UberMurder! Electrictoothsyndrome found dead in his bathroom! (Awaiting police report) (601 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.14 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Timmah http://www.these-bloody-hands.tk (View user info) at 2005-02-07 19:19:27 EST
Electrictoothsyndrome busily brushes his teeth whilst swearing to himself. He has five minutes to get to his meeting and he hasn't even had a chance to iron his clothes. As he curses himself for being so disorganised he spots something in the corner of his eye.
A shadowy figure rushes past him in the mirror. He moves cautiously towards the door frame, looks around and sees no one and continues brushing his teeth.
He spits into the sink basin and lifts his head to look in the mirror.
The hooded figure is now standing behind him. He chokes on his toothbrush and turns round to face his assailant.
Coroners report
At 23:59 7/2/05 the body of electrictoothsyndrome was found dead in his bathroom. He was found with multiple abrasions and a crushed trachea, which leads us to believe he was strangled. Further evidence to support this theory was the cheese wire we found at the scene.
The wire had no obvious finger prints. Which leads us to believe the killer was wearing gloves. A size 14US (13UK) footprint was found in a patch of spilled talcum powder and two smear marks in the fresh paint (work was being done earlier in the day) equidistant to each other were found on either side of the narrow bathroom door. Both of these clues show us that the killer was large (overweight) and most likely male.
The fact that ETS still had his tooth brush in his hand when his body was found shows us that the killer was not already in the building. This may rule out any chance of the killer being a friend of ETS. Also the front door had been picked furthering our argument that the murderer was unfamiliar with his victim.
Dr Tim Murray MD
Overseers report.
Another innocent man murdered in cold blood. But the question is not so much how? But who and why? After the capture of degreeless it seemed that maybe uber was that little bit safer. But yet again the killer killed in cold blood.
The murders are becoming more and more random and meaningless. Could this be the work of a deranged psycho? Or an organised, calculated killer?
Find them! And put them to their deaths!
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-08 08:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-02-08 02:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES! unfortunately this didn't really leave any new clues that I picked up on, so I'm left with ym original suspicions from degreelesses confession, now on to rate the poilce report!
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-07 21:30:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, look at all those tasty zeros!
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-07 21:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(back from the grave to comment)
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-07 21:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My money's on darko to solve this crime. He's my favorite little vigilante.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2005-02-07 20:48:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AJ! It's fucking AJ!
size 14?
I have a size 13 at the most and that's big. AJ, meanwhile, is a giant. It's fucking AJ.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-07 20:34:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2005-02-07 20:19:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
It would have been much more appropriate if he had stuffed the toothbrush down his throat, choking him.
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Damn, that's a bit harsh Nicole... What's with all the hostility?
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2005-02-07 20:19:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It would have been much more appropriate if he had stuffed the toothbrush down his throat, choking him.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-02-07 19:52:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh boy...here we go again.
Police report will be finished tonight. Expect it to be posted whenever Timmah feels like it.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-07 19:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Munkeypants - Murdered
GodLovesALittleLovin - Executed
Loki - Murdered
Degreeless - Executed
Electrictoothsyndrome - Murdered
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-07 19:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SEE!!! I TOLD YOU!
It' *can't* be me.
It says the guy is probably overweight.
I'm just fat.
It says he's large.
6'3" isn't all that "large".
Size 14ish shoes?
HA! I'm a 13 1/2!
Can't be me. Nope.
And uh... That's not paint.
Seriously.
Go away.