Fuck these fucking words (919 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: ETS_Nonfiction
Rating: 1.42 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2005-02-03 18:07:12 EST
I am so fucking sick of words. I am sick of trying to bridge the bleeding hearts with something so tentative and precipitous as a string of characters. Can you really see me through them? Can you really know the motivations behind what I am saying? Can I possibly prevent you from running away with them under your arm, stashing them away in your own unique filing system?
I throw you this boomerang in the hopes that you can catch it, and it doesn't just come screaming back at me, smacking me in the face. These words are the words a dribbling, stumbling walrus on roller-skates - a pale representation of an abstract facsimile of the Cubist painting of my true intentions, the source of which extends down into the recesses of my soul - the places I want only you to see.
I just want to mail you some wader boots, the kind fly fishermen use to hold the bitter cold water from their bodies, or a kayak made of the buoyant brains of a thousand wise men, so we can just sidestep this tentative bridge and meet somewhere in the middle... We can't all be Jesus. We can't all walk on water. But I know this: I'd rather sink with you, leaden and weightless, a thousand times over than be a disciple in a boat, or a sinking Saint with the keys to an imaginary heaven.
I don't want to explain this. I don't want to break this 'in case of emergency' glass. I don't want to rely on the soup can phone, the homing pigeon, the message in the bottle, the Greek soldier, the telegraph, the telephone, the internet to carry my message to you any more.
I love you. Nothing can deliver that but me.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-08 14:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-02-06 15:25:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-02-04 03:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think most of us have felt similar things at one point or another, nice job of capturing it. I particularly liked the kayak made of brains image.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-04 03:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for being spot on
-1 for being just a little to choppy and vague.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-02-04 02:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Halefuckinglujah!!!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:42:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, you're lucky. This post has served its purpose. It was but a means to an end. That end having been acheived, I don't see a need to sit here and hand your ass to you again. Suffice it to say, I have something on you friend that for whatever reason you don't want getting out. If you want to play dirty, we can.
I'll leave it up to you. Rate me as you see fit, but don't presume that because I express emotions that I am a spineless cunt. This would be wrong. Nothing is ever at face value, friend.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I picked the right post to visit. I picked the one where some homo decided to cry for the internet world to see.
Next time, attach "Dogs Playing Poker" to your post, shitforbrains. And take a Midol.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:22:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post actually got worse with age.
ETS- Try slapping yourself in the face- if that doesn't work, use a croquet mallet- because you're out of your fucking mind.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-03 22:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this. You used a lot of really weird and cool metaphors and managed to really get the point across. Nice job.
...sorry, I don't have anything to say about anyone's mother or miscarriage or alleged gayness. I think I haven't got the hang of this "reviewing" thing yet, because I think I'm light on unrelated insults.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:25:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"You are picking the wrong post to revisit today, friend."
ahahahaha
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:06:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet all your guitars are in big teardrop shapes. Go and have a cry, little one.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll give you the last word.... I said what I came to say.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:58:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
You should write a song about this experience to match the rest of your songs composed of bitching and sobbing, you fucking crybaby.
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How bout I write a song about how Professor Fuckface's poor dear old mother, had a miscarriage because she didn't read the memo about how it's not safe to fuck donkeys while pregnant with her own son's baby.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:58:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You should write a song about this experience to match the rest of your songs composed of bitching and sobbing, you fucking crybaby.
Submitted by Mitchapalooza (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:39:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
Why the bitterness? I gave you some +2 action yesterday, Turd Burglar.
This fucking sucks.
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Then GET THE FUCK OUT! You're like a retard at a train wreck. Stop gawking. Take your fucking return blow and either hit back, or shut the fuck up! I don't give two shits about your pathetic little fucking 2, nor whether it's preceded by a + or a -.
If you didn't want to parry then you shouldn't have opened your fucking mouth. (you've got a little cum on your lip, there btw....no....other side. there you go. good boy)
You are picking the wrong post to revisit today, friend.
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+2 because this is "sensitive day" at the school of "i can't take criticism" for retards.
And because the above electrictooth tyrade was really funny.
Submitted by Pharathyse (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was almost disappointed in the lack of all out balls-to-the-wall negativity from you ETS....
Then I read some of your comments to the reviews. At least I know it's really you and you haven't been abducted by aliens and replaced with a look-alike. :o)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:39:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
Why the bitterness? I gave you some +2 action yesterday, Turd Burglar.
This fucking sucks.
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Then GET THE FUCK OUT! You're like a retard at a train wreck. Stop gawking. Take your fucking return blow and either hit back, or shut the fuck up! I don't give two shits about your pathetic little fucking 2, nor whether it's preceded by a + or a -.
If you didn't want to parry then you shouldn't have opened your fucking mouth. (you've got a little cum on your lip, there btw....no....other side. there you go. good boy)
You are picking the wrong post to revisit today, friend.
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:48:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:39:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why the bitterness? I gave you some +2 action yesterday, Turd Burglar.
This fucking sucks.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not sure why, but I liked this.
The pic was good too.
-Dave
Submitted by lokee (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm telling!!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:28:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:25:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:22:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:11:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
faggot
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POSER
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By the way.... Go fuck your mother till she has another miscarriage.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:25:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch out for the banana peel!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:22:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:11:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
faggot
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POSER
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:22:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:14:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
Wreaks of gayness. All the way over here.
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Run along Shlongy... Go be a hasbeen elsewhere. It smells like gayness there because you've managed to turn Mrs. Shlongy into a cuntlicker.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:11:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
faggot
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i actually laughed out loud at that, and rather boisterously, i might add.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:14:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wreaks of gayness. All the way over here.
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-02-03 18:11:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
faggot