Washing Dishes (or Why Womens Feet are so Small) (1072 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.27 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <ThineJericho.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-09 00:47:40 EST
If there is one task I seriously dislike, its washing dishes. Its not so bad when you have a dishwasher, or even your own kitchen sink. But when you have to wash your bowls, cups, and silverware (I don't own any plates) in a bathroom, taking your pick of 8 sinks that have all been used by multiple instances of ugly males .. its a little different.
Yes, I realize that a person's attractiveness has absolutely nothing to do with whether they've dirtied the sink more .. but its the principle of the thing.
And so I generally wait until 'after-hours' to wash my dining-ware. No big deal, the SLC's (version of an RA) like me, even after all the shit I've pulled (sprinting naked on-floor for money, wandering around in a drug-induced stupor, and offending the entire floor (and school) on multiple occasions). I was the first PA (Peer Assistant - primary job is to make sure conflicts can be resolved among students without involving adminstration, 'role-models' for their fellow students) to be removed from my position by force for quite some time in the history of the school.
However, I'm still the golden child, because as much shit that I do, when I get caught I take responsibility for it and don't bitch much. So they all like that, and we get along decently. Now, its technically against the rules for me to be out of my room after midnight on Monday through Thursday. However, for that very reason I'm often to be found taking a shower or cleaning dishes at 1:00 a.m. Its quieter then, and I'm not disturbed by displays of white man-flesh that should never be shown in public. Really .. I have absolutely nothing against walking around without a shirt. I do it all the time. But, if a male is obese, has breasts, and multiple chins .. I'd prefer for him to spend the majority of his time within clothing. Not a problem, right?
Well .. tonight it seemed to be.
Not twenty minutes ago, I get up as soon as its 'against the rules' to be out, to go wash the dishes I'd used during the day. And what do I see walking towards me you ask? Ah, but of course, not one, not two, but three SLC's all escorting the largest guy on our floor to the bathroom. Seems he had a little ... accident. Mmhmm, the poor bastard had a mixture of diarrhea and vomit smeared across his body. I didn't ask. But then apparently they felt they needed help, so one turned to me and starts to open his mouth. Immediently, I hold my dishes high in front of me, as if warding off a sinister evil-smelling hulk (wait .. I was warding off an evil-smelling hulk), and mutter something about 'just getting back to my room.'
:sigh:
Needless to say, my dishes are not washed.
Moral of the story: Always get your girlfriend to wash your dishes. She would like nothing better. Except when she's swallowing my penis, she'd like that better.
User Reviews
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-03-09 23:22:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, fucking hell. We remodelled our kitchen, and so we had to wash our dishes in the tub. It was awful.
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-02-09 14:39:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I assumed that most Uber'ers had at least heard the joke.
Alas .. :-/
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-09 14:07:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's so they can stand closer to the sink while washing dishes.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-09 07:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha ha ha I don't get it. Why ARE women's feet so small? Ah, never mind, I don't really care.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-09 04:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Bitch, go fix me a turkey pot-pie!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-09 04:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Washing up is a man's job
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-02-09 03:52:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Paper plates/plastic cups and
polypropylene utensils
Submitted by TheJedi (user info) at 2005-02-09 03:37:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just read the moral of the story...
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-02-09 01:46:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAR YE, HEARYE, LET IT BE KNOW!
from this day foward, any post with a title format of the following
"blah blahb lah, i'm a fucking cock, OR, blah blah blah shit fuck cunt face."
will receive a -2. regardless of content.
it just pisses me off.
i understand, sometimes you have TWO sweet title options, but please, for goodness's sack. (yes, sack)
choose one fucking title.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-02-09 01:22:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yellow rubber gloves are sexy
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-02-09 01:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Residential high school on a college campus. Its a bitch, but its senior year.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-02-09 01:22:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-02-09 01:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting, but just which sort of an institution are you in where you can't leave your room after midnight? And "escorted" to the bathroom, what the hell is that about?