Pushing The Edge (617 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.75 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Espo (View user info) at 2005-01-26 14:20:14 EST
Author's Note - This is a break from the ususal, I hope you enjoy it.
I don't have a lot of time. It's 1:52 am - my clothes have been thrown haphazardly into my two suitcases, wrinkled sleeves and striped boxers spilling out over the sides.
But wrinkles are the least of my problems now. In less than an hour they'll be here, and I need to write this down before they come for me.
Hell, I need to write this down and be thirty miles away before they even get here.
This dark motel room, overlooking the bay. The smoke from my cigarette curls above my head - from the doorway I must look like some kind of deranged, fallen angel hunched over his computer screen, fiendishly typing like some kind of madman with a head full of acid.
It all started out as harmless fun, really. I didn't mean for it to get this involved, to get this serious, but I made some mistakes.
Hell, I'll be the first one to admit that I didn't know what the repercussions were going to be, but I was so caught up in the moment...I was pushing the Edge, you know? Riding that emotional high like so many coke heads ride the White Dragon, not thinking about the past or the future...truly living in the moment.
What else are you supposed to do on a road trip?
You ride around, with some vague idea of a destination in your head, not really caring whether you go east or south, north or west, just as long as you eventually end up somewhere. Searching for that one place in time where people are truly happy, truly living in the now, where people are trying to see how far they can push themselves without going over the Edge.
That's why I rented the Mustang. It was the fastest, muscliest car in the lot. 1967, fastback, bright cherry red.
A beauty of engineering, sleek curves and a engine that would thrust you down the highway straight-a-ways with a power that made you think you creamed your pants. That was the stuff real love was made out of. Real lust.
Christ, it's after 2.
They'll be here soon, I'm sure of it. She's out there, on the side of the road somewhere.
I could only bring myself to stare at her for a few seconds before I had to turn away. Her sweet curves had been mangled by the bumper, her tender face ripped and scarred by the windshield. The blood oozed out of her eyes, her nose, her mouth.
Christ, I didn't mean to. She was lying there, crooked on the side of the road, bent like an L-beam made of oatmeal. She was looking up at me and crying blood. Crying for me, because she knew they would come for me.
I need to get out of here. I don't have enough time.
The Mustang is still sinking in the bay. I can still see the ripples in the still, blueblack water - the last remnants of the final bubbles that floated up to the surface.
I'll steal that rusty old Harley sitting outside, it looks like it still runs. A true renegade.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean any harm.
I was just pushing the Edge, and it pushed Back.
Espo
User Reviews
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-02-18 21:05:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Espo. I'm back. I just wrote my first story/message here on Ubersite. Please check this out if you get time: http://www.ubersite.com/m/59955
I'm pretty happy with it for a first effort but will gladly take constructive criticism from someone who has been at it for longer than me.
I have another story in mind and it is a bit similar to "Pushing the Edge". I really want to do this one right. May I run it by you before final posting? Here is my e-mail adress:
< latheman_67.at.yahoo.ca > Please e-mail me if you get time. There is no big hurry on this. The images which have inspired the story are burned in my mind. There is no possible way I will forget any of it. Hope you are well. Take care.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-01-26 23:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-01-26 22:34:41 (#)
Ranking: 1
Everyone is throwing out the +2's and not explaining why. Maybe I can help. It's a Tragedy. A man on the edge commits what sounds like an accidental murder. Not being sociopathic, he understands that he has commited a crime and that sooner or later (probably sooner) he will be punished. What makes it even worse is the "look" on the girls face -- an instant where both he and she know that this cannot get any worse. After the inevitable, we are invited inside the head of a man in the ultimate conflict: Good vs. Evil. How many of us would have had the balls to turn ourselves in? I think that I would turn myself in. I'm not sure. It's like the old T.V. series called "the Fugitive" -- only much worse; At least he was innocent. Either way, I do not envy this guy. He has chosen a hellish existence, again, because he has a conscience. He's in a bad place... really bad
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This is a great analysis and something that is sadly not very prevalent on Uber. +2 for you, peckerhead.
espo
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-01-26 23:38:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-01-26 21:03:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was one of the greatest things I've read on Uber. I don't know what your "usual" is, but I'm gonna go check it out now.
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thanks a lot TimeCop...its good to know that some people on Uber appreciate some decent stuff when i post it...i'm glad you enjoyed it. i may post a sequel to this, but I'm not entirely sure, because of the relatively poor showing this post got....we'll see.
espo
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-01-26 22:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Everyone is throwing out the +2's and not explaining why. Maybe I can help. It's a Tragedy. A man on the edge commits what sounds like an accidental murder. Not being sociopathic, he understands that he has commited a crime and that sooner or later (probably sooner) he will be punished. What makes it even worse is the "look" on the girls face -- an instant where both he and she know that this cannot get any worse. After the inevitable, we are invited inside the head of a man in the ultimate conflict: Good vs. Evil. How many of us would have had the balls to turn ourselves in? I think that I would turn myself in. I'm not sure. It's like the old T.V. series called "the Fugitive" -- only much worse; At least he was innocent. Either way, I do not envy this guy. He has chosen a hellish existence, again, because he has a conscience. He's in a bad place... really bad.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-01-26 21:03:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was one of the greatest things I've read on Uber. I don't know what your "usual" is, but I'm gonna go check it out now.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-01-26 19:42:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because this kicked ass
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-01-26 19:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-01-26 18:59:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this. I wonder why it hasn't been reviewed much?
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Because Uber is a cruel, cruel mistress (to steal one of Filthy's quotes) and half the time you put some honest effort into a non-comedic piece it doesn't get half the attention that a post of pooping in your hand would get. However, I'm glad you liked it.
Maybe I should have put "poop" in the title....
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-26 19:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Care to elaborate?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-01-26 18:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this. I wonder why it hasn't been reviewed much?
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-26 18:59:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, I didn't half mind this.
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-01-26 14:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-01-26 14:31:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-26 14:28:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Even though you are a dick, this was good.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-01-26 14:24:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.