Al Qaeda claiming responsibility for Brad and Jen's Breakup (651 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -0.4 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mitch Apalooza <denjer1.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-29 20:46:37 EST
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH TERROR BLOODSHED OHHH THE HUMANITY!!!!!
BRAD AND NOOOOOOO JEN!!!! HOW COULD THEY!!!??? THEY'VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME!!!
I read somewhere that due to the Bush administration's incredible homeland security advances in.... mmm... security, that Al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations have been desperate to hit america where it hurts.
But they just haven't been successful with their recent attempts at bombing buildings, bridges, or other strategic infrastructures.
Also, they can't seem to touch our President (Uberuser GodLovesALittleLovin)... thanks to 1- his incredibly trained staff of ninja-samurai robo-uberkillers, and 2- his overall badassness and dontfuckwithme-ness.
So they've come up with something even more devious.... America's hollywood royalty.
That's right... Al Qaeda just took responsibility for Brad and Jen's break up.
It was announced at 803am EDT (I think that's 603pm, 1973, Syria time) that they claimed responsibility for the couple's recent troubles, and final breakup in recent days.
By implanting thoughts of children in Brad, and thoughts of retaining her HOT ass and abs in Jen (not to mention implanting Brad's dick and Angelina's poonish regions), Al Qaeda claimed it successfully broke up Hollywood's Sexiest Couple* (*source: TV Guide/ People Magazine/ Teen AlJazeera TV).
Al Qaeda also stated they would not stop there, as they would also continue to destroy Hollywood at its source, citing other possible target... such as making one of the Olsen twins anorexic, and turning one of the Hilton sisters into a whore.
They also announced they would -2 random users' first post (those heartless bastards)
User Reviews
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-02-22 07:31:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Mitchapalooza (user info) at 2005-02-22 06:44:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-22 02:56:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Mitchapalooza (user info) at 2005-02-22 02:48:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
you still have to answer for the (fake) dead babies pictures.
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He did, asswipe. Way to fuck up a +2 streak, idiot.
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first off, no... he didn't. that lame post-post was shit.
secondly, the -2 was actually for the picture. It sucks. End of story.
lastly, the comment was a bitter commentary on his previous actions as well as a painful reminder that we mustn't forget the crimes of the past, lest we repeat them.
As the marines say, NEVER FORGET, NEVER FORGIVE.
PS do you really think i give a shit that my personal opinion might be in contrast with a 'streak'?? go fuck yourself for being sheep, and once more for criticizing those who aren't.
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In which case I shall never forgive your shite posts.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-02-04 06:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what's with the random apostrophes?
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-02-03 16:11:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
for the review on the -2 die post. you unoriginal piece of fruit!
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-01-30 05:10:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2005-01-30 01:32:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
they also caused diana's death
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No, sorry. That was me. Bitch had the audacity to turn me down at one of those fancy schmancy Royal Galas when I asked her to dance (or maybe I said "get freaky", I can't remember). Nobody turns Bizdorph down and gets away with it.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-01-30 05:10:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-30 04:54:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2005-01-30 03:13:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck em all
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2005-01-30 01:32:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
they also caused diana's death
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-01-29 21:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sweet for a first post, overall, not terrible.
i also did a brad/jen piece: http://www.ubersite.com/m/56594
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-01-29 20:59:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
A little too random, but the grammar was actually clean.
Submitted by Jarvis (user info) at 2005-01-29 20:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is no longer relevant due to Hollywood is now obsessed with Johnny Carson's death.