My Perfect Bitch (BABB Friday) (1203 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.67 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by L.G. <el2tha.g.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-04 13:29:39 EST
After reading this post http://www.ubersite.com/m/58214 I have decided to start saving all of my quarters until I have enough money to get my own Build-A-Bitch. But what would my Build-a-bitch look like? Let's see.
Appearance:
First of all, she would have to be around 5'9" or 5'10". I myself am 5'11", and I find that one or two inches shorter works best for me. She would have dark(black or brunette) curly hair. For some reason I'm a sucker for curly hair. I see it and my peener stands at attention, ready for a two minute drill. She would be skinny. Not I can see your ribs skinny, but a stomach like J. Lo http://www.jenniferlopez.com . I'm also an ass man. The more cheek I have to stick my three inches in, the better. I would definitely have to make her ass like the lovely Vida Guerra http://www.vidasworld.com . Next would come her chest, not as improtant to me as ass, but still a key factor. I think I would settle for a chest like Ms. Jolie here http://www.angelinafan.com . Actually, I think i'd take her lips too. Mmmm, yesss. Eyes. I would definitely have to go with Tara Reid's eyes on this one http://www.actressarchives.com/tara . The rest of her face (nose, shape, etc,), and legs, I would model after sexy Sofia Vergara http://www.sofiavergara.com .
Personality:
My Bitch would have to be able to take my sarcastic remarks and jokes. When I say "Make me a sandwhich whore! And make yourself something small, your ass is getting fat." she should be able to take it, unlike my past girlfriends, who all broke down in tears. She would be completely devoted to pleasing me in every way possible. This includes being a freaky little thing in the bedroom. I would throw some other things in there, but honestly, I don't really give a fuck about her personality other than what I've mentioned.
Skills:
Ah, yes. My Bitch would have some of the greatest skills ever. First, she would have the skills of a 6 foot Swedish massage person, mixed with a Thai massage mentality. My bitch would also t=have the skills of Cuban cigar makers, so that she could roll all of my blunts for me. She would be a master cook, and a damn good house cleaner too. She would be able to suck my cock like her life depended on it, and would have the perfect deep throat technique. She would be blessed with the driving skills of a man, and would drive me everywhere I wanted to go. I'm sure I'll add more later, but these are just the basic skills I'd like her to have.
Oh yes Uber, my Build-a-Bitch would be perfect for me. Only 82.3 years until I'll have enough quarters to get my own. This, and that eternal life potion I just bought on E-bay, and I will be the happiest man on Earth. So let's hear from everyone here. "It's Friday. You ain't got no job. You ain't got shit to do." OK maybe you have a job, but you know you aren't doing shit today. So why not jump on the Build-A-Bitch Bandwagon (BABB)? What would your Build-A-Bitch be like?
I was going to photoshop my perfect Build-A-Bitch, but I got lazy. Use your imagination bitch.
User Reviews
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic, but I ought to -2 you for suggesting a bandwagon.
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:42:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAH Have fun with those quarters!
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-04 13:40:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fair enough. I tried!
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-02-04 13:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Try http://www.mvm.com
You can build her there.
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I tried. She sucked.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-04 13:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Try http://www.mvm.com
You can build her there.