VH1 Behind the Uber: The Bart Story (1065 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.85 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hadooken<Hadooken13.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-02 11:08:58 EST
It all started back in the 70s in a small country by the name of Chad. His father, a defense contractor for the Chadian military, he mined rocks that the Army of Chad used for weapons. His mother, a stay at home mom who tended to the children. His 2 older brothers worked with their father in the rock mines and were proud to be the heirs to the Cilfone family rock mining business.
Young Bart was different from his siblings in that he was not happy with the simple life with the simple pleasures that a Chadian rock mining family enjoyed. He dreamed of living a big life in a big city and making a big impact on the world.
It wasn't until the great Civil War of Chad in the mid 80's did Bart finally get his ticket out of his crumbling nation. A group of refugees seeking a new place to live all boarded a ship and left the war torn Chad for a more peaceful place.....America
Upon arriving in America, Bart did odd jobs here and there, meeting interesting people and traveling from place to place. He was amazed how different all the American people were and as the years gone by, he became even more fixated on the in behavior patterns of the public.
Day became night, and night became day; time passed by, the early 90s arrived, and it was in a little shack in a rural community somewhere in New Mexico when Bart had an epiphany. Create a forum where people of all kinds could come together and interact. They could interact in their purest form, uncensored, raw, completely in their element. This dream gave Bart a new lease on life, but sadly he knew of no such way to bring in people from all over the country that was feasible.
Bart's travels took him to Chicago where he met a man named Leonard. He and Leonard became instant pals, both working as hard as they could to scrape out a living in the city. Leonard had a certain street smarts about him and handled himself well, which really benefited Bart as he was just a naïve young man born into a rock mining family in Chad, and was ill prepared for the dangers of a major metropolitan area such as Chicago.
The two became roommates and things were what they were. Top Ramen and Shasta was the meal of survival and stealing cable television from the neighbors was a luxury.
Business ventures for Leonard brought fortune and he made the purchase of something that would change the world forever... a desktop computer. This was no ordinary desktop computer, this one came with something nobody else's ever had... a CDROM for free America Online.
After the initial enjoyment of downloading naughty photos wore off, Bart rekindled his dream of voyeuristic human observation. Chat rooms not being quite enough to satisfy this craving Bart came up with the concept for a webpage, and so Ubersite was born.
Bart saved every penny he earned until finally he had enough money to purchase all the necessary equipment, software, and web space required to unleash his creation on the general public.
Sadly, 3 days before Uber's grand opening, Leonard died of a heroin overdose, and never got to see the creation of his hetero life-mate. Bart was never the same, he denounced his Chadian heritage, and dedicated all of his time to his studies, and keeping Uber alive and well in memory of Leonard.
User Reviews
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-02 23:52:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i will continue to do that, thanks. try and stop me.
Submitted by carolrichards (user info) at 2005-02-02 23:42:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Do not use my submissions to advertise your own
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-02-02 13:20:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for groundhog day!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-02 12:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously- WHERE the fuck is the funny part?
It's not the two lines about "growing up in Chad"...is it?
I hope to fuck not.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nice to see asshole has trolled his way onto my post. still more creativity then you would ever exercise, ya fuck. i'm not even going to acknowledge you from this point on because it's obvious that you are beneath me and i could waste my time in more constructive ways.
go post another picture you found on the internet.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:54:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Did I miss the "funny" part?
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Would have been funnier with some mock interviews, but it was long already.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:49:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this will probably blossom into pure awesomeness
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:42:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was brutal.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I look forward to a series.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:20:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
i am thinking of making behind the uber a series and i will be sure to incorporate that. i already have another one near completion. there will be "MORE COWBELL"
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automatic +2 when you do. I promise.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:22:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What is this world coming too ?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58412
Click above to find out.....
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:11:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you high?
----
Buahahaha. I love Jared.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:20:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:18:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm giving this a solid zero because it did not start with "1997, Bart Cilfone met with legendary producer, Bruce Dickinson..."
i am thinking of making behind the uber a series and i will be sure to incorporate that. i already have another one near completion. there will be "MORE COWBELL"
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"After the initial enjoyment of downloading naughty photos wore off..."
Proof that this story is pure bullshit.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:18:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm giving this a solid zero because it did not start with "1997, Bart Cilfone met with legendary producer, Bruce Dickinson..."
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:16:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:12:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
RIP Leonard.
Actually, in the early '90s AOL sent out floppies rather than cds. I still have a few of them from back in the day that were reformatted and recycled.
thats why nobody else had them.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
RIP Leonard.
Actually, in the early '90s AOL sent out floppies rather than cds. I still have a few of them from back in the day that were reformatted and recycled.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you high?
Cilfone is obviously a Sudanese name.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-02-02 11:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I'm not reading all that!