You know you're a redneck when... (895 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.52 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jabroni (View user info) at 2005-01-31 00:03:00 EST
i got this forwarded in an email. thought i should pass it on. a couple people should fit right in with the last one. coughmisogynistfattonycough. but hey, i fall in to that category too..
You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front
of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how
much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch
this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-spangled Banner" are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off
its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-08 00:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by antiLemming (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:39:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
You might be an asshat if:
1. You submitted this post.
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hahahaha
Submitted by Ballskid43 (user info) at 2005-02-07 23:48:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not only have i seen this before, but you like bush so you must be a fucking redneck yourself.
do yourself a favor and learn about how corrupt republicans are, faggot
Submitted by Rope (user info) at 2005-01-31 11:18:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
...when yer gun rack has a gun rack on it.
Submitted by wtf_is_going_on (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've read this too many times, that it just doesn't make me even crack a smile.
sorry!
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Funny email. You're funny too. This is great.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:17:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
THANKS FOR THE EMAIL GRANDMA
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:08:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've known for a while that the red-neck blood flows in my veins, aint yet been able to find a way to hide it...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This must be new....First time I've ever seen this one.
Today.
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-01-31 08:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2nami
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-31 06:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I like to sniff the mass that forms between my toes when i've not changed my socks for 7 weeks.
Submitted by shakerbake (user info) at 2005-01-31 03:35:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by KingHFB (user info) at 2005-01-31 01:10:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:51:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
This wasnt funny when Jeff Foxworthy did it in 1993 and its still not funny in 2005.....-2 Kill Yourself.
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SPOT ON SKIP
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This wasnt funny when Jeff Foxworthy did it in 1993 and its still not funny in 2005.....-2 Kill Yourself.
Submitted by antiLemming (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:39:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You might be an asshat if:
1. You submitted this post.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:30:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
.....you know you're a redneck when you have a truck.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:23:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
did i mention my truck? oh i did, well it says minus 2 and i have to agree.....
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57943
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You thought wrong. This is not the material we come here to read.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
...you use other people's tired shit to make a crap post.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile(+1)
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Get your own damn material. SLEEP! SLEEP! DEATH!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-01-31 00:04:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I got as far as "i got this forwarded in an email."
LIGHTNING BOLT!