work, racist jokes, and another black mark on my soul (1969 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.66 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by hungovermondays (View user info) at 2005-01-28 14:36:04 EST
After yet another mind numbing episode in the restaurant business, I finally reach my favorite part of the night. Locking the front door, and retiring with my co-workers out back to have the last cigarette of the night.
On this night I am joined by our head cook, and night manager. The manager is a kind, but sort of goofy brit with a hard on for star trek. The head cook is a fellow compatriot in the war against life. He typically drinks 6-10 beers before coming in to work, and by about 8o'clock starts asking if he can stab people. He is also the best cook I have ever encountered.
I had already tripped a small Asian girl that night, and only made it out of the dinning room in time to bust out laughing, so the stage for evil was set.
So we're outside, its cold, but we're smoking, and even better, no more patrons for the night. I mention that when I mopped the women's floor the night before it smelled like an unclean vagina, which seemed strange to me.
The manager comes back with a joke about red necks, I don't remember what. He even tries for a redneck accent, which sounds really weird coming from a brit.
I don't know why but I tell this joke: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A: a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
We yuk it up until the cook counters with : how do you fit a hundred jews in a Volkswagen?
A: in the ashtray.
At this point I start looking around suspiciously. I was really pushing it tonight, tripping little girls, staring at the waitresses ass's and wondering what size glass might fit up them, heckling the cooks, and now this, senseless racist jokes. If their was an all knowing, omni present god, he was sure disappointed in my behavior. But shit, I didn't believe in a god anyway...right?
Wrong. I got hit by a bus and had to train pigeons to understand English and type this post.
User Reviews
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-25 22:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to give you a -2.
Then by the time the "what size glasses could fit up it" I would give you a -1.
But with the last line?
+3.
But -1 cuz the rating systems sucks and only goes up to 2.
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm a Jew and I find those jokes appalingly offensive. You will be hearing from my lawyers and the ACLU by the morning you Nazi basterd.
Really though, I am a Jew. Those jokes are classics, as long as they're not taken too seriously.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hitler loves me this I know
For the Nazis tell me so
Red or Yellow
Black or White
Makes no difference
The're gassed at night.
<Choris>
Yes Hitler loves me
and so on
Sorry.....
It gets worse
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great ending.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-25 00:58:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why but I tell this joke: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A: a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
Classic
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-01-29 14:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this I liked.
way to go.
those pigeons post some good stuff...
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-01-28 17:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
those pigeons spell better than i do.
how sad is that?
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-28 15:21:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
morbid...
___
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-28 14:37:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
The Jews wouldn't have screamed either, considering their bodies were only burnt after they were gassed to death.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-01-28 15:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some days at work can be more fun than a night of drinking. Too bad they are few and far between.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-28 14:44:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the deuce, good fellow? If perchance they are propelling themselves toward you, it can be readily inferred that their motivation is an irresistible desire for some unspecified thing. Is it not more seemly that you should be their champion and benefactor than that they should become urchins, skulking about the slums, forsooth?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-28 14:42:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
classic anti-semitism. try finishing a black joke after your black coworker comes back half-way through the joke.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-28 14:37:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The Jews wouldn't have screamed either, considering their bodies were only burnt after they were gassed to death.