Anmial Rights Activists should be "Jarred". (723 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.33 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Thored (View user info) at 2005-01-27 15:06:42 EST
I was thinking the other day, wouldn't it be sweet to have a ship in a glass bottle? Or even better, a cat in a glass bottle, right?
Because everyone now gives a shit about the Bonsai Cat website (which has been made fun of on uber several times) I figure I too should make another shitty post. Besides, its been at least 36 days since the last one. What no one pointed out, was the stupidity of animal rights activists. If anyone hasn't visited this hilariously funny site, I suggest you do so first.
www.bonsaikitten.com
Instantly, everyone who is sane will realize that this is in fact a joke. Apparently, Animal Rights Activists don't know how to use photoshop.
As well, in true F.B.I. fashion, they waisted taxpayer money investigating this site. You can't find Bin Laden, and you waist time, money, and I.Q. on this bullshit?
So I logged on to a web forum, maybe Animal Rights people have a take on this that I may have overlooked.
"how can i help to get the web site Bonsai kitten shut down It may be a hoax but some crazy people may try putting a kitten in a bottle this web site should not be allowed is there someone i can can complain to"
-Concerned Activist
"Is there someone I can complain to"... Priceless. True Activist fashion.
"That is so horrible who would do something like that. If i ever met someone who did that kind of stuff i would putt them in a jar and see how they like it."
-Another Concerned Activist ( With better grammar skills )
Does this even need a comment?
What pisses me off the most, and I'm sure thousands of others have made the same comment, is the PETA.
"While the cruelty depicted on this Web site is a sick joke, the reality is that billions of animals suffer horrendously cramped conditions in factory farms. Chickens, calves, and pigs are crammed into cages so small they cannot turn or stretch."
Apparently, they have the same sense of humor as a communist. No one with a brain will ever give a shit about animals suffering until we can work out problems with people suffering first. I think I get the last laugh on that one. Following "the Tsunami", the PETA released a letter to their readers which entailed the suffering of thousands of animals in the wave, and barely anything about the suffering of people. If anyone is a sick joke, it's the PETA.
I figured all this seemed possible, the well educated animal rights people, and the FBI figured it was. So I decided to experiment. You can follow along at home.
Materials:
-Innocent Animal
-Super Glue
-Jar
-Vaccume
-Muscle Relaxant
Step one: I first had to run to the local SPCA. I didn't feel like using my dog, I suggest you use your little sisters or your neighbors.
Step Two: I then had to use a muscle relaxant to make the dogs bones go soft. After waiting for three hours, nothing had happened. I began to wonder if I could get super powers from having flexible bones. I could slip underneath doors without being detected.
*Seven hours later*
I woke up on the ground feeling very damp, it appears too much muscle relaxant makes more than just your bodies structural muscles go limp. I sugest pampers if you plan to experiment with this bone softening treatment.
Step three: Give up, and photo shop the picture, much to the dismay of useless Animal Rights activists across North America.
Now, I'm obviously joking, because if this were true, I think everyone on earth would find it sick. I have nothing against Animal Rights activists, only the stupid ones.
My dog owns your cat in a bottle.
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-01-27 21:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
stupid PETA
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-01-27 21:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The -2 is because I think you're stupid, in case you were confused.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-01-27 21:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-01-27 16:15:44 (#)
Ranking: -1
1- I had no idea a 'muscle' relaxant could make a 'bone' go limp.
2- Considering that there are kids out there stuffing cats into microwave ovens and trapping them in cages and then dousing them with lighter fluid and watching them burn (both incidents are the real deal), I can't really fault someone for initially overreacting to the bonsai kitten thing. I'm sure everyone who posted a complaint to that site now feels foolish, but I've rather have a population filled with heart than one which is heartless.
3- Since PETA is an animal rights organization (and I do not support them) it makes sense that they would express concern for animals. Would you complain about the National Organization for Women not addressing men's issues, or fire off a bitter email to a Barbie doll chatroom for not addressing the latest available handguns? Get a grip.
4- The treatment of many farm animals is quite horrific, and unnatural. A pig is a very socialized forager. If it is kept in a breeding cage or crate, that's unnatural, and leads to things like disease and cannibalism. Even from a meat-eater's point of view, the harsher the conditions the animals are raised in, the poorer the quality of your meat, and that means a loss of profit. Calling people who complain about these conditions idiots is not addressing the central issue.
5- You are quite a few years behind the times. That bonsai kitten stuff has been around for a while now.
6- "Apparently, they have the same sense of humor as a communist. No one with a brain will ever give a shit about animals suffering until we can work out problems with people suffering first. I think I get the last laugh on that one."
No, you don't.
If your house was on fire and you ran out into the street in flames, I wouldn't even piss on you to put you out.
But I would save your cute little doggie.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What he said. The only thing that I don't agree with is a "meat-eater's" perspective. Factory farms produce cheaper meat because they do it by mass-production. And we all know what mass-produced means - extremely low quality, extremely low price and extremely nasty situations for those involved in the production (in the case of animals: torture, filth, illness, neglect, well every bad thing possible including slow and painful death, no sunshine or grass, you know).
PETA as an isolated organization is pretty insane, but you can't take that one name and use it to throw shit at everyone who stands for similar principles. Usually people who care about the humane treatment of animals also care more about people than those who would like to set puppies on fire. It's about overall level of empathy and a refusal to accept unnecessary suffering as a fact of existence.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:13:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yay for meat!
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2005-01-27 18:22:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Even from a meat-eater's point of view, the harsher the conditions the animals are raised in, the poorer the quality of your meat, and that means a loss of profit.
--------------------------------
Loss of profit for who? The person selling the meat? What's a meat eaters point of view? Do all people who eat meat think alike? It seems like it's the right thing to treat animals correctly. Maybe the answer is to allow everyone in the U.S.A. to carry weapons and we can all hunt for our own food. That would solve everything...
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-01-27 16:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I never heard of "Anmial" Rights Activists.... ;-) (Only because you mentioned grammar.)
I saw the Bonsai Kitty Website a while back too, and I agree it was hysterical, especially the people who automatically believed it to be true... or even POSSIBLE. My lord...
I am an animal lover, no doubt, and although you won't see me joining the ranks of PETA any time soon, I don't think what they do has a negative affect at all, as a matter of fact, I think quite the opposite. It's just reeeeaaaaly easy to hate a group them, because they come off as having a wimp of a cause, and we all know who gets bullied on the playground - the wimps - yes, it's human nature. (Which is another reason why I don't call myself a "Human-animal-lover." Humans animals can suck it.
Peace.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-01-27 16:15:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
1- I had no idea a 'muscle' relaxant could make a 'bone' go limp.
2- Considering that there are kids out there stuffing cats into microwave ovens and trapping them in cages and then dousing them with lighter fluid and watching them burn (both incidents are the real deal), I can't really fault someone for initially overreacting to the bonsai kitten thing. I'm sure everyone who posted a complaint to that site now feels foolish, but I've rather have a population filled with heart than one which is heartless.
3- Since PETA is an animal rights organization (and I do not support them) it makes sense that they would express concern for animals. Would you complain about the National Organization for Women not addressing men's issues, or fire off a bitter email to a Barbie doll chatroom for not addressing the latest available handguns? Get a grip.
4- The treatment of many farm animals is quite horrific, and unnatural. A pig is a very socialized forager. If it is kept in a breeding cage or crate, that's unnatural, and leads to things like disease and cannibalism. Even from a meat-eater's point of view, the harsher the conditions the animals are raised in, the poorer the quality of your meat, and that means a loss of profit. Calling people who complain about these conditions idiots is not addressing the central issue.
5- You are quite a few years behind the times. That bonsai kitten stuff has been around for a while now.
6- "Apparently, they have the same sense of humor as a communist. No one with a brain will ever give a shit about animals suffering until we can work out problems with people suffering first. I think I get the last laugh on that one."
No, you don't.
If your house was on fire and you ran out into the street in flames, I wouldn't even piss on you to put you out.
But I would save your cute little doggie.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-01-27 15:42:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-27 15:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for not resizing pic
+2 for hating those flamers. get a life.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-27 15:10:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My favorite is sharkonline.org
Flaming their message boards is a hoot, although I haven't done it in a while.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-01-27 15:10:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Beagsley Beagsley! Grape Ape! Grape Ape!
Sorry, that's all I can say today.
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2005-01-27 15:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, that picture is really fucking hudge.
Sorry.