The Axiom of Relationships (801 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 2 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <dethcow.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-03 19:51:52 EST
The Axiom of Relationships states that the amount of satisfaction felt by any person in a relationship is expressible as a ratio of the amount of sex and the amount of shit one has to put up with from one's partner. More notationally,
S = x / p , where x = the average number of sexual acts engaged in by the couple every week, and p = the duration of bitching the partner in question must endure weekly.
Note that as x becomes large (or at least increases at a more rapid rate than p), the satisfaction goes to infinity. This explains why polygamists are so happy. Also note that as p becomes small (assuming x constant or minimally variant), the satisfaction goes to infinity. This explains why those who date deaf-mutes are so happy.
We shall see that this axiom is needed in the proof of the Fundamental Theorem of Relationships, or the statement that all relationship can be expressed as a product of two irreducible types of relationships: stable (and therefore boring) and unstable(and perhaps exciting). Coupled with the Euclidean Division Algorithm for Relationships, we shall see that these theorems will yield a much better understanding of the general relationship. But I shall save these little gems for the next lesson.
User Reviews
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-04-23 05:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking brilliant.
Submitted by dethcow (user info) at 2005-02-17 19:54:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-02-17 18:45:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
I will S you with a minimum of p. Call me.
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Sw33t!
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-02-17 18:45:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will S you with a minimum of p. Call me.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-02-04 10:31:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
w00t
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-04 10:27:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha you geek!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-02-04 10:16:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HA!
:)
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:17:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MATH IS EVERYTHING
agreed
Submitted by dethcow (user info) at 2005-02-03 21:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:49:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
You just HAD to bring math into it, didn't you?!
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MATH IS EVERYTHING. Math is the language of the gods! Or at least if it isn't then I've made a poor career choice.
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:49:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You just HAD to bring math into it, didn't you?!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:41:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2005-02-03 20:39:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think polygamists are happy because they beat their wives, not because there are so many of them. No amount of sex is worth all of that nagging.