The Red States Are Coming! The Red States Are Coming! (778 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 2 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by e to the double b y (View user info) at 2005-01-27 16:41:46 EST
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In reference to:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/01/26/oscar.passion/index.html
(CNN) -- Internet Christian soldiers are admitting defeat in their battle to win a best picture Oscar nomination for "The Passion of the Christ" -- but their campaign to influence Hollywood goes on.
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As with all things religious, the people involved are overreacting and much like the election, Middle America is making their "uninformed" opinion heard, while the blue states are shocked once again as they face the reality that they are not the majority, or the epicenter of the country any longer.
(Looks like ya' been fooled twice now blue states, guess its time to start blaming you...)
It was not that great of a film. While it was powerful, was they're really anything special about the movie besides the fact that it was about the crucifixion of a religious icon, keyword being religious?
(Just because a movie lasts three hours doesn't make it good, just ask Costner...word has it Siskel actually died because someone mentioned the Postman in his general vicinity)
It showed the awful, painful and violent reality that is Mel Gibson's interpretation of the Stations of the Cross. It attempted to shock you into not paying attention to the lack of artistic merit with gruesome, captivating images of the Christian Savior seizing his destiny through the most ultimate sacrifice this side of a virgin.
The reality is that a great man died for what believed in. A man that apparently was enough of a leader to amass numerous followers in his own time, and an innumerable amount of followers ever since after. There is something to be said for that, no matter one's own belief structure. But it doesn't mean that the movie was one of the best five pictures of the year.
It was a popular movie with a built in audience. Unfortunately, this audience, at its fringes, have more than a few embarrassing members that are, in my unqualified opinion, FUCKING NUTS. They do not listen to reason, their arguments exist wholly based on opinion rather than fact, and worst of all, they possess the most irritating attitude in the world. One of "I am right, so you must be wrong", "If you are against me, then you must be evil and solely bent on preventing the world from knowing the truth", and worst of all, the bane to every child's existence, the dreaded, "Because I Said So!"
These fringe living morons base their entire lives on a foundation of fear. To quote he who said it best, Loki of Dogma fame, "Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions, out of, out of fear of some intangible parent figure that shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says, "Do it...do it and I'll fuckin' spank you!"
I cannot stand that attitude and it irritates me to no end that they have once again manipulated me into caring about something that does not matter. Jesus Christ, nor God, nor any angel not named Loki or Bartlby give a shit about whether or not a movie made by a fanatic is or is not nominated for an Oscar. (double and triple negatives be damned!!!)
First, they can't concentrate long enough to actually watch it because they're jealous of all the fun the Muslims are having down the street, each with their own 72 virgins, living in a state of cherry poppin', porkless bliss. And to make matters worse, the damn Jehova's Witnesses keep getting past a perpetually drunk Peter at the pearly gates.
The only thing they do make time for is watching YOU masturbate.
This is America after all, so let's put it to a vote, what is more entertaining, watching the faces that you make whilst stroking it OR watching the man, who would later be reincarnated as David Koresh and ultimately burned alive by the ATF, being beaten for three hours and only to find salvation on a motherfuckin' cross alongside the common criminals Arty the Horse Thief and Jeff the Leper Rapist?
(much like the election, I will choose to not vote but still leave work early in order to vote, instead going home to smoke marijuana and let a bunch of heavenly weirdo's watch me touch myself...hey, I don't know, that's how they roll... plus if I did vote it would be like picking between Spam, and Spam Extra, Now with More Man Gravy: you don't want to eat either of them and you definitely don't want them running your country...but we have to make the best of it)
In conclusion:
Yes, the film was a phenomenon. Yes, it spoke to millions of people
and yes, it inspired many to change their lives.
But then so did American Idol.
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Author's note: I never saw the movie and just like the people I attack in this rant, I too did not support any of my arguments with anything but sophomorically humorous and pop-culture-reference-laden barbs aimed at an easy target. I call it style.
I admit my own hypocrisy and leave judgment to you, faithful reader. To close, I would like to ask a friend of mine to speak on my behalf.....
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-01-28 08:27:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip!"
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
that's the best joke i've heard this week!
oh, nice post, too.
Submitted by Mister_Fahrenheit (user info) at 2005-01-27 22:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Adjomak (user info) at 2005-01-27 20:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Exellecent post. +2 for Peter Griffine
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good rant.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:45:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh... Jeff the leper-rapist.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip!
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-01-27 19:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holla back youngin'
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-01-27 18:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a red state. I am informed. I am not a bible banger. I want a grilled cheese sandwich.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-27 18:16:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:58:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2005-01-27 17:35:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
once again, ignored by the gods of uber..............tear.