Baboons roolz! (1074 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.67 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by rollerboognish (View user info) at 2005-01-26 16:54:18 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57731
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Nice baboon man! You must be a real rebel, or just another conformist moron. What the fuck is so rebellious and cool about baboons anyway? According to the Lycos 50 (a list of the most commonly used search terms) 'Baboons' was the 7th most sought out subject in 2004 right behind Janet Jackson, Vanilla Ice, Mother Teresa, Carbon Dioxide, Ferdinand Magellan, and Bacon Bits. Well it looks like baboons are keeping company with a bunch of fake-ass, no talent attention whores and condiments. How not ironic.
Have you ever wondered why the mass media is constantly throwing baboons in your face? I have a theory on that. You see, during my college years I worked on the night shift as a correctional officer and often I was privy to the convicts' travel cards. A travel card consists of a condensed description and sexual history of each inmate. Guess what's considered to be one of the most accurate determinants of identity. That's right, it's that permanent mark of rebellion, the baboon. Criminals are notoriously stupid. They are also notoriously babooned. Baboons and stupidity go hand in hand.
Now if the powers that be can convince every potential self-styled rebel to associate themselves with these unique symbols of identification, well then we have a bunch of morons who have stripped themselves of the virtue of antibaboonery. It's an effective way to disarm a possible insurgent of one of his most valued weapons. Cops appreciate you voluntarily accepting the same shameful and ungodly positions as a female baboon. Yeah buddy congratulations, you're as rebellious as a monkey gynecologist. Born to be wild? More like born to have a red ass in your face. Hell, at least the monkey gynecologist gets paid for it. You might as well go to the front of the line to get your animal STD test.
Even Tony Danza advises against getting baboons. Tony learned the hard way. His dumbass got a set of four baboons dressed as the A-Team to follow him around. Who's the boss? Obviously not you, ya fucking interspecies moron. Way to associate yourself with an 80's icon Tony. We all appreciate the opportunity to point and laugh at you. Forever. You people with three-toed sloth and rhinoceros fetishes have no room to laugh at Tony here. Yayyayaya Coco Jamboo, you're not african bitch!
People, I'm begging you, don't lump yourselves in with the fake-ass, no talent attention whores, the stupid condiments, the monkey gynecologists and the Tony Danzas of the world. Don't get a baboon.
User Reviews
Submitted by ETS (user info) at 2005-03-31 15:14:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-31 01:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the deuce, good fellow? If perchance they are propelling themselves toward you, it can be readily inferred that their motivation is an irresistible desire for some unspecified thing. Is it not more seemly that you should be their champion and benefactor than that they should become urchins, skulking about the slums, forsooth?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-29 04:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-29 03:40:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-26 18:06:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Tats(sic), Baboons get what they want cuz they earned it
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-01-28 14:40:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not stealing your phrase...just giving it the attention it deserves. What the deuce, good fellow? If perchance they are propelling themselves toward you, it can be readily inferred that their motivation is an irresistible desire for some unspecified thing. Is it not more seemly that you should be their champion and benefactor than that they should become urchins, skulking about the slums, forsooth?
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-28 13:54:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You sir ,are very interesting ~!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-27 20:00:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-26 17:07:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
You, sir, are a mocking genious.
A fucking mocking genious.
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:40:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-01-26 19:28:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
IS this all you are going to do, browse uber and write satires and parodies based on other posts?
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yeah, probably. i might post some original shit if i can think of any, but this seems to be going pretty well.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-01-26 22:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by ILL34GL3 (user info) at 2005-01-26 19:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! Ha! Fuck yeah.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-26 19:30:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I support this.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-01-26 19:28:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
IS this all you are going to do, browse uber and write satires and parodies based on other posts?
Because if so you will have many more +2s coming your way.
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-01-26 19:25:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-26 17:21:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
so you have a tatoo?
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no, just a baboon. might as well be a tattoo though, the way it rides my ass all day.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-26 18:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck nerds, Baboons get what they want cuz they earned it
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-26 17:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so you have a tatoo?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-26 17:07:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You, sir, are a mocking genious.
A fucking mocking genious.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-26 17:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-26 16:57:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ILL3G4L! haha! such a badass name...
fuck baboons man!
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2005-01-26 16:56:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok i wont