Uber-Personal Ads (5834 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.67 on 229 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Davros> (View user info) at 2005-02-03 17:45:27 EST
I got to thinking while I was at work today, that Bart has missed out on an opportunity of epic proportions.
Given the numbers of Uber-couplings that are happening at the moment, I am thinking shitfuck/WiKi, Stin/SilvrWolf, Razor/Firefly (I think these were together pre-Uber, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story) and others that I know of, which may not be common knowledge (and those that I don't know of), it is surely time to set up Uber Personal Ads for the Lonely Hearts on the site.
Come on Bart, you know you want to. We can go 50/50. (OK 60/40 seeing as you will be doing all the work and I will just sit back and grab the profits).
We could charge $100 per ad, or at least claim the first born child for a life of Uber slavery, once it has been raised to 18 years.
So here is the routine.
Simply post your "Personal Ad" here. Sign up while it is still free (How could Bart resist such a tempting plan).
Here is mine.......
"Single Male 31, Borderline Alcoholic, Receding hairline, Expanding waistline, Hideously overdeveloped Right arm, Small Penis. Enjoys viewing Animal Porn and excercisng right arm. Would like to meet a female, aged 18-80 for sex, and possibly other things. But mainly, and most importantly sex, willing to pay if needed. Contact Box number *****"
So come on people, get your Ads posted.
-Dave
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Disclaimer - This is just an attempt to get something to make me smile. Shoot yourselves down as much as possible for my entertainment.
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Disclaimer 2 - Yes this is a cry for hits and a thinly veiled Ubercontest.
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Disclaimer 3 - I am not single, nor do I enjoy animal porn, nor am I willing to pay. Everything else is sadly true.
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User Reviews
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't remember reviewing this before. I shall revive it, for it has funny reviews.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-29 05:40:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dear lord
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-09 16:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-08 14:07:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-08 11:35:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave, now you have to do a post making the matches!
-----------------
Yea, because Bradradamus sucks.
-------------------------------------
I think I will leave the matchmaking to Bradradamus.
He must be doing something right to be top of the Most Heated.
Or you could do it Munkey. Match up people purely from my the ads on here.
I just don't have the time.
-Dave
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-02-09 12:28:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I probably shouldn't be doing this, but I'm jumping on the bandwagon. . .
18 year old male seeks ANY FEMALE OF ANY SPECIES!
What?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:18:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Silly, girl.
keep taking your vindictive pot shots at me all over the site while I keep doing what I always do, which is leave you, all of your comments to others, and your posts alone. You know, the opposite of how you treat me.
kisses to you, Alpha female.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-08 15:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2005-02-07 11:08:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
24 year old White Male with a deep-seated lack of humility seeks Single White Female with Red Hair who likes to say things like "Fuck Me Harder, You Cunt". Preferably when we're having dinner in a crowded restaurant..
===
Nigger, please. I never actually said that at the table. Well, not to you.
Your dad loved it though.
(P.S. Pick Circe, she's more entertaining than Mystia...)
Light the fuse, aaaaaaand......RUN AWAY!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-08 14:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-08 11:35:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave, now you have to do a post making the matches!
-----------------
Yea, because Bradradamus sucks.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-08 11:35:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave, now you have to do a post making the matches!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-08 01:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2005-02-07 11:08:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
24 year old White Male with a deep-seated lack of humility seeks Single White Female with Red Hair who likes to say things like "Fuck Me Harder, You Cunt". Preferably when we're having dinner in a crowded restaurant..
______________
We so need to talk.
Soon.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-07 23:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a 24 year old white boy with a love for beautiful women, a bitterness towards ugly women, and a problem with booze.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58975
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-02-07 22:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a single, married shy but confident, gay-straight flaming bi-curious health food junkie; I'm a well mannered, gentle, loving psychopath with high moral standards; complete abstainer - except when I get pissed. I'm a religious atheist who enjoys fasting, binge eating, yoga and contact sports; hey, my friends and I just invented a new sport = chess with body checks! (try it) I love listening to music, especially acid rock and opera; I enjoy light romantic comedies like Con-Air, Seven and Silence of the Lambs; I'm very neat and clean except when I am slobbering and drooling and frothing at the mouth. I have a small penis but am very well hung. I never fucking swear or say words like cunt or slut. Speaking of sluts, if you think you are the man-woman for me then come visit me in the Homewood Sanatorium; I'm typing this from my padded cell (only temporary) in a straight jacket with the keyboard behind me. I am very well liked and respected but can be a bit of a peckerhead at times. If you are a kind, warm hearted, intelligent and loving human being... then I recommend you stay as far away from me as possible.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-02-07 17:44:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
4'11" male dom seeks female sub. Must be under 4'8" tall and athletic with large breasts.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-07 14:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave -
I gotta say this is one of the best hit-whoring things I've ever seen, you're the man! Without further ado, here is my ad.
I'm 7'3", 120 lbs, I live in Bangor Maine, I love to play ping-pong, and masturbate ferociously everytime someone mentions something about New England sports. I have chronic acne, a terrible personality and pretty much everybody hates me. Drop me a line if you want to shake me down.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-07 12:39:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Scott! I am that gal
I have red/auburn hair down to my waist and my cats can only turn off my alarm clock, not actually tell the time.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2005-02-07 11:08:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
24 year old White Male with a deep-seated lack of humility seeks Single White Female with Red Hair who likes to say things like "Fuck Me Harder, You Cunt". Preferably when we're having dinner in a crowded restaurant..
Likes: Red hair, bad manners, and the wistful musings of Eric Cantona.
Dislikes: Cats who can tell the time
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-02-07 08:33:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single white male, 17; approx. 18.5 years projected life expectancy.
Does not drink, smoke, or have any fun. Tall but ugly. Circumsized ... a bit excessively.
Illiterate.
Favorite pastimes:
Killing stuff, burying stuff, and playing dumb.
Seeking female; breasts preferred, penis also acceptable. Low standards.
Secretly in love with a drugged out sexpot.
Goal in life:
Wishes to become lawn-fertilizer.
Submitted by Dustbrother (user info) at 2005-02-07 02:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Name: Dustbrother
Age: 768
Height: 27' 11"
Weight: 2133Lbs. 34Oz.
Turn Ons: My balls, in your face
Turn Offs: Goats
Weiner: 43"
Let the sodomizing begin.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-06 22:08:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-02-05 09:22:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
18 year old
--------------------
Ahhh, it all makes sense now.
no wonder you're such a cock, you're still a fucking fetus who finds grown women to fuck with because in real life grown women won't even look at you.
stupid kid.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-02-06 19:07:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pitifully undersexed 19-year-old male.
Hates pretty much everyone.
Pissed off that Paul McCartney is Super-Bowl-halftime-playing sellout who hasn't had a good song since "Maybe I'm Amazed".
Good table tennis player.
Lovingly remembers "Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist", which was on Comedy Central up until about five years ago.
Thinks that "Scarface" is horribly overrated and that Stanley Kubrick's movies are all great.
Probably hates whatever music you listen to.
Barely an ounce of fat on my body. Even less muscle.
Talk to PinballVVizard21 (Two V's make the W), but expect to be ignored.
Submitted by ariseymour (user info) at 2005-02-06 15:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm amazed how many other people here are into BDSM. Who wants to tie me up and torture me? Go on, you know you want to really.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-02-06 14:36:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe I'm too late to play along.
Single female 20. Dark brown hair, blue eyes, 5'nothin, can be placed in smallish box and shipped to any location if paid for, enjoys restraints, sharing porn collections and getting nagged about not being romantic enough. Frustrated with whiny men, will accept female offers if drunk enough.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-06 14:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hereby declare this my most successful post EVAR!!!!!!!!.
-Dave
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-06 13:50:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave..You have provided me so many laughs from this awesome post.
Well done my friend.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-06 12:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just found out someone beat you to this. Amazing how badly he was flamed... Guess he fucked up and never asked others to post their own ad. http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1071101580833024987
Submitted by PhiTappaAss (user info) at 2005-02-06 10:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Asian female.
I lika the white mens.....
=-P
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-06 04:50:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:23:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want Rawrg. Have him washed and bring him to me.
----
Be careful what you wish for. I'll have any woman who'll have me and I don't go away after you dispose of me. I leave nasty messages of angst ridden scorn and drive by your house 2 or 3 times a night.
On the all in all though, I cook and I "can" clean in leather pants. My man-bulge would be sufficient for most female audiences. I've got a few extra pounds on me, but since you want a submissive man, that just means that you can starve me longer to prolong your fantasy.
...
Call me? AIM: siezehim
Submitted by jayjonze (user info) at 2005-02-05 23:32:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-05 23:27:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
you can whip me, slap me, make me write out bad checks.
slap my ass and call me sally..
just dont make me dust. i hate dusting.
--------------------------------
Yesss I have found the one for me, That was easy...Thank you Uber!!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-05 23:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you can whip me, slap me, make me write out bad checks.
slap my ass and call me sally..
just dont make me dust. i hate dusting.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-05 23:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jayjonze (user info) at 2005-02-05 23:19:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Single white male seeks doormat type woman to cook, clean and take my bullshit all day and night. I would prefer dirty whore who doesn't mind if I just spit on it and throw it in her when I feel like it. Mute women and those with low self esteem are encouraged to apply...
---------------------
I don't know about the spitting part...
Submitted by jayjonze (user info) at 2005-02-05 23:19:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single white male seeks doormat type woman to cook, clean and take my bullshit all day and night. I would prefer dirty whore who doesn't mind if I just spit on it and throw it in her when I feel like it. Mute women and those with low self esteem are encouraged to apply...
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-02-05 22:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
S W M 18 Texas
contact me at yellow_man832002.at.yahoo.com ;)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-05 19:57:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAAHAHA
thanks rad. if shlongy were not married to mrs shlongy i'd be all over that.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-05 19:34:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Munkey, I have the man for you.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?user_id=10879
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-05 19:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
26 SWF - looking for 52 year old man with smokers cough, a pock marked face,
and a heinous gas problem.
It would be ideal if he had an overgorwn lawn with 3 broken down tractors
hiding on the side lawn.
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2005-02-05 18:47:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
single, white , female 25 years old. Seeking replacement. I don't want to talk about your feelings, meet your family, be committed or cultivate something deep. Wanna go out and get drunk, maybe make out, I am down. Feel like drinking a bottle of tequila and getting crazy I'm your girl. Snuggling is cool too but not too much.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-02-05 18:20:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
20/m/South Carolina.
Holla at a playa.
sideburnsiam.at.aol.com
Submitted by spader (user info) at 2005-02-05 17:15:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Male from Rocky planet similar to your Earth
Undeterminate age
Ultra Buff torso
Stunning dude hair
Penis girth of mammoth proportions
seven foot 3 inches tall
Likes: Punching vagina's and hurting the environment
Dislikes: Not punching dogs and arrogant people
favorite website: http://captainfoamy.com
favorite band: Bob Sagat's Sodomy Orchestra
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-05 15:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single White Male.
25.
300 pounds.
Makes you laugh.
Loves to chatter.
Has HUGE cock.
Looking for something.
Anything.
Seriously.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-02-05 15:08:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-02-05 12:45:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, JMG, you haven't exactly had the best of luck with this type of thing...
-----------------------------------
Hence my aforementioned "mental stability preferred" qualifier. Haven't seen you around in a while.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-02-05 14:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-03 17:59:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is mine
Single Girl 30. Loves big wiener. Enjoys vodka and tequila.
----------------------------------------------------------
Single Male, 17. Has big wiener. Enjoys vodka and tequila.
Perfect match except i'm half your age. *cough* pull a Jackson and rob the cradle!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-05 14:41:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you swallow knob on the first date?
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2005-02-05 14:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok here goes. 24 single female from Baltimore MD. I enjoy going out and walking around and stuff. Well screw it I dont feel like writing it. So if you want to know more about me call me at 443-253-4899.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-05 13:16:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-02-05 12:45:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, JMG, you haven't exactly had the best of luck with this type of thing...
exactly my thoughts. haha.
hey Anansie, where the fuck have you been woman?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-02-05 12:45:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, JMG, you haven't exactly had the best of luck with this type of thing...
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-02-05 12:37:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
JMG - 25 SWM. Enjoys movies, intellectual discourse, and storytelling. Hopeless romantic who breaks into dance at random. ISO 23-32y/o SWF for long drives, discussions over chai, and visits to New England craft villages. Mental stability preferred.
Submitted by TheJedi (user info) at 2005-02-05 11:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny reponses!!!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-02-05 10:46:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read the responses, but this made me laugh.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-05 10:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Incidentally- Circe, I'll be willing to trade, but only if I get his gear and equipment as well. I want him to be as comfortable as possible before, you know, I Do Things To Him.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-05 10:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie - She's right you know. Finish it. Or I'll help her hunt you down and torture puppies in front of you.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-05 10:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ummmmmm... I dedicated an entire post to it.
Ok, so the post was asking what the hell it was called because all I could remember was how much ass it kicked, but still. I need more. I NEED IT!
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2005-02-05 10:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
single canadian male looking for 2 bi women with bad eyesight. No smokers.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-02-05 10:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are people still interested in that? I figured nobody cared by now. Well, shit. Okay, okay. I'll work on it. I have writerr's block, though. I'll try to overcome it and meet the demands of my adoring public. Uh... well, my slightly fond public. And by public I mean five people and one of them's my mommy.
Dammit.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-05 10:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie? FINISH YOUR DAMN STORY! No, really. It's one of the best things I've read on Ubersite EVER and I don't like being left all hanging. Pleeeeeeeease?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-02-05 10:01:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Attached White Female, searching for someone who loves the little things in life, like hugs, cute little dogs in sweaters (aren't they just DARLING), dandelion farts, and that warm, fuzzy, slightly runny feeling you get when someone drills a hole in your left frontal lobe with a corkscrew.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-02-05 09:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, you guys are fucking hilarious.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-02-05 09:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
18 year old SWM 5'10" 205lbs. Loves to watch movies and cuddle. Going down on girls is a personal pastime. Cruise with me through the highways of Nevada, doing cocaine off of the dashboard. We'll listen to The Eagles whilst killing hookers with a tire-iron, then we'll bury them out in the desert somewhere.
meantee.at.gmail.com
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-02-05 08:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SWF looking 4 someone nice. I'm a fun-loving girl who loves 2 have fun. We can take walks on the beach, party, whatever u want to do I'm down w/it. People tell me I have a nice smile.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-02-05 05:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am also currently accepting applications from any sisters or mothers of people I know.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-05 01:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 22:42:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Right. I get EbolaMay also.
__________
But he'd look so good in my collection...
I'll trade you. I have a guy in the stables right now; 6'4, built like a brick shithouse, who will fuck like an animal BUT cries helplessly at the words "bucket", "phone", and "kitten".
A lot of Pavlovian technique training went into this one.
Submitted by Doneupandin (user info) at 2005-02-05 01:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. hates anyone with a Mystia or a Moon in her name.
Submitted by Doneupandin (user info) at 2005-02-05 01:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
24 year old, 6'2, pimp-a-luscious muthafucka with a nice complexion. Green eyes, blonde hair, and well built, although I have a small pouch in the lower portion of my six pack. College grad, makes over 50 a year and does not like whiney bitches. Serious inquires only! (medium-large pecker, depending on the temperature).
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-02-04 23:43:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Might as well.
Physical: White male, 20 years old. 5'11'', 125 lbs. Brown hair, brown eyes.
Spiritual: A blend of Christianity, modern science, and spiritualism.
Education: Aiming for M.S. or Ph.D. in computer science, completing B.S. this year.
Location: Bowling Green, KY
If you like profoundly intellectual, subtly emotional and cultured, sophisticated men, consider the Midnight. Tall, dark and sinister.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 22:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right. I get EbolaMay also.
Submitted by Mr.JackassFrost (user info) at 2005-02-04 21:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hello.
My name is Jack Frost and I am an alcholic.
Oh wait, shit wrong meeting.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-02-04 21:23:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
36 yr old male. Widowed. Divorced. Desperate. Alcoholic. Going bankrupt. Homeless. Recently got a DUI. Suffering from low grade strain of Ebola virus contracted in Brazil as a result of homosexual monkey encounters. Will take another 2 years to die.
6'2", brn hair/eyes. Enjoys candlelight castration, hog-tying cockroaches, and being emotionally, spiritually and physically crushed by love partners.
Seeking.........uh...........
anyone.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rating: 1.62 on 162 reviews (Rate this item) (View all ratings)
Submitted by <Davros> (View user info) at 2005-02-03 17:45:27
-------------------------------------------------------
I sense acorrelation between the rating and the number of reviews.
-Dave
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:30:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It shall be done.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:23:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want Rawrg. Have him washed and bring him to me.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:17:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single White Male looking for intelligent woman. I don't want to date you, I just want to check you off of my list of things I want to see before I die. You're right between a leprechaun that grants wishes and a gun that only kills stupid people.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:09:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought I was one of the half dozen women who watch!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:07:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, it's actually what floats Circe's boat. But who's really counting? Anyway, point is, you just said that you'd fuck a male lesbian if he was a girl. Go sit in a corner and think about that for a while.
YOUR HANDS MUST REMAIN VISIBLE AND NOT ON YOUR PENIS FOR THE DURATION OF YOUR CORNER-SITTING.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:06:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lady Plural, you don't meet ANY of my stringent requirements. If you want me to be part of the clusterfuck you better get one of the menz to be my half naked housecleaning humiliation slave boy.
Or you can get in the crossdressing action and pretend to be a man...
...
...
Oh that is so fucking hot...
I need some alone time.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I had meant Eddy, but if that's what floats your boat.
So anyway, we've kinda strayed from the point. But I doubt Davros minds. A few extra +2s, more hits and more time on the MRR shouldn't hurt, hehe.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*I* can? Hang on a minute... Circe, come here for a moment. Bring those shoes with you.
*Noises*
Oh my gawd, you're SO right.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That wa smy point, except he's defrauding everyone, trying to pass off as a woman. "Male lesbian" would we!?! Well, you can shove that oversized stilleto where the sun shineth not (because the penis is blocking the light).
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:54:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Only if you're a purist.
Anyway, I hear he dresses like one sometimes, so you're pretty much good to go, right?
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd take Eddie if he were a chick. Up the wrong 'un!
Which kinda defeats the purpose.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:47:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right. So I'll take sebcharrot, stardamage, ETS, GLALL, and Circe.
Oh, and Eddie Izzard, of course.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:38:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
17 year old male, white when washed, brown hair. Enjoys tap-dancing on slate rooves and howling at half-moons. Will learn to wear clothes for right woman (or suitably effeminate man), unless that's not your thing. Slight limp from last night when I banged your mother, she kicks like a mule. And smells like one; I like that in a woman.
Or suitably effeminate man.
Not gay, but will be for food. Enjoys long walks on the beech, and even the oak.
Looking for an owner, doesn't pee anywhere where it can be cleaned easily.
Free, or nearest offer.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:37:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drum roll, please........
24 years of age, 6'4", greatest guitar player of all time. Dead end career with a national restaurant that consumes my soul every day! That doesn't matter, though, because I'm really not offering that part of me up anyway. Physical pleasure a must, be prepared to stimulate me mentally or I will jab pencils into your ears every few seconds to help you remove the "brain fuzz". Must be willing to take a 1,000 mile long trip with me to TP the White House to see if Bush will try to create a Patriot Act p.2. then, just for kicks, we'll add a 6th outer wall to the Pentagon. Won't THAT fuck with their heads......
Oh, yeah... and your name on uber has to be Manda. Because she's now my woman. ( see what a cave and a club can do for you?)
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:24:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Six-foot-three male w/ bad habits looks for female taller than five-foot-eight. Must tolerate anything, including racist, sexist comments. Must be hot.
/never gonna happen
Submitted by Worm (user info) at 2005-02-04 19:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"One big ass white-boy" (that's what Tyrel calls me).
Nicknames: Gigantor, Jeffrey-bot, Collosal, B.I.Jeff, Big Bird, Radio Shack (1/3 for being a nerd, 1/3 for being tall, and 1/3 from the ladies who have been lucky enough to see me without my clothes on...).
Vitals: 6'6", 235 lbs, and "Pepsi Can"
.
In my spare time I enjoy: handjobs, oral sex, regular sex, tea bags, and finding creative ways to apply astro-glide to a hot-and-bothered woman.
I also tend to: play sports, talk politicsplay computer games, and get emails/phone calls from ex-girlfriends who just want to "get fucked tonight"-
"Bitch, I'm playing World of Warcraft. When was the last time you got my Undead mage up to level 34 with a badass Crescent Staff that give +7 to Stamina, Spirit, and Intelligence? That's right, bitch, never.
World of Warcraft: 1, You: 0".
~~~~~
Plus I can tell you all about stress, fatigue, and failure. I'm in Mechanical Engineering! (Those are all properties of materials under loads...god that was a horrible joke. I'm gonna shut up now.)
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-04 18:29:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, let me see.....
25 year old drunkard, seeks koala for fun times and facials.
Yep, that about covers it.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 17:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
stardamage, that is SO a deal. While we're in the upper Europe area, we shall kidnap Eddie Izzard and force him to engage in shenanigans with ETS while we watch. And Boondock Saints will be playing in the background.
IT WILL BE GLORIOUS!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-04 17:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-02-04 16:57:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi, I'm drunk.
----------------------------------
Best Ad EVAR!!!!!!!
-Dave
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-02-04 16:57:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi, I'm drunk.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-04 16:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whoever said it, baked doritos bbq KICK SO MUCH FUCKING ASS ITS INSANE!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:54:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone call me while I venture to Indiana this evening!
jonesy0987.at.hotmail.com
IF ANYONE ACTUALLY CALLS ME I WILL BE FORCED TO YELL INCOHERENTLY INTO THE PHONE FOR FIVE SECONDS BEFORE I HANG UP. Swear to god.
yeah i know that's my e-mail. Confused? That's how I roll.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:53:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Another thank you for finally pushing me over the fabled 20000 hits mark.
It only took me 11 months to get there.
Maybe I should post some "Chris Evans"-esque posts. That guy got to 20000 in about 3 days :sigh:
-Dave
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55577 His post about leaving answering machine messages
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:25:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-04 08:57:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
251-975-7027 Please call me
-----------------
no answer
======================================
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58583#1117389
DanielH was kind enough to post his REAL Phone number for everyone to call him
Do IT!
DO IT NOW
Submitted by Megso (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:45:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
24 year old female, 5'10, 128 lbs (with towel), looks great in clothes, insecure about tummy when exposed. Great teeth but bad lousy hair. Looks hot while dancing in mirror. On cocktail of antidepressants, which make for insanely cheap drunk - well, the possibility of being a cheap drunk, if not encouraged.
Suspected gluten intolerance, allergic to bees and wasps.
Loves: sushi, Simpsons, sleeping, lilies, and a good challenge.
I do not drive.
Interested in big(gish) guys to really throw me around (no marks on the face or neck) or gentle, pale girls with dark hair and bangs. Freckles okay. Would also consider a young Jewish gentleman, 18-22...
Equal Opportunity Employer - All Inquires to notoneofthem.at.gmail.com
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow I got major heat.
Thanks guys and gals.
Bob - England is pretty shitty. Wet and cold mainly.But otherwise life is not too bad.
Thanks for initiating the drive for heat.
Shlongy - Glad you are getting some interest but please note "Uber-Personals accepts no responsibility for bad dates, chicks who are really guys or marriage breakdowns".
To everyone else - Thankyou again.
------------------------------------------------
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:35:18 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:20:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, I'm of Irish descent. Black hair, hazel eyes, pale skin. I burn like nothing else when I'm out in the sun for too long. I can tan if I'm careful.
I also adore Eddie Izzard and the Boondock Saints.
-------------------
Eddie Izzard is a GOD! Definitely one of my all time favorite comics... His shows 'Glorious' and 'Definite Article' are much overlooked genius. Fuck, after that comment, I almost want to date you. Tell me you love Belle & Sebastian with equal fervor, and I'll be your slave.
(but not really)
------------------------------------------
2 B&S fans on here, three if you include me.
I have a couple of bootlegs if you guys are interested and would be interested in any you have.
If you feel like it mail me and we can sort something out.
davros1973.at.hotmail.com
-Dave
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:39:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Get a pair of oars, ya pussy!
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:32:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't need to get laid, but I do need a decent 80hp outboard motor, and a boat trailer for a 17'5 Zodiac. WESTCOAST, will pick up or arrange for delivery. Thanks.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another Plus 2 for the Beatles.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
21 year old male, english and film major, currently working toward an NYU transfer sometime next year. Has history of substance abuse and self-destructive tendencies, terrible drunk, and most likely mentally disturbed. Inconsistent, mentally abusive towards others, and multiple other things that I won't even BEGAN to talk about.
Ohh, but I read constantly and have a fetish for beaches!! Who wants some??
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:30:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WANTED: SCAT queen to shit in my mouth, and smear feces on my balls while I piss on your back
MUST be good looking and clean... no fatties.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:25:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-04 08:57:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
251-975-7027 Please call me
-----------------
no answer
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:07:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
24, single whitish male. hazel, eyes 6', 180lbs. from the Land of Enchantment. American. Conservative. Electrical Engineer. Likes wine, camping, hiking, traveling, cooking and good food. Non-smoker. If you're not down with JC, please don't respond.
jesseisquite.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-02-04 14:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-04 14:20:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
here's my ad:
someone please have sex with me.
-------------
Found my match
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-02-04 14:33:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally!!
21 small and blonde. Female. Needs someone for those long and lonely nights. Must enjoy spankings and Baked! Doritos.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-04 14:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
here's my ad:
someone please have sex with me.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-04 13:51:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1107543038509015982
The Psychic Matchmaker Hotline is now open for business.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-04 12:26:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
""Eddie Izzard is a GOD! "
So true. He's my all time favorite.
I've seen Dressed To Kill at least 30 times and It's always just as funny everytime.
My ad is wayyyyyyyyyy down there but I forgot my email it's
mystiamoon.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-04 11:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-04 11:04:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Eddie Izzard is a GOD! Definitely one of my all time favorite comics... His shows 'Glorious' and 'Definite Article' are much overlooked genius. Fuck, after that comment, I almost want to date you. Tell me you love Belle & Sebastian with equal fervor, and I'll be your slave.
(but not really)"
----------------------------
My favorite show of his so far is Dress to Kill, but I also own Glorious. Everyone looks at me funny when I try to describe his genius, but when I make them watch it they also love it. Which I think is the way I'd like to be myself.
And! Belle and Sebastian are absolutely marvelous. I love "Dear Catastrophe Waitress" and "Tigermilk". Ever heard of Sondre Lerche, or Gorky's Zygotic Mynci, or the Radio Dept., or Of Montreal? I'd suggest trying those out if you like Belle and Sebastian. I mean, I like them. Uh.
-------------------
I'll have to try and check some of those out.
Yea, Dress to Kill's genius goes without saying. "Cake or Death?"
I was trying to avoid the obvious. If you haven't seen 'Definite Article' you have GOT to see it. It's a toos-up, but I think it's my favorite show of his... I think I need to start an Eddie Izzard fan club. It would be HUGE! Everyone I ever meet who even so much as knows about Eddie Izzard is a fan, and we connect immediately, so an online dating service based around Eddie Izzard only makes sense.
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-04 11:53:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
White male, 23, chinky eyes, brown spiky hair, as WASPy in complexion as they fucking come
in to: herbal refreshment, gentelman jack whiskey. plays drums. sings. has unhealthy obsession with chee-tos.
favorite move: "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" favorite book: "Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas" by Tom Robbins favorite band: Clutch favorite TV show: "The Upright Citizens Brigade" (long since cancelled)
turn ons - light s+m, cute eyes + smile, freckles, dirtyness, public places, punks/goths/metalheads/indie chicks/dorks/nerds, humor, hornballs, uncommon backrubs, skeet shooting
turn offs - pop music, trance, country, exteme fatties, wonderwalls, sororities, stupidity, midget tossing
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-04 11:34:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm up to SIX e-mail responses...and there's some funny stuff that I'm tempted to share here.
Online "dating" rules!
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-04 11:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd marry you, LadyPlural, but we'd have to move to Sweden or something so it'd be legal. Okay with you? :)
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 11:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
stardamage, I think I'm in love.
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-04 11:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Eddie Izzard is a GOD! Definitely one of my all time favorite comics... His shows 'Glorious' and 'Definite Article' are much overlooked genius. Fuck, after that comment, I almost want to date you. Tell me you love Belle & Sebastian with equal fervor, and I'll be your slave.
(but not really)"
----------------------------
My favorite show of his so far is Dress to Kill, but I also own Glorious. Everyone looks at me funny when I try to describe his genius, but when I make them watch it they also love it. Which I think is the way I'd like to be myself.
And! Belle and Sebastian are absolutely marvelous. I love "Dear Catastrophe Waitress" and "Tigermilk". Ever heard of Sondre Lerche, or Gorky's Zygotic Mynci, or the Radio Dept., or Of Montreal? I'd suggest trying those out if you like Belle and Sebastian. I mean, I like them. Uh.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-02-04 10:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single White male - 25. Likes to capitalise the words "Single" and "White" but not "Male" because it makes me feel embarassed. One time member of the band "Johnny 5 and the Short Circuits" but same was disbanded after the failure of 'Short Circuit 2' in theatres. I enjoy Holding hands for long periods of time, and by 'holding hands' I mean putting my penis into a vagina. If you're open minded and don't have anything against STDs that cause itch, then give me shout, and we can go to an ice cream social or something along those lines.
P.S. My penis is nicknamed "The Viper 3000"
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-04 10:25:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-02-04 09:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-02-04 09:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I am a 14 year old girl from Wisconsin.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-04 09:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-04 08:13:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:25:39 (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah, because who could ever conceive of going out in real life rather than flirting aimlessly on a website?
______________________________________________
AJ is still pissed he didn't get any pussy at Ubercon. Fag.
***
Lee, if I were pissed about not getting pussy that would sort of make it impossible to be a fag, now wouldn't it?
You're such a fucking douche.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-04 09:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:36:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
MWM 25-44, nicknamed "Elephant Cock", into sunsets, reverse cowgirl, Cialis, single malt scotch, gambling, golf, watching TV while giving and receiving head; loves cheeseburgs and Cheez-Its, extremely clean- even vacumns, and shaves his nuts. Looking for broad that's breathing, 18-54 for fun and games. Must like to "LTC", not adverse to being by yourself while I roam. Oh, and mustn't mind that my very hot wife with the fake rack might be around from time to time. She doesn't mind. She has like 12 credit cards with my name on them. E-mail me at "nolan.at.baseballwriter.net". No fatties. Unless we're talking blow.
----
I think I am in love!!!
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-02-04 09:31:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MWPM seeks mate with all limbs.
I like eating mayonnaise filled taco shells in a spring rain, warming my hands at a barrel fire then slashing the faces of the hobos who started it. If you are a redhead who enjoys public humiliation and being smothered to the point of unconsciousness with a hairy armpit leave your legal street address and social security # in message box: 54321. Only single disease drug free need apply.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-04 08:57:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
251-975-7027 Please call me
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-04 08:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:25:39 (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah, because who could ever conceive of going out in real life rather than flirting aimlessly on a website?
______________________________________________
AJ is still pissed he didn't get any pussy at Ubercon. Fag.
All my info is here on this post -----> http://www.ubersite.com/m/42032
Sorry ladies and ghey menz...and AJ. I'm takin'. No Donkey cock for you.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-02-04 08:10:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoy eating applesauce.
Yeah.
Um.
And I like girls. If they like me.
Yeah.
Um.
Thanks.
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-02-04 08:00:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Female, 25, White/Irish/English/Welsh (only a tiny bit... honest... the sheep genes are well diluted by now) seeks similar, willing to pay university tuition fees and expenses for the foreseeable future without complaint. Must like the colour purple, chocolate, and endless reruns of Top Gear but despise football, and have an unlimited credit account with Boden and the Next Directory.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-02-04 07:53:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
21/M/UK, likes the idea of a 5 dimensional world, dislikes anyone who says there's only 4.
Likes taking illegal substances.
Submitted by Auron (user info) at 2005-02-04 05:40:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
White male from the UK.
20, Lunatic.
Likes
Anime, Tae-Kwon Do, Kendo, Sword collecting, Fighting with arch nemisis on a daily basis, taking illegal substances.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-04 04:18:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you've gotta be kidding - there's a queue of hopefuls waiting for me outside as it is......
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-02-04 04:03:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58418
I have a vacancy.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-02-04 03:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you allowed to fib?
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2005-02-04 02:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SBM 27, 6'2"........yep that should do it.
-Black Ninja
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-04 01:56:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, that was # 100 wasn't it?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-04 01:55:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is more interesting than some of the other shit on the most heated list.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-02-04 01:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i haven't met anyone here, but I want to see this reach a hundred reviews.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww, fuck it, +2.
I met someone I dig quite a bit on uber too, I won't lie. I hope to meet her soon.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:20:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, I'm of Irish descent. Black hair, hazel eyes, pale skin. I burn like nothing else when I'm out in the sun for too long. I can tan if I'm careful.
I also adore Eddie Izzard and the Boondock Saints.
-------------------
Eddie Izzard is a GOD! Definitely one of my all time favorite comics... His shows 'Glorious' and 'Definite Article' are much overlooked genius. Fuck, after that comment, I almost want to date you. Tell me you love Belle & Sebastian with equal fervor, and I'll be your slave.
(but not really)
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:34:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Divorced 22 year old white male seeking a vagina to insert my manhood into. Race, color, cred or size DOES NOT matter. I don't discriminate.
Enjoys scotch, poetry, Heavy Metal, and Venison with hot mustard (preferably served on the stomach of a hooker).
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:30:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who the hell would? I mean, really. Come on. Real life is all... scary. This is insulated and safe(r) feeling.
I was only joking. Please excuse me if I in any way annoyed or offended you.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:25:39 (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah, because who could ever conceive of going out in real life rather than flirting aimlessly on a website?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah, because who could ever conceive of going out in real life rather than flirting aimlessly on a website?
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean that in the absolutely nicest way possible, of course.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-04 00:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AJ is merely bitter because these ads sound too close to his actual love life.
Or lack therof.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:55:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drooling works for me :)
Cursing fluently is a good skill to have! I just tend to mutter something along the lines of, "Oh yeah? I'll show you, you make-up squirrel!" and run away before the absolute lunacy of what I just said can sink in.
Good times.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lalalalala.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, what the hell. Most heated...
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
stardamage- I think I just drooled a bit.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 22:11:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
come on damnit, most heated!
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:42:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to assume you're talking to me, bob.
I do indeed!
It is: discarnatesong
I have a terrible habit of sometimes forgetting to put an away message up when I'm at class or something, though, so if you try to talk to me and I'm not responding, I'm probably at class hating life and not intending to ignore you.
Okay!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
you have an aim?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:32:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single Male, 15, 5-5, doesn't do anything athletic, reads and plays bass, moderate looking, kinda chubby, over developed right arm, Objectivist, spends way too much time on the computer, is currently failing Grade Nine math for the second time, but doing extremely well in Grade Ten Gifted English, can not stand animals, hippis, most females, teachers, other teenagers, or bus drivers, and not interested in becoming not single.
Aren't I a catch?
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Think about what you just said, bob, and then think about this:
I posted a want ad on Ubersite.
Okay?
:)
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha. getting desperate star?
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, I'm of Irish descent. Black hair, hazel eyes, pale skin. I burn like nothing else when I'm out in the sun for too long. I can tan if I'm careful.
I also adore Eddie Izzard and the Boondock Saints.
Submitted by Jonnypoopoopants (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:18:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
19 year old single white male from Seattle. Can outdrink anyone, wishes people would quit telling him how much he looks like Matt Damon. Lean, muscular build, known most commonly as "that kid from the party." Lives in an apartment with an awesome view of Seattle from the roof. German-Hungarian-English. Approx. 6".
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i dont think ive ever seen Davros on the most heated.
lets get there, shall we?
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
single white male 22...likes women..thats about it......
AIM - Unsavory13
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
not enough NYers on uber damnit!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:07:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey davros, hows England now a days?
haha.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:00:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ROFLNATION, LOLERSKATES!!!1!
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:59:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nope, it's actually Colleen.
Bob, great minds think alike OMGWTF!!
(It happens to the best of us.)
:)
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't have an accent. I pronounce all of my 'r's. And I'm damn proud of it.
Is her name Maggie?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:55:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
not to bad myself. and you?
(damn you, i was going to say that. bastard! now i have nothing witty to say!)
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of my good friends is from Plymouth, Manda. Do you have an extreme accent, too?
I only have a slight one.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:54:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've already received FIVE emails! Yippee!
I think two of them are even from broads!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:53:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to be in NY next fall for college. (yay!)
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:53:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well hello, Bob!
...how YOU doin'?
*tries to leer but instead probably makes a stupid face*
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:52:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha. ouch chubby. that hurts. deep down.
anyone, NY anyone? Im confined to NY until i go to college, most likely in NE.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:49:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course!
I live in Plymouth.
Bob, if you can throw in a few 'eh's and if you're a bit on the chubby side, we can make some arrangements.
AIM: Manders1709.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:46:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey stardamage, how you doin?
sorry manda, i enjoy all of those things but alas, not canadian.
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:45:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I live in the extreme southwest corner. You're a Masshole, too?
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:44:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where in Massachusetts, stardamage?
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:42:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single white American female, 18 years old, college freshman who lives in Massachusetts when not at school in Vermont. Sharp, sarcastic tongue that I mostly keep in check. High intelligence but a weird obsession with epics and Iceland. I like realy weird music and don't watch television. I am the only girl I know who likes video games. Lightweight drinker.
Seeking male who realizes that when I say weird things I'm mostly joking, and who can put up with my extreme passive-aggression.
Heh.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Attached white female, 18. Slight exhibitionist, raging hormones, looking for Canadian (or at least someone that can act like a Canadian) male or female to participate in threesome. Must enjoy sex and chocolate chip cookies. Virgins also welcome to apply. Clean record preferred. Must have own car and be willing to loan it to me for extended periods of time.
...Maybe I ask for too much.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single White Male, 19- Freshman at Ohio University. Self-proclaimed indie kid. Also extremely sarcastic and creative. I'd like to think that I also have an above-average intelligence. 6 ft tall, 150 lbs, seeks female who is exactly the same as me, except in female form.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:29:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilton Head Island, SC.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:28:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single white male, 17. Whiny Bitch. Based on current estimates, should lose virginity by 28. Enjoy Ubersite, tofu salad and watching Seinfeld. Bite me.
On another note, can you imagine how fucking much that bass drum in the pic would be worth today? Does anyone know what happened to it?
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:15:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I killed a man, once.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
where do you live now, shlongy?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I lived in Rochester for 37 years...Rochester, NY. The good Rochester.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:07:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mystia, i thought you lived in NY?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:59:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I lived in Westland and South Redford as a kid. I live in Rochester now. Traffic blows up here.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:54:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MANICMOTHER, it is considered poor form to camp out on a post and not give it +2's if that is what you feel it deserved. Every review 'counts'. Just fyi...
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I grew up in Garden City. I've lived in Livonia and Westland as well.
I currently reside in the outskirts of Romulus, the school and post are actually Van Buren township but my address says Romulus.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:39:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bad ass Mystia, which 'burb?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:19:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess my ad worked- That trailer park wench in Detroit wants my heads.
---------------------------
I don't want the rest of the horseshit attached to it, Shlongy.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:33:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't need to write an ad since I'm VERY happily taken.
Have a +2 for making me laugh with your post and these replies.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:32:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes she does, a Detroit suburb anyway.
I have a newer manufactured home thats over 2000 sq feet but idiots like to call them trailers, even though they aren't even close to what i consider a trailer. i have 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths with a jacuzzi, glass cabinets in my huge kitchen...etc....my so called trailer blows away all of my friends houses and apartments in both space and interiors.
in short
i'm trailer trash and proud i guess!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "black in the pants" I picture a guy pointing at his crotch and nodding when I read that.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mystia lives in Detroit?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:25:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SWM 16-18 of age. (looking to have his cherry popped) 5'10" 180 or so. above average south pole and intelligence, 158 IQ, funny, light drinker, rare smoker, doesnt jerk off, clean with ok manners, upper middle class, enjoys: cooking, movies, video games, baseball, football, likes to laugh at completely random things in life, no criminal record. curses profusely and speaks french.
seeking single female 16-20yrs of age of european, asian, south american or middle eastern decent (no black chicks), prefers brunettes or red heads with atleast C cups, prefers a little meat than anorexic but no fatties, can break out laughing at random times, can carry on an intelligent conversation, no uptight pricks/japs/valley girls.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's ANOTHER trailer park trash chick in the Detroit area?
Good grief.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:20:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:19:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess my ad worked- That trailer park wench in Detroit wants my heads.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No I don't !
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
17 male. very serious soccer player. i'm definitly not black, although i've been told that i'm black in the pants, whatever that means. probably has something to do with the fact that black men have large peni [is that penis plural?] i have redneck roots--my uncle won the quinto and spent 10g of it rebuilding a trailer--there's 1500 people in my town...i guess i'm a redneck also...
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:19:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SWM 23, fit with nice smile, seeks SWF 18-35 with big jugs to suck it. I also enjoy steak, beer, football, and big blocks.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:19:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess my ad worked- That trailer park wench in Detroit wants my heads.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:12:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MWF Into disection, leather and using carpet tacks to nail thoes troublesome scrotems to the living room wall. Willing to trade oral sex for any vital part of Shlongy's anatomy.
1. Must be VITAL sections only, I will make exceptions for any parts involving procreation.
2. Pack in dry ice and send UPS to Detroit.
Best or most vital organ wins the best sucking or licking of your life.
Customer satisfaction Guarenteed
Bonus anal raping for me if you send me his head, either of them.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:09:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:05:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
**UPDATE** I'm no longer a redhead. I have the blach on my head as we speak. BLONDE CITY HERE I COME! WOO!
----------------------------
Is this because of my ad? Sellout.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
**UPDATE** I'm no longer a redhead. I have the blach on my head as we speak. BLONDE CITY HERE I COME! WOO!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:02:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:59:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Female, 25, seeks male for light housework and cooking. Must be willing to vacuum my floors in tight leather pants and clean the shower recess with his tongue while I degrade him verbally and kick him sporadically. Must be willing and able to stand in the center of the living room and jack off for the entertainment of two dozen women who are all calling him Daddy.
I need him to be able to satisfy every single one of my perverse sexual needs, up to and including dressing him as Huck Finn and making him "stow the gear in Mama's raft, big boy."
GSOH, NS, SD preferred
-------------------------------------
This review worries me because I sense you are being honest.
SCARY, in a kind of nice way.
-Dave
Submitted by ariseymour (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:59:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SWM, 19, recovering alcoholic, nicotine and weed addict, part-time depressed engineering student (rest of the time - happy engineering student).
P.S., loves to lick. If you know what I mean.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:59:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Female, 25, seeks male for light housework and cooking. Must be willing to vacuum my floors in tight leather pants and clean the shower recess with his tongue while I degrade him verbally and kick him sporadically. Must be willing and able to stand in the center of the living room and jack off for the entertainment of two dozen women who are all calling him Daddy.
I need him to be able to satisfy every single one of my perverse sexual needs, up to and including dressing him as Huck Finn and making him "stow the gear in Mama's raft, big boy."
GSOH, NS, SD preferred
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:56:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single, Male, 26, loves scented candles, taking long walks by the beach, writing poetry, cooking, cleaning, slow-dancing, clubbing baby seals to death, S & M, knife throwing, faeces.
Also the inventor of gravity and a compulsive liar.
Would like to meet woman with similar interests and hobbies. Non-smoker preferred.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Testimonial (in pseudo-cheery voice from blonde with big knockers [NB therefore not me]):-
"You should try it! It worked for me...
All you need is ETS, who offers an excellent personal matchmaking service, or alternatively throw open the doors and let Uber in! Hell, even open your legs and let Uber in!
Uber; your one-stop dating hotspot!!!!lol!!oneone1!"
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:53:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SWM 19 years old
If you weigh less than 125 lbs and have a vagina, I'll dry-rape you in the ass until your rectum tears so that I can use your blood for lube.
I also enjoy puppies
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:39:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
so does the best one get a prize?
mine was fly and funky fresh and ya know it!
--------------------------------
I think they may mysti.
I could go the regular route of offering +2's for 77 of your posts, but I might actually decide to do something real.
I didn't think this would get 10 reviews in a month let alone in an hour, (this may be more but I am drunk and can't remember), so I should offer something up.
--------------------------------
Thank you to you all for making me smile.
-Dave
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:43:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single white 43 year old male, 6" heavily tattooed with own teeth (fastidious about oral hygene).
Can teach you how to.
Fuck, Fight
Push a pram
and ride a bike
Click on link to veiw what i seek http://www.ubersite.com/m/51875
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-03 17:59:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is mine
Single Girl 30. Loves big wiener. Enjoys vodka and tequila.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you lying about your age? There is no way that you look even close to 30, judging from the UberDirectory post.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:39:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so does the best one get a prize?
mine was fly and funky fresh and ya know it!
in other news, my neighbor is bringing me over some Ny-Quil.
nothing like having a cold, then feeling drunk with a cold, then passing out all in just 10 minutes.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MWM 25-44, nicknamed "Elephant Cock", into sunsets, reverse cowgirl, Cialis, single malt scotch, gambling, golf, watching TV while giving and receiving head; loves cheeseburgs and Cheez-Its, extremely clean- even vacumns, and shaves his nuts. Looking for broad that's breathing, 18-54 for fun and games. Must like to "LTC", not adverse to being by yourself while I roam. Oh, and mustn't mind that my very hot wife with the fake rack might be around from time to time. She doesn't mind. She has like 12 credit cards with my name on them. E-mail me at "nolan.at.baseballwriter.net". No fatties. Unless we're talking blow.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:34:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretentious arts student, 18- male, middle class and white. Knows the exact toaster setting to get perfect toast. Spends half his life painting little plastic models and the other half on a well-known web forum with other social outcasts.
Did I mention the toast?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:34:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:30:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was with Jeremy before uber.
--------------------------------
I thought so but wasn't sure, was a little before my time.
But like (someone famous), I said, "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story".
Thanks for the +2.
-Dave
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was with Jeremy before uber.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:30:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single White Female, 17- Given to hysterical giggling at nothing particularly funny. Heavily medicated. Doesn't piss on the floor very often. Enjoys staring at nothing much for hours on end. Leaps, twitches, and/or flails at the slightest provocation. Takes to upright ambulation like a duck to motor oil. Collects strange accidents and injuries. Curses fluently. Seeking anyone at all for mating and subsequent devouring of mate.
Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:29:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Single 22 year old in wheel chair after trying to have sex with a very sexy rhinoceros. Will get out of it in 4 months when both legs get out of casts. Will want lots of sex after that time period, wouldn't mind sex before then either. Raging drunk that hits others when drinks to much. Fucks any women that gets in his way when drunk so don't take it personally when this happens. Will expect bitch to do everything I don't want to.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:27:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SWM, 23 no kids and a marginal criminal record. I read at a fourth grade level and would like a woman able to do at least that or better.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck...where are you at? I'll pick you up at 8. Remember, my huge wallet more than makes up for my rather average weewee.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wanna see my garden?
mystia-n- dave
woo
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:22:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:17:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Single white female sexpot, 31, slight smack habit.
loves to tend to the garden. the bodies of ex boyfriends make the flowers grow extra pretty!
will pop your zits and shave your ass.
also has excellent microwave and take out ordering skills.
p.s. will suck dick
yup, that's the clincher , baby!
-----------------------------------------
I think I love you mysti.
-Dave
Submitted by polymorph505 (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single, Portugese, Female, 45, aging hippie, whiner. I like long walks down crowded streets with signs and lots of shouting, sometimes riots. I like restricting freedom to protect children, when in reality i'm the one that needs protecting. I have hairy nipples but I act out against people to hide my insecurities. I get jousted in the butt daily but I keep coming back for more. Email me at CarolRichards.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:17:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Single white female sexpot, 31, slight smack habit.
loves to tend to the garden. the bodies of ex boyfriends make the flowers grow extra pretty!
will pop your zits and shave your ass.
also has excellent microwave and take out ordering skills.
p.s. will suck dick
yup, that's the clincher , baby!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:15:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck...I'M considering dating you, after that write-up.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:14:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter
how dumb my suggestions are.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Single White Male 18, Prides in being the town drunk, Lives in a town of 44 people, Attending university (mostly online) for psychology, Plans to open a bar in said small town and run for mayor, No other plans for future, Ambidextrous. Looking for a red-haired, freckled, green eyed, average sized Irishwoman for wild sex and Irish citizenship. Canadian, but willing to change.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cookie...Very similar. We are alike! ;)
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
TIGERLILLY!!! You're the girl for me. Mine says:
Horny girl, 24, loves teh cock. Vodka makes her horny and tequila makes her mean. Lick-er her up for some rough times.
Let's make bacon, baby!
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:02:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Female, 19, Auburn hair, Dark brown eyes, successful, DD tits, Loves sex and giving oral,
loves videogames, anime, violent and horror movies, and I have a great sense of humor.
Oh I guess I should also mention..I'm married, I have an unnatural love for swords, knives
and guns, and inflicting pain gets me off.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-03 17:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is mine
Single Girl 30. Loves big wiener. Enjoys vodka and tequila.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-03 17:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Perhaps a "Letter to Lucille" would bring you the "Bad Love" that you're looking for.
I *heart* you, Dave.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-02-03 17:53:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh.. apparently, I don't need one.
Cracked me up, nonetheless. Have a +2.
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2005-02-03 17:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Looking for girl with tubgirl abilities. My AIM screename is mexican flanders.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-03 17:47:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apologies for any typos or other such fuck ups.
I couldn't be bothered to spell check.
-Dave