An Open Letter to Cake (707 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 1.89 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tastycat <connor.at.tw-apparel.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-07 10:44:49 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58887
Dear Cake,
Let me first compliment you and say that I've loved your light fluffiness since my 1 year-old ass went out and got "My Face" pushed into you on "My Birthday". The following is just constructive criticism.
The Cake "Taste" has been excellent, a combination of straight-up chocolate mixed with angel food, dabbling in brownies, marble, devil's food, sponge and beyond. Up until the release of "Pound Cake", you had never used much egg or fat in your sumptuous body, but "Pound Cake" used them sparsely and well.
Your sapidity has always been thoughtful, intelligent, wry and ironic, with flavours ranging from orange-chocolate ("Chocolate Cake w/ Orange Butter Icing") to carrot ("Cool Carrot Cake w/ Icing") to banana ("Banana Yogurt Cake") and beyond. The only repetitions you used savourously were well done and well-placed.
Quite the opposite, the new cake "Genoise" is flavourally repetitive, over-utilizes egg, and then when butter is actually used it steals butter remnants from older Cake. After taking about a dozen objective bites of "Gen", it feels like your flour is going through a mid-life crisis of sorts and this recipe was put together in under a week. The only palatable bits are "The Icing" and... wait that's it.
It was refreshing in your previous delicacies to have new textures being brought together into cake: nuts, cherries, etc., and it was even more refreshing to bear witness to inginuity in a Cake recipe. I don't fear change, rather I love it - but in this situation you've become another cheesecake instead of a revolutionary medium of orally-satisfying change.
Hope your next baked good is much better, charge less for it if it's not.
Sincerely,
Tastycat
User Reviews
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-02-13 10:49:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like cake.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-02-07 15:58:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-07 15:42:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-07 12:23:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck! forgot to +2 this
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-07 12:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
at my cousin's wedding, they didn't have a real cake, just a bunch of cupcakes in the shape of a cake (like your pic). how jewish is that?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-07 11:00:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What about bundt cake? Upside-down cake. Shortcake. Patty-cake!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-02-07 10:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmm cake
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-07 10:52:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dick.
And by that, I mean "Penis"
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-07 10:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-07 10:48:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAAHAHAHHAH!!
I WAS GOING TO DO THIS ONE, but chose to do the "People hate me post" instead!!
AWESOME!!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-07 10:47:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmm.....cake