UberMurder! Degreeless executed for the murders of Loki and Munkeypants! (675 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.67 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Timmah http://www.these-bloody-hands.tk (View user info) at 2005-02-02 21:19:56 EST
Sorry for the delays. Due to no murders being committed recently we are just going to go ahead with the next hanging. After counting the votes the people of Uber have voted that Degreeless_Capibara will be the next to meet his maker. We took degreeless in for questioning before sentencing him to death. Upon questioning he admitted to being the murderers accomplice but would not comment further.
A small wooden cage rattles on the back of a cart between the hoards of villagers, all pushing and shoving to get a good view. A dirty, broken shell of a creature looks up from the floor it was scratching at and snarls at the horrified onlookers. As the cart comes to a halt, one man unshackles Degreeless from his chains and leads him up the stairs to the noose.
He sweeps his extended finger across the crowd and says in a messianic tone.
"You all think you know who to look for. Let me just say this. For the ubermurderer, the best thing of all turned out to be the worst thing of all." Before the hangman can pull the hood over the condemned's head, degreeless pulls out a gun and shoots himself in the temple.
Well the accomplice has been caught and killed! The only question is, does what degreeless said before his death have any relevance? What did he mean by the best thing of all turned out to be the worst thing of all? It's up to you, the people of uber to decide!
Keep a watchful eye, as it could be you next!
Tim Murray Overseer and Coroner
Deceased:
Munkeypants - Murdered
GodLovesALittleLovin - Executed
Loki - Murdered
Degreeless - Executed
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:50:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sooo, do you plan on having more murders or do you want us to keep guessing till we find who killed loki and munkeypants?
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed it.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-03 22:20:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed it.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bump for anyone who missed it.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-03 12:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-03 10:40:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-03 04:59:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah I was in this.... as someone in the background I think
*yawn*
give me a yell if my part gets exciting or something
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Well you havn't voted given any opinion on any of the murders etc etc I don't see your p[art getting exciting any time in the near future. sorry
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indeed - because you didn't involve me.
its my comment and I'll sulk if I want to.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-03 11:35:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i was waiting for this!
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-03 10:40:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-03 04:59:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah I was in this.... as someone in the background I think
*yawn*
give me a yell if my part gets exciting or something
============================================================
Well you havn't voted given any opinion on any of the murders etc etc I don't see your p[art getting exciting any time in the near future. sorry
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-03 04:59:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah I was in this.... as someone in the background I think
*yawn*
give me a yell if my part gets exciting or something
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-02-02 23:28:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damnit and i think i have it this time. Where's the chief when ya need him?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-02-02 22:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(There is a possibility that the entire story above is in fact wrong. Darko holds no accountability if it turns out Degreeless was innocent and wrongly put to death. Afterall he is just one vote, and it would take more than that to convict Degreeless.)
That said, I still feel bad. Instead of getting the killer I instead only managed for the accomplice to be brought to justice. Granted less scum like degreeless around makes the world a better place for everyone. But this is not enough, and uber is no safer now than it was before. I apologize to everyone for my part in what now seems like a wild conspiracy theory on my part to link degreeless to the crime. That said I will devote even more time and effort into putting the pieces together to help Chief FunnyAsCancer apprehend the correct criminal and end this killing spree once and for all. I just hope I can get my notes reorganized before the killer strikes again, afterall who knows who is next?
and plus 2 for groundhog day!
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:57:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about Joemama
User id: 13699
Registered on or around: 2004-11-11 02:56:10
# Messages posted: 2
# Reviews written: 420
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 30
# Hits: 543
Average rating of all messages: -1.00
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In conclusion. Who the fuck are you?
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:57:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL ELECTRO IM DED! OMG LIEK I GUESS NO OEN HATES U N E MORE CUZ U RUEL!
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH SNAP.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES! DIE DEGREELESS! DIE YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
W00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
MAXIMUM OWNAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
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Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:32:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FINALLY, TIM!!
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:32:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The best thing of all turned out to be the worst thing of all
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Saints preserve us. Foin-ally. I was be-ginnin ta' think me fair Ubercity was a ting o' ta' past.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:24:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(Congratulations Darko)
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Some people should die. That's just unconscious knowledge"
Submitted by lokee (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:23:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Does that mean Loki - the God of Chaos - is available?