2 weeks of drunkiness-1 (599 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.5 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <danzxc13.at.cs.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-08 19:24:48 EST
Here's the background:
Its the winter in Central Jersey, no benny's to fuck up your game (For everyone thats not from Jersey, a benny is someone from New York that comes down to fuck our chics and dirty our already polluted beaches), no drunkin pussy looking for a fuck on the weekend, and most importantly, no winter tires on my RX-8.
So let's start with my dumb ass girlfriend that has "issues" from the asshole she dated for 8 years before me. She is one part bitch, and one part Dumb Ass Bitch that thinks she is independent and doesn't need a guy. That cracks me up, especially after she's done telling me that I need to compliment her more. I usually tell the DAB that I'll give her hole a compliment if I ever see it again. I guess I need to work on my charm a little bit.
Anyway, so it snows pretty bad 2 weekends ago. Its Sat morning and I tell my DAB to come over early, that way she can drive over before the snow gets too bad. We can get wasted on her expensive Gin and Tonics while I drink beer. And hopefully get laid somewhere in between. So what happens, she waits until it's too bad to drive, and tells me she's walking to her friend's house to hang out and watch movies. So I figure that I might as well get drunk, jerk off, and go to sleep happy.
Well, it was a good plan....
I ended up walking up to my Mikes house. Mike was my roommate until he got married and bought a house in the same complex as me. His house comes in handy when I can't drive my state-of-the art car due to 1 inch of snow. So I ended up watching movies with him and his wife, and getting wasted. On the way home, I hear my friend Ryan and his wife yelling and having a good time. Just so you know, Ryan's wife makes the strongest 7's and 7's. I don't even know what the fuck is in them, but they're good. So after about 10 of his wife's drinks, I finally stumble home. That's after the cops came by at 2 AM to break up an awesome snowball fight and before I called his wifes sister to tell her to break up with her man and drive down to hook up with me! Her sister is fucking hot as hell! Needless to say, that didn't go over too well.
Lets fast forward to Tuesday. My buddy Adam wants to go out cause he's on vacation. Cool by me, since I've been taking prescription speed to cut up for the summer, and it now only takes me around 5 beers to make young women hate my guts. As I said, I need to work on the charm. Anyway, it was supposed to be me, Adam, and my friend Jim. Jim is my alcoholic friend that gets wasted and does stupid shit. Fun to hang with. We were supposed to go to a bar called Bar-A. It's a cool bar in the summer with outside BBQ'S, volleyball courts, outside bars. Usually lots of easy pussy. In the winter its more tame but still a cool place to go. We go there every Sunday to watch football, so we know all the hot chic bartenders.
So Jim ends up backing out and once I tell DAB that I'm going, she says that she wants to go. She lives 2 seconds from Bar-A, so I figure I'm at least guaranteed pussy now that I'll be crashing at her place. I tell her to bring a friend, and Adam I and will meet up with them. I borrow Mike's SUV, cause theres still like 2 feet of snow on the ground, and I end up picking up DAB and friend and going to Adams apartment.
Adam is a cool mother fucker. He's an average looking dude, but is real genuine with girls so they love him. He always knows a bunch of chics when we go out. So we go to his apartment for some drinks and then off to the bar.
We get to the bar, and low and behold, hot bitches everywhere. I'm so glad I decided to hang out with my girl. Right away Adam knows the hot bartender with huge tits. Damn this. I figure fuck it, I've wanted to break up with DAB for awhile now, might as well have fun doing it. I tell Adam that whatever girls he wants to talk to, I'm game. If DAB can't understand that I'm helping out a single friend, then fuck her.
We do shots, then shots with beer, then shots, well you get the idea. Adam sees a group of girls to talk to, and since DAB and friend are dancing like idiots, I figure why not. Side note, I hate it when girls that can't dance, but think they can, make fun of you for not dancing. If I'm gunna look like a fool, I'll do it on my own terms, like puking on myself while trying to pick up girls that are dancing like idiots.
So we're over talking with girls, and DAB comes over all pissed off. I ask her what the problem is, and she says I'm over here talking with sluts instead of dancing with her. So the sluts get pissed and start getting in DAB's face. Adam and I are too busy laughing and pissing ourselves to notice that the bouncer come over. He picks up DAB and escorts her out. Ahahah
Her friend comes over and tells me that we need to leave and help DAB. Adam calmly tells her to go outside and we'll meet them outside when we finish our beers. So now that the bitches are gone, Adam and I hook up with 2 of the sluts, take them back to his place, and fuck the shit out of both of them. What a great night. I hope DAB found a ride home....
Sounds good right?
Well lets go back a little bit. I did tell Adam that I'd talk to chics with him. But in reality, we just stood by and watched DAB and friend dance while we got wasted. My friends always tell me that I talk the talk, and never back anything up.
So in the end, I dropped Adam and friend off and figured I'd get laid when I crashed at DAB's house. Well guess what. As usual, she wasn't in the mood. We ended up fighting cause I wanted some, and she was closed for business. I drove home at 3 AM (20 minute drive), felt guilty for being an asshole about it, then drove back and got back into bed with her. She was already sleeping.
How did I become a spineless bitch?
TBC...............
User Reviews
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You live a pathetic life. You brag about your car but can't get any pussy from your girlfriend. Thats why you have a girlfriend, for steady pussy. Geez do you need a sign?
Submitted by Danzxc (user info) at 2005-02-09 08:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok so you all think I'm a pussy right?
You wanna know why I'm with her, SHE'S HOT AS HELL.
I'm good as long she keeps putting out at least 3 times a month.
The sacrifice you have to make sometimes for a hot bitch.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-02-09 07:19:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"How did I become a spineless bitch?"
Dunno. Drinking too much meths maybe?
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-09 07:03:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you still with her because everyone else is too smart to touch you with a ten-foot bargepole?
It seems a logical assumption, because I can't imagine anyone with half a brain wanting to put up with behaviour like that.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-08 23:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danzxc (user info) at 2005-02-08 23:05:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Spoken like a true woman.
How bout if she put out some more, I wouldn't call her a DAB!
************************************
Ahh, it's a vicious cycle. Get a new girl, dude.
Submitted by Danzxc (user info) at 2005-02-08 23:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Spoken like a true woman.
How bout if she put out some more, I wouldn't call her a DAB!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-08 22:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh. Perhaps if you didn't refer to her as a Dumb Ass Bitch all the time, she might put out a bit more.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My sympathies for your penile unit.
Submitted by Danzxc (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, tell me bout it!
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-02-08 20:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
have a plus one cuz that must suck when your own girlfriend won't give you some
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-02-08 19:32:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
pussy