I Can't Be The Only One (806 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.93 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sketch9 (View user info) at 2005-02-08 22:19:53 EST
Now, be gentle, Uber, for I am opening up the moist fleshy inner folds of my heart to you. Perhaps I'm just strange, or odd, or *SYNONYM*. I'll let you in on a little secret.
But first I need you to close your eyes.
Lean your head back.
Hum a mantra to yourself. Open up your spirit, your, soul, your mind, and your *SYNONYM*. Prepare yourself for the journey.
Hold that.
Okay, envision yourself standing over the toilet, piece in hand, ready to urinate. Got that? Oh yeah, you're not a girl either. Looking down, you notice that whatever slimeball motherfucker that used that toilet left those tiny little "turd skids". Not the long greasy ones that slip down the front of the bowl....
just the little nuggety spots.
Now you have three options:
1) You can proceed to urinate, I mean, that's what you're here to do, right?
2) If you happen to be a girl, go ahead, play with it. Wiggle it a bit. *SYNONYM* it. What do you think keeps men so entertained?
3) You can do as I do, and "shoot" the little poop-marks off of the bowl.
Now a true man's man, well, they probably sit when they pee. Being men's men, and all. But the obviously right answer is #3. You're not only getting target practice and releiving yourself, but you're also having fun!
Everybody likes to shoot stuff, right? I mean, just to see if you can hit it, right? Well, in this case, to see if you have enough pressure... heh...
Oookay, maybe not. And I just told an internet full of people my lavatory urination habits. Hmm...
Best end this now.
drool. d-rool.
User Reviews
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2005-02-09 22:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
doc, i think you're the only one who caught that.
i bake you pecan pie now.
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2005-02-09 19:07:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
okat. look, i've veen sitting here s long time noq and nothing is ha[[ening. there is only darkness.
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-02-09 18:49:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for one of the prettiest buds ever
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-09 09:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The +2 is for the pic. The story was funny too.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-09 09:12:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyone who DOESN'T do that is obviously a retard, or has a vagina.... but with the proper use of a mirror, our vagina sporting minority could ALSO shoot down the shit nuggets.
Thank you... that is all.
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-02-09 08:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You sure as heckfire aren't the only one. Shooting the fuckers down is the only entertaining thing about peeing. Unless you're really drunk, but can still actually get your piece out to pee. Then peeing is the best goddamn thing on the planet.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-09 08:27:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Okay, envision yourself standing over the toilet, piece in hand, ready to urinate. Got that?
~~~
was totally into it until that point.
I appear to be lacking in the 'piece' department.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-09 08:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
or *SYNONYM*
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-09 02:32:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is a load of *SYNONYM*.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-02-09 02:20:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shoot the fuckers. not only is it fun, but it saves you cleaning it by hand.
Submitted by beefstick86 (user info) at 2005-02-09 02:14:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you are not the only one. I've tried to get the long greasy ones... it just makes more of a mess... heh heh heh....
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-02-09 00:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beats using a fucking brush.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-08 23:39:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I stopped at "I need you to close your eyes."
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-08 23:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahhahahaha!!!! yay.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-02-08 23:18:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
But of course, it just makes sense.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-02-08 22:28:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The sound of sizzle