The Bicycle Bandit (699 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.13 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hadooken<Hadooken13.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-31 08:24:04 EST
So yesterday I was on the phone with a childhood friend of mine (for the sake of story telling we will call him Steve) who was checking in to see how things were going, and we got to trading stories of our travels (he is in the army).
A little background on Steve, when we were kids he was always the quiet type. Not very social in any respect and kinda quirky. He has always been tall, with red hair, and kinda goofy looking, but one of the funniest people i know. He has the amusing tendency to say something totally random at the worst possible time and it funny 100% of the time.
Steve graduated a year after me so after I was long gone to Europe he and some people from school took a trip down to Myrtle Beach in celebration of finally clearing high school. Not an uncommon thing as my classmates and I made the same venture one year before them for a week of drinking and other assorted mischief.
On of the nights on this trip after most everybody else was either passed out drunk or in bed with either their girlfriend or whatever skank they picked up that day, Steve decides to go for a walk around the town and along the beach. After wandering a few blocks away from the hotel where everybody was staying, a guy on a bicycle approaches my friend tells him to give him some money.
Steve, at first laughs it off until bicycle guy pulls a gun out the back of his jeans and requests a funds transfer again.
Steve is in disbelief as he only has $12 on him and was going to use that to eat something because he was starting to get hungry. As he hands over the 12 dollars his assailant then says "What else ya got? What about your pockets?" In classic Steve form, he says "I got some minty flavored gum if you want your breath to smell better" as he reaches into his pocket and produces exactly that.
Not even a split second after he said that he realized what a mistake that was as he had what he described as a "life flashing before your eyes moment". Strangly enough the robber smiled, nodded his head, and said "Thanks homey" as he took the gum and rode off on his bicycle.
The lesson to be learned here people, is, always have gum.
User Reviews
Submitted by podium (user info) at 2005-03-22 17:13:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-01-31 16:43:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like tidbits like this.
you don't have to juice up a real story- It's just a story
of something that happened.cool that you just wrote it verbetuim (I need spell check!)
good.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-01-31 16:30:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Now now children, don't make me call the principal.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-01-31 15:59:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweeeeeeet.
Thanks Homie.
nit
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:42:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Gum? You should always have a gun.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:30:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
most people here like me more than you
whoah whoah whoah I never said I LIKED you, just that I hate him MORE than you. ...I'm kidding, you're great. Call me when you write something good, we'll rap about it. Besides, the only human emotion Im capable of is hatred...and felching, thats an emotion right? you mom said it was when I felched her last night...again I'm kidding, it was your dad.
I love you, marry me.
ps tell your dad to stop calling me.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:14:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
gotta admit,I'm with hadooken on this one.
face it schlongy, as much of a piece of shit that you think i am, and for as horrible and worthless as you think i am, most people here like me more than you. so what does that make you? even the apparently incredibly miniscule contribution i make will still forever cast a shadow over your lack of originality, creativity, and logic. you are beneath me, and nothing you can say matters to anybody but you and your pet cat that you sodomize on a consistent basis.
now, choke on the semen that you vomit up later.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:18:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:05:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont matter? funny hearing you say that because we all know you are the authority on what matters and what doesnt. you are the biggest piece of shit i have ever encountered on this site and i would smile if you were fucking dead. you are worse than shit and i cant even come up with a word to decribe how much i fucking hate you.
Really?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:14:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
gotta admit,I'm with hadooken on this one.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i would seriously love it if you never, ever, ever again for as long as you waste oxygen on this earth, click on any post submitted by me. i dont care if it becomes the most heated, or even the #1 most viewed post of all time, i dont want your input. even if you did click on it and thought it was the greatest post in the history of the world i still wouldnt want your +2.
just dont ever fucking speak in my presence ever again. you are shit, always will be shit, and nothing you post on uber will ever make up for the fact that your mother tried to abort your fetus and stabbed you in the head with a coat hanger causing whatever mental ailment you are sharing with the rest of us. feel free to finish the job you cock sucking crack whore mother started when you were in her crooked woom.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 13:05:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont matter? funny hearing you say that because we all know you are the authority on what matters and what doesnt. you are the biggest piece of shit i have ever encountered on this site and i would smile if you were fucking dead. you are worse than shit and i cant even come up with a word to decribe how much i fucking hate you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 12:58:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 12:44:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
i was left off the list of people left off a list.
a double-shun.
eat poop.
That should tell you everything you need to know about yourself, shitforbrains.
You don't matter.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 12:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you seem full of yourself. considering you are shit, i guess that makes you full of shit. i'm yet to hear an argument from you that makes any sense or even exceeds a 5th grade level.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 12:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't flatter yourself, loser. You couldn't carry my jock.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-01-31 12:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
wow, lotsa rage going on for this post...
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 12:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thats because i took some time off. trust me, whether you want to or not, your trying to be the next me. thats all i did when i first got here was pile on everybody with something hateful to say. thats why your "gimmick" is not that amusing, considering i did it to death before you dialed in. and if you are that hateful and are just trying to vent, you are probably more miserable than you percieve me to be.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 11:14:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not "the next you"???
Thank fucking God.
Who the fuck would want to be you?
YOU don't even like being you, dipshit.
I never even heard of you until a month ago. Fucking loser.
Post some more stuff at 2am, asshole.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:43:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
internet fighting is fun der der der der
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:31:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:29:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't have to post anything worth a shit because...
1) I own this site
2) I am the "Best Reviewer 2004".
So pipe down, circus clown.
you dont own dick. and i was best reviewer 2003 and all time -2 hall of fame. i would have gone back to back had i not taken most of 2004 off. you are not the next me so stop trying.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:29:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't have to post anything worth a shit because...
1) I own this site
2) I am the "Best Reviewer 2004".
So pipe down, circus clown.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:17:21 (#)
Ranking: 1
how far do you think the cavs will go this year
3 seed in the east and get bounce in the eastern conference finals.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
how far do you think the cavs will go this year
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i still dont see where any whining has taken place? recent posts have been, story, picture, and other ramblings, none of which am i the least bit dissatisfied with anything. i guess some people have nothing better to do than repeatedly come back to a post an -2 in 50,000 times. You did it with hidden101's latest masterpiece and you are doing it now. not that i care, i welcome the heat. and this little "discussion" keeps me busy while i sit at my desk.
the ball is in your court "friend"
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 10:06:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i just looked at your user info. funny that you dump on what other people do when you yourself have contributed little if anything to the cause. avg rating of all posts 0.02. That is epic, such classic posts as the one about uh....and the picture of..hmmm....memorable stuff, keep it coming. douche.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll let you know the next time I'm in NY, tough guy. Probably be in August.
In the meantime, kill yourself, you fucking whiny bitch.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
please tell me you are somewhere in the state because i would love to fucking run you over with my truck like tuesdaydelay suggested. that would make my pee pee hard.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
where in this post was i whining? you argue but you fail to make a valid point fuckhead. btw, why dont you come with something worthy of a positve rating. if anybody should NOT be throwing stones its you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:35:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
See if you can post a few more gems where you don nothing but whine.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Quit posting...and get the fuck out of NY.
You're embarrassing the entire state.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
honestly, what the fuck? this post had nothing to do with me getting drunk, this post had nothing to do with me whatsofuckingever. It was a story that a friend of mine had shared and i thought was amusing enough to pass along to others. this asshole just looks for a reason to troll around dropping minus pts on anything and generally trying to be a dickhead that pisses everybody off. his opinion means jack shit and its not going to change how things are done, not by me or by anybody. we would all be better off if he just fucked off never to be heard from again.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:24:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! w00 w00 w00 w00 w00
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:17:04 (#)
Ranking: -1
You write one more fucking post with the word "drinking" in it, and I'm sending a fucking assassin to your house.
fuck you dipshit, that wasnt even the point of the post. dont ever fucking click on any of my posts ever again, i dont want your input, comments, or presence in the same vicinity as mine. fucker.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:17:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You write one more fucking post with the word "drinking" in it, and I'm sending a fucking assassin to your house.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-01-31 09:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-31 08:35:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I bought a case of PBR with his $12.
=======================================================================
What did you do with the $8 change after your purchase?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-01-31 08:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
heh
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-31 08:35:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bought a case of PBR with his $12.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-01-31 08:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's a lesson i only have to learn once
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-31 08:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Either that, or carry a gun when you go riding around on your bicycle.