Chronicles of College Guy Final Episode: “In Loving Memory of Sam Richardson” (1659 hits)
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Submitted by The Chronicles of College Guy (View user info) at 2005-01-27 16:19:47 EST
In Loving Memory of Sam Richardson
(April 1, 1985 - January 27, 2005)
By Larry Caspachi
"Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die today."
When I woke up this morning, I was uneasy about getting out of bed. Then I remembered something: I am not at home. I was at my cousin Sam's house. Then another realization hit me: I needed to get the fuck out of here before he woke up.
Quietly tiptoeing across the room, I put on my shoes.
As I was lacing them, Sam's voice jumped out at me, "What the fuck are you doing, Dickless?"
I tensed up in fear. Creeping out of the shadows like some sort of sinister demon, Sam was smoking a cigarette. He liked to call me "Dickless" because he nearly castrated me once...a few months ago.
"Morning, Sam," I said to him. "I think I need to get go—"
"Hey!" Sam hollered, wrapping his strong arm around my fragile neck. "The party's not over, man! We still got some celebrating to do."
"I don't know, Sam," I said, looking at my watch. "I need to be at work at eight."
"People in the Mafia don't work, Larry."
"Yeah we do. I have a lot of—"
With that, Sam grabbed my shirt collar and tightened it around my neck.
"I said that the party wasn't over, Dickless," Sam growled. "Do you have a definitive problem with that statement?"
"No," I choked back.
With that, Sam was cordial enough to smoke me up. He had bought a hookah a few days prior—in celebration of leaving the mental hospital—and was smoking constantly over the week.
"This is great," Sam smiled, taking another huge hit. "We're gonna party all day."
That was the problem. We had been partying for three days now. I'd seen shit that I never wanted to see again—have you ever seen a hooker with a hole drilled into her skull just so another man can fuck her? I didn't think so. Anyway, I needed to get back to working now. My Uncle Paulie had told me to keep an eye on his operation at the docks. If he found out that I had been fucking around with Sam, he would be pissed.
"What's the matter?" Sam asked, slapping me on the arm.
"I'm hung over, burnt out, and tired, Sam. It's seven o'clock in the morning and I'm dead tired."
"Fuck you," he replied. "You need to know how to live, Dickless."
That's when he quoted James Dean for me. I tried to reply with a logical argument, but my cousin cut me off.
"Hey," Sam said, snapping his fingers. "There is one paper that I need to hand in this morning. After that, we'll be free to do whatever."
"Great," I sighed.
Stepping out into the cold morning air, we made our way to Sam's car. He started blasting "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". Sam drove aggressively the whole way, racing some Corvette. I think that Sam was upset that I didn't know the words to the song. He drove me to his campus and parked his car.
"You know," he said. "One time my friend Teddy and I beat up an old guy right here."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because what the fuck is an old guy doing at college?"
"He probably went to school here."
Sam waved me off. With that, Sam stepped out of the car and so did I. With that, a beat-up Volkswagen raced by us. It was full of niggers and they were all holding up guns. I froze instantly. A storm of bullets was unleashed upon us. Like a cyclone of lead, it destroyed Sam's car. I hit the ground and they pulled away. I checked myself. They had missed. They had tried to whack me, but they failed.
"You okay?" I said to Sam.
"No," he squealed back. "They got me."
"Oh shit," I said, getting up and running over to the other side of the car.
"The bullet," Sam moaned, trying to hold shattered flesh together.
"Don't talk," I told him. "Talking will make it worse. Just stay still."
With that, a tall guy ran over to us. He was big and muscular.
"Todd," Sam gasped.
The guy tore off his letterman jacket and put it on Sam's wound.
"You need to apply pressure," he told me.
Sam just laughed. I think a tear ran down his cheek.
Then I heard a loud feminine voice yell, "Police officer! Back away!"
I looked up to see a beautiful woman in street clothes with a badge in her hand. She was running to us.
"You," Sam gasped.
There seemed to be a pause as the woman stared at Sam. They had met before somewhere.
"Help him!" Todd screamed. "The man is dying."
The police officer radioed for help.
"I'm sorry," Sam said, his head now rocking back and forth. "I'm sorry to everyone."
The blood was coming out too much. He was sitting in a pool of it.
"Come on, man," Todd moaned. "Stay alive."
The woman officer sat next to Sam and told him to keep quiet. He did not listen. He was now delirious.
"Emily," Sam said, his eyes red and dripping. "Emily, I didn't mean to hurt you."
The police officer bit her lip. She looked utterly conflicted.
"I didn't mean to hurt anyone," Sam told her in a raspy voice, squeezing her hand. "I love you."
There was a quiet pause. The woman sat there, knowing that she was able to comfort this dying, hysterical criminal. She had no obligation to do anything but sit here until an ambulance arrived. No one could expect anything more from her.
But, with a tear running down her own face, she mustered a quiet and solemn, "I love you too."
Hearing these words of affection made Sam's smile widen even more. He sat up slightly.
"It was the twenty-seventh," he sputtered. "This is rapture."
Those would be his last. He died with a smile on his face. I think that's all he ever wanted.
-The End
User Reviews
Submitted by Sanatarium (user info) at 2005-02-10 21:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-02-07 18:05:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In Loving Memory of Sam Richardson
(April 1, 1985 - January 27, 2005)
Born on april's fools day coinsidence... maybe, I don't know.
Submitted by bleachfan (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
u make my favorite storys
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-02-01 21:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-01 13:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rest in peace you pig-fucker.
Submitted by BludKake (user info) at 2005-02-01 13:46:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I may have to abandon Uber.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-01-31 03:19:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-01-31 03:04:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel a void in my life, knowing that there will be no more College-Guy posts.
*sigh*
Submitted by Over_There (user info) at 2005-01-29 23:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The series was excellent. You crafted a great story.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-01-28 17:54:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet this is a dream sequence.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-01-28 17:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
actually, brilliant- kill him off while everyone still thinks you are good, and write something else. well done mr college guy sir.
Submitted by dudaculb (user info) at 2005-01-28 15:41:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so its really over?
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2005-01-28 11:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddamnit, NOW what am I going to do with all my free time?
Submitted by Auron (user info) at 2005-01-28 05:52:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fantastic series.
Brilliant writing that has kept me entertained for a long while.
Though I am slightly dissapointed with the ending.
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-01-28 01:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
meh
Submitted by Dustbrother (user info) at 2005-01-28 01:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ehhhhhhhhhhh
I've seen better.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-28 00:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the writing.
Umm...killed in a drive by, by a VW full of black people.
Come on.
Submitted by Adona (user info) at 2005-01-27 21:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-01-27 21:03:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad you died, hope your replacement is more likeable.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-27 20:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, 2 years younger than me.
Keep writing, Cousin of Sam. You've got similar skillz ; )
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-01-27 20:32:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Very well fucking done.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:17:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:10:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
What. The. Fuck?
This ended too abruptly.
StonedSilly, once again I must tell you to shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about. How about we lead into the ending and make it known that he's going to die, like the 3rd grade stories you're used to writing? Fuck off, you faggot (Who has the name silly in his name).
May +2's rain from heaven. How about a comment from the author???? Come on Sam! or Larry, or whoever you are!
--------------------
You're a fucking retard, dude. I wasn't commenting on the writing, I didn't want to see him go yet. I enjoyed his posts. They added a bit of a sick twist to my days. Once again, you're the one using third grade insults (OH LOL I KALLED U A NAME!!!!)
Fuck off and die, dude, nobody on this site has ever cared about you, and they never will.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude.
That was awesome.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So are you gonna go away now, or will you start on the prequels?
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:21:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank god.
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:09:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good end to a Great Series
Submitted by Revolutionman (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:08:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:'(
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-01-27 18:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you College Guy.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-27 18:10:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
truthfully this might be only the third post of yours i've ever read. The other two were like a BPS post and the flying jacket post or whatever it was.
Kudos for making an effort.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*clap clap*
Submitted by pokeysrevenge (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:54:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH COME ON NOW!
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:48:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*Starts a slow clap*
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:45:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So if you're dead, who wrote this post?
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:35:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
abrupt, but somehow appropriate
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:10:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
What. The. Fuck?
This ended too abruptly.
StonedSilly, once again I must tell you to shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about. How about we lead into the ending and make it known that he's going to die, like the 3rd grade stories you're used to writing? Fuck off, you faggot (Who has the name silly in his name).
May +2's rain from heaven. How about a comment from the author???? Come on Sam! or Larry, or whoever you are!
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Next Episode: Dead Sam. Plot:Sam learns in the afterlife that the cop
wasn't Emily, and comes back to wreck harvoc.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:10:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What. The. Fuck?
This ended too abruptly.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mr.JackassFrost (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.........................................
Part of me is saying NOOO!!!!!! SAM WILL NOT GO OUT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
Then part of me is saying, wow. That was one fucking amazing ending.
I am torn but I must say it is well written and shows much passion, good show.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:07:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES! FIRST TO REVIEW THIS MASTERPIECE.
Where do I begin? On uber, not a whole lot keeps me interested. This series, however, had me yearning for the next episode each day. You kick ass, man. Good luck with everything, with college and all. Thanks for helping my workday go by a lot smoother.