How To Tell If You're An Idiot (799 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.36 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lechuga (View user info) at 2005-01-28 11:57:43 EST
"The Following Colleges have no class today: Amherst College, Smith College, Mt. Holyoke College, Hampshire College. Amherst and surrounding towns will receive 6-8" of snow, Wednesday, January 26. Winds 10-13 knots. High temperature will be 21° Fahrenheit. Low temperature will be -3° Fahrenheit. There is a frostbite warning in effect." Said the computerized voice on my TV Wednesday.
Fuck, I was hoping they had cancelled classes, because it was a blizzard outside, and it was deathly cold. Amherst public access is run by UMass, but other colleges have access to make announcements, school cancellations, and other random things. Everyone watches this channel to check to see if they have classes on a snowy day.
Since the wind-chill was probably around -16°, it would be a tit bit nipply outside. I breast bundle up. I got my hat, gloves, sweatshirt, jacket, and prepared myself for the 35-minute walk to my 8:00 AM class.
Upon stepping out of my dorm, I was greeted by the intense, biting wind on my face. The snow was over my ankles, and plows were nowhere to be seen. I saw several people walking with their scarves, hats, gloves, some even with snow pants on for an added bonus of warmth. But then I saw something I wasn't prepared for.
When you go outside in a blizzard, there are certain things you expect, and other things you don't. Things you expect include lots of snow all over you, zero visibility, slippery walking conditions, people dressed warmly, and few cars on the road. Some things you don't expect to see include people in shorts, light, spring jackets, no hats, and sneakers with low cut socks.
I saw all of those things. I saw someone walk out of my building with shorts and running shoes on. I can understand the shorts if you're going running, but he calmly walked to class. Keep in mind that it's still at or around 0° with no wind. I would expect something like that in middle school, where girls would wear hats and gloves and a heavy coat, with short shorts on.
Now that today's Friday, and it's still just as cold outside, I see more and more people with shorts and light jackets on, while I'm freezing cold with gloves, a hat, and a hood on. Could these people be some sort of Metahuman, that produces enzymes that counter the cold weather, and keep them warm against all forms of snow and ice? Could they have higher metabolisms than the rest of us? Could they possibly be sporting the cutting edge technology of invisible clothing?
No. They're just idiots.
Today, Friday, has been the same. I see people that are dressed like it's June, wearing sunglasses to reduce the glare from the 2 feet of snow on the ground, walking around shivering. I sat next to one such person in my History class today, and he turned to me said, "Hey, it's fucking cold out, eh?"
I was about to say something like "Yeah, good thing you have that Polartech fleece jacket and--" Then I saw that he was wearing shorts, and I rethought what I was going to say. "Could it be that you are wearing shorts in the middle of winter?"
He responded by saying the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. "Your vital organs are in your chest, they need to be kept warm more than my legs, so it's okay to wear shorts." I don't know how the hell this kid made it into college. I was tempted to tell him that your legs have a lot of blood and muscle in them and need to be kept warm as well, otherwise bad things will happen, but I kept my mouth shut to avoid an argument.
So I hope that these people get frostbitten kneecaps, and they fall into the snow. Then they'll have an idea of just how cold not wearing pants can be.
Bastards.
User Reviews
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-29 08:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate those people. There's a big guy I know, big enough to be known as "big-tom". He wears vests all year round cause his body fat covers his enormous muscle, the mans got more body hair than most primates too, quite annoying in the winter when he won't stop calling you a pussy
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
reminds me of a gal in college that went barefoot year round - and we have plenty of snow and ice in the winter!
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-01-28 15:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lechuga is a Man.
See his camwhore in his user profile.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-28 14:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is lechuga a chick?
+2 for Mass... for two reasons. I'm from MA, and New ENGLAND RULES WOO!
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-28 12:53:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
minus fucking 20 this morning on the way to work. dont know what the wind chill was but i assure you it was wicked low.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-28 12:40:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to ski in shorts. Maybe you're just a pussy.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-28 12:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
duurrrrrr
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-28 12:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's a macho thing.. to see who can tough it out the most.
Stupid men stuff.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-01-28 12:20:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I work at a hospital. We've had numerous idiots come in with frostbitten toes because they were wearing flip-flops in 0 degree weather.
Stupid Butt-Monkeys
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-01-28 12:16:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me laugh.
Guys around here are notorious for wearing shorts and t-shirts in the middle of winter. They'll walk around with their hands in their pockets and their arms glued to their sides, shivering so hard it looks like they're having convulsions.
Submitted by Grin (user info) at 2005-01-28 12:13:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-01-28 12:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment