A Comedy of Phonies (740 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.08 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (View user info) at 2005-02-04 14:48:41 EST
Last weekend I saw the movie "Sideways." This isn't a critique of the movie, so if you really liked it, just read. I'm not saying it's good or bad.
I'm saying that I'd rather sit on an African's tobasco covered cock then have to sit through that pile of trash again. Honestly, it was the worst display of writing and anti-climax I've ever seen.
The director is the same guy that did "About Schmidt" and I was hopeful, because "About Schmidt" ripped the fucking organs out of my chest and made me shit all over myself with emotion. This movie had the same heart as "About Schmidt" - and even the plot was similar. But it reminded me of the ONLY reason why "About Schmidt" really worked in the end - Jack.
Hmmm... Maybe it wasn't the movie though... Yes, I thought the movie was really terrible but there's something else. Ah - the audience made me sick.
Remember, this movie is up for awards which is drawing an even bigger crowd to it. Sometimes you can spot this specific type of audience I'm referring to immediately - there's something on their sorry faces that already likes the movie before they even take their seat.
The movie starts, and people are already laughing at the credits. People are laughing at jokes they'd never laugh out outside of their "I'm supposed to like this movie" preparation. You can hear the falsely-fronted culture these people are putting on right through their laughter.
Tell me you can't spot forced laughter right away. It's the simplest thing.
This fat fuck behind me was laughing very loudly every 2-3 minutes. That's not laughter, that's "listen to me - I'm cultured and I UNDERSTAND this movie's simplistic plot, and its 'love the little things' conclusion. Look and listen to me."
People have such a desire to instantly back the underdog. People will avoid movies, music, literature, art - you name it - because it's mainstream. The desire to stray from the norm is healthy and can have rewards -
'Ever see "Jesus' Son?" A brilliant indie movie. One of dozens I like.
'Ever listen to G. Love and Special Sauce? There's something for everybody there.
But to center your like and allow "management" and "finances" and "ghastly corporate America" to impact the sound of music?
- Just because it's obscure doesn't mean it's good
- Just because it's mainstream doesn't mean it's bad
Take The Killers, an indie band from Vegas. I'm sure 100s of people denounced them once they showed up on the radio or MTV. Same thing happened to 311.
Ever heard anyone say "I like foreign films?"
Oh yeah? You like all foreign films from across the world eh? Isn't that like saying "I like food?"
What image are they aiming for?
Because a movie is indie, or done in an indie fashion (usually "aww, look at these poor addicts") doesn't mean it's brilliant.
Just because a bunch of old fucks think that shit is an instant classic and award it, doesn't mean it's brilliant.
Just because a band plays out of a sewer doesn't mean their music is brilliant.
Judge art based on content. A movie can be simple or complex - but a movie's primary objective is to entertain - above all else. Not to teach. If you really like a piece of art, you shouldn't have to mentally assist in your liking of it.
Bring the negative twos - bring the negative twos motherfuckers. This reminds you of all the times you were asked to name a favorite band or movie and deliberately named the most obscure song/movie/band you could think of to impress the person who asked. There could possibly be someone sitting in front of you, or standing behind you, or just standing close by who spots your phoniness and teaches you more than you'd like to know about yourself - with a glance.
![jack0[1].jpg (15 kB)](http://stuff.ubersite.com/1107546521192324327/1/jack0[1].jpg)
User Reviews
Submitted by podium (user info) at 2005-02-13 15:20:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Personally, I liked the movie, it made me laugh. But I'm no elitist.
There was a Queerbecker sitting behind me who would not stop laughing. Even when the Mia character was getting really deep about the age of the wine, the frog would not shut up. I turned around and told her to go back to where she came. She looked shocked and shut her mouth.
I totally agree with you on the phonies thing though, 100%. We have a whole neighbourhood in Ottawa called the Glebe which is chocked-full of them like you cannot imagine. They think they are cultured, educated and sophisticated but they make me sick. Why? Because they look down on people and they're dillusional. They're the kind of Canadian that will describe themselves as Western European as opposed to Northern American. The kind you'll never see drinking a beer or smoking a cigarette. The kind that loves Queerbec not because they're a hole in the ground that rots our country from the inside but because they distinguish us from the Americans.
Another funny thing-a lot of these phonies are being exposed for who they really are by going into restaurants and ordering Pineault Noir as described in the movie-there is no such wine, it is only Pineault.
Anyway, I'm done. Sorry you didn't like it and the phonies spoiled it for you. I'm giving you a plus 2 because I agree with your opinion on the matter.
Submitted by Doneupandin (user info) at 2005-02-08 23:31:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-02-03 23:04:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
I fucked a french guy too. Well he was Acadian, but that's the same.
Does that make me gay or bi?
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I suppose that you are a little upset with your own French tendencies. So I have to ask...were you the pitcher or the catcher? I'll bet you used to play for the Brown's as a tight end and now you play for the Packers as a wide receiver. What a bundle of sticks...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-02-07 14:29:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you're an angry little faggot.
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-02-05 17:09:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to formally welcome you as Über's very own Holden Caulfield.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-02-05 16:52:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-02-04 14:51:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Your post couldn't possibly be less boring than the movie...
I don't like to be mean and ignorant. So I won't be. I'm just going to agree with Vomit anyway.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-04 20:27:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good points. I've agreed with this all along.
I can't stand posers.
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-02-04 17:05:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for having a damn good point.
-1 for stating it poorly.
Submitted by The_Wizard (user info) at 2005-02-04 17:01:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bam. Auto +2
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you've just described more of my (ex) friends than i care to admit
phony psuedo intellectuals piss me off more than hippies!
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-04 15:11:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You make a nice point
Probably one of my least favorite parts of college. All these fucks trying to one up another with what obscure band they love.
But G. Love and Special Sauce? They were huge at UMD and even played a few shows around there. I only went to see them cause I was trying to bang this hot emo chick. They sucked, I got laid, so I guess I shouldn't hold it against them.
A bunch of friends of mine (girls) loved this guy John Mayer. ughhh The second he got on the radio, they hated him.
Bitches
Thanks for the recomendation, as I was pondering seeing that movie
Ever see a movie (can't remember name) with Giovani Rabisci (sp) in it about drawing a comic book or something. Hated it. Terrible. On eof the few movies I have ever turned off because I couldn't stand to watch another second of it. Yea it was supposed to be an indie hit too.
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-02-04 14:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your post couldn't possibly be less boring than the movie...
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-04 14:50:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, that crowd makes me sick...and makes me feel unimportant