re: Carol Richards (973 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jabroni (View user info) at 2005-01-31 20:37:26 EST
-How many seconds does it take for a woman to open a can of beer?
None. It should be open by the time she brings it to the couch
-Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman
-Why don't women wear watches?
Because there's a clock on the stove
-Why did god give men penises?
So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up
-What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
Marriage
-Why are hangovers better than women?
Hangovers will go away.
-If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have
you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.
-What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
-Why do women have arms?
Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?
-A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"
The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"
He replies, "Because you're ugly."
User Reviews
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-03-04 02:19:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
eh
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2005-02-26 14:43:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
why don't women need umbrellas?
Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-01 21:00:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
here's an extra +2 in case you thin i was stealing your work (the under the belt trick). sorry, i wasn't.
Submitted by Mr.JackassFrost (user info) at 2005-02-01 19:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed so hard I spit on my screen at the last joke.
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-02-01 19:18:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what does a women do when she gets home from the domestic abuse shelter?
the dishes if she knows what's good for her.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-02-01 04:29:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Why do women have legs?
-
Well just look at the mess snails make.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-02-01 02:27:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Funny, in a retarded 14-year-old way. Sad.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-02-01 02:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the last one only.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-02-01 02:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Full marks.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-01-31 21:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's funny because it's true!
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-31 21:51:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good shit
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 21:44:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
See Carol's box- live and in color: http://www.ubersite.com/m/58252
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2005-01-31 21:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lolcano.
Submitted by Kakashi-Sensei (user info) at 2005-01-31 21:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice list...
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 21:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lets not forget the classic...
what do you tell a woman with too black eyes?
nothing, she's already been told twice.
Submitted by rock_music (user info) at 2005-01-31 21:15:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I concur.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-31 21:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
How'd you miss THIS one?
Why do women have pussies?
So men will talk to them!
Thank you...I'll be here all week, two shows on Thursdays.
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-01-31 21:07:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why haven't we sent a woman to the moon?
Because it doesn't need cleaning just yet.
Whoo! Now I just have to hide.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-31 20:48:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
time for the LOLLERDERBY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-01-31 20:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by The_Grammar_Nazi (user info) at 2005-01-31 20:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Herbert Walker Christ! Is carol-bashing like the new bandwagon?
Because I'll hope on and ride that piggy until her lesbian fish-eating frinds come home.
and when i say "lesbian", i don't mean porno lesbians, who are hot. I mean ugly dykes. And nobody likes an ugly lesbian.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-31 20:39:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i laughed so hard at that last one.
ROFLCOPTER indeed
make that bitch (carol) die