the weather when I'm trying to dream. I hate that mother fucker.
That's just great.
Well, it looks like it's going to be a shitty day after all then.
Hey, at least I have my dreams.
User Reviews
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2005-01-26 13:25:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe you need more ghey sex?
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-01-26 08:50:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
sounds like depression. or maybe not, but most of the classic signs are there. it took me a long time (or at least a long time in comparison to how long i've lived) to realize that life will be a clock every single day UNLESS YOU CHANGE IT. it's the changing that's hardest-- even the most mind-numbing routine can become a comfortable safety net. at least when every day is the same, nothing terrible is happening. if you want to live, DO. stop dreaming about living, and just make it happen. grab on to what you want like a freaking pit bull and never let go until it's yours. napoleon, alexander the great, jesus, and george washington did not get up in the mornings and say, "think i'll do today exactly what i did yesterday." i am no hero yet, but i've learned the formula for enjoying my life and getting the most out of it that i can, and every day is getting better.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-01-26 06:40:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ohhhh yeeeaaahhh... I get to go home to bed in 20 minutes.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-01-26 06:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Work to live, don't live to work.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-01-26 04:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BTDT...do anything else
try anything else in the RW
Life is too short at any age.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-01-26 03:38:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by okokididitbutiwasdrunk (user info) at 2005-01-26 03:26:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoyed this post.
You could do what I did - quit your job, even if you have no plan. I've hardly worked in the past year. However, I did backpack Europe, read about 75 books, spent a lot of time at the beach (I moved to Florida), and partied constantly. I'm massively in debt and have to get a job again, but it was unbelievable to be out of the system for so long, to be free from being a slave. The personal growth was well worth the cost. For a long period, my life was like your post - work, eat, sleep, repeat. It is no way to live.
"If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic." (Fight Club reference)
Here's a link to an essay called "Security" by Hunter S. Thompson, it's short but very good. Maybe it will motivate you.
http://www.ram.org/contrib/security.html (BTW, this isn't my website)
The essay was in HST's book "The Proud Highway."
Good luck.
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-01-26 02:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You need to realize that you have more control of your life than you realize. Quit your job today. You don't need the money as badly as you think you do, just immediatly start looking for something you enjoy.
Just get out of where ever the hell you are.
Submitted by R-Syn (user info) at 2005-01-26 02:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To quote Bill Hicks:
"open your mind up to realise how you're being fucked every day of your life"
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-26 00:51:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my life, nutshelled
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-26 00:36:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anytime.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-26 00:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can identify. I also found a cure - quit your job and do something more interesting!
Submitted by AstheRuinfalls (user info) at 2005-01-26 00:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you Manda.
I love getting those kind of comments.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-26 00:21:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your writing.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-26 00:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
As president of the United States I now demand you to stop sleeping. You will work 24 hours a day and I'll be damned if you loiter around my property again.