Tech Support Can Suck My Nuts (1710 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.1 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (View user info) at 2005-02-09 14:57:17 EST
What is the point of hiring a technical support team if they don't know the product inside and out? I'm working with a 24-track digital hard drive recorder to log signature data for interferometry analysis from an 18 microphone acoustic array. If that sounds too complicated, I'm using what can be thought of as a huge wave recorder to record sounds from a machine so we can figure out the source location of sounds. The company that makes this recorder is Alesis. This is a $1500 unit, and that's with some discounts I was able to pull.
Anyway, my boss says to me "figure out the filter response of the machine." Okay, no big deal, the company probably has this documented. Most electronic audio devices are limited to a range of 20 Hz to 20 kHz, but my boss wants to know about the high frequency bands a little above 20 kHz. It's critical to the performance of our machine.
So I email tech support. I can test the response myself, but I'm sure the manufacturer has completed much more detailed and in-depth tests in this realm, so I email them.
------------------------------------
From: Doug
Sent: Friday, February 04, 2005 2:15 PM
To: Robert
Subject: HD24 question
Robert,
I have a question for you. Do you have any information about the filter response of the HD24?
Thanks,
Doug
-------------------------------------------
His response was:
----------------------------------
From: Robert
Sent: Friday, February 04, 2005 2:21 PM
To: Doug
Subject: RE: HD24 question
I'm sorry I'm not understanding 'filter response'.
Robert
Supervisor - Alesis/Akai/Numark/Ion
Technical Support and Return Authorizations
---------------------------------
Okay, fair enough, since the machine is unfiltered, I should really say "frequency response"
--------------------------------------
From: Doug
Sent: Friday, February 04, 2005 2:44 PM
To: Robert
Subject: RE: HD24 question
I suppose 'frequency response' would be a better term. If I was recording under with a sampling rate of 44.1kHz, my input freq range could be between 0 Hz and 22,050 Hz, and I'm wondering how the HD24 responds to signals in this range, i.e. is it a flat response all around or does it respond better between certain frequencies like 20 Hz to 20 kHz. We're concerned about the performance in the upper echelon of the band.
Thanks,
- Doug
----------------------------------------------
As you can see, that email is from last Friday. My boss wanted these answers quickly. With no response on Monday, I performed a quick test, disregarding the low pass band and concentrating on the high pass band. From my tests, I concluded that the frequency response of the machine begins to fall off around 19.5 kHz, and it reaches the 3 dB point (the output signal appears half as loud as the input signal) at around 21 kHz.
The response falls off quickly after that, having a 6 dB loss (one quarter as loud) at 21.9 k Hz and 9dB loss (one eighth as loud) at 22 kHz. The response should still work well for our purposes, but in case we ever look for really high signals (20kHz - 22kHz), I know where and how to set my gains. It's a simple calculation.
So then I get this email a few minutes ago:
----------------------------
It has a flat frequency response.
Robert
Supervisor - Alesis/Akai/Numark/Ion
Technical Support and Return Authorizations
---------------------------------
What the fuck? First of all, from my tests, across the entire frequency band in question, there is definitely a roll off towards the upper band, and even though I didn't test it, there is definitely one in the lower band (it's impossible not to). Sure, you can generalize that from 200 Hz to 19.5k Hz that is has a flat response, but that was not my question. I asked about the entire theoretical frequency band, from 0 to 22,050 Hz.
If I had gotten this email and told my boss that the frequency response was completely flat across the entire band, he would've laughed in my face and asked me why the inventor of the machine wasn't bestowed thousands of civic awards for achieving the impossible. And if the answer was simple, why did it take the man 6 minutes to respond when he didn't know what I was talking about and 5 days to respond to say "It's flat, like my stupid head!"
I'm having a bad fucking day, so I don't care what this asshole thinks, I think he sucks ass as a tech support guy. What's even more annoying is that I just realized that I actually left this guy a voice message on Monday morning and I never heard back from him, just this email. On top of that, I've emailed him before with a question about their 24-bit encoding and if he knew a way to read it as a binary string into MATLAB, and he didn't know what a binary string was or how to use MATLAB or his ass from his elbow.
User Reviews
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2005-02-14 11:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, 99% of people can't hear much above 17khz, especially not at 19.5 where you show a taper off. And I dare say almost nobody can discern any sound in the 21-22 range, that's like dog whistle frequencies. So I'd say the same thing as your tech guy, even given your results.
-Bus
Submitted by Dustbrother (user info) at 2005-02-14 10:41:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you. We both know all that you can do is bitch to Bart, and that is what you will end up doing like a little motherfucking pussy.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-02-11 20:25:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i feel your pain.
i had to call dell tech support, and the asshole indian whore and i were shooting the shit while she was typing my information into her stupid indian whore computer, and she asks me what i do. "i'm an engineer," i reply. "oooohh, an engineer can't figure out his new computer, huh?" she replies.
"shut the fuck up you stupid indian whore, the fucking harddrive is fried." i think to myself.
"ha. I think the harddrive is fried."
"its probably not."
"it probably is."
...she has me run diags, and it turns out the harddrive is fried.
"i'm not impressed with the quality of dell products these days. may i speak to your manager about returning the computer and getting my money back?"
"no, we can't do that."
"may i speak to your manager?"
"not about returning the computer."
"how about incompetant asshole tech support indian whores?"
they sent me a new harddrive, and made it seem like they were doing me a favor.
goddamm you 1.21 for making me get fired up about this again.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-10 11:04:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2005-02-10 09:24:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
Going against the grain here but you're a fucktard and the guy shouldnt have even bothered answering. The 1 line answers were a direct response to your 1 line questions but you're to much of an anal twat to get that. Perhaps he should have put <sarc> or something into it. Go on there fucko, blame someone else for your stupidity and inability to do your own job. Remember that YOU asked for HIS help you ungratefull cunt.
------------------------------------------------------------
Spoken like a typical tech support man.
Guess what asshole - TECH SUPPORT IS SUPPOSED TO ANSWER QUESTIONS - NO MATTER HOW STUPID THEY ARE.
That's one thing I'll never get about tech support people. They act like their job should consist of them sitting by a never-ringing phone all day. My boss said "Find out the Filter Response". He didn't say "Do it yourself": that would be re-inventing the wheel.
Guess what Fleadh, you say I'm stupid and unable to do my job? I bet I make twice what you do and I'm probably 10 times smarter than you'd ever hope to be. Now go answer phones and talk shit about someone just because they don't masturbate as soon as they see someone typing in Haxxorspeak, you fuck.
I'm done.
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2005-02-10 09:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Going against the grain here but you're a fucktard and the guy shouldnt have even bothered answering. The 1 line answers were a direct response to your 1 line questions but you're to much of an anal twat to get that. Perhaps he should have put <sarc> or something into it. Go on there fucko, blame someone else for your stupidity and inability to do your own job. Remember that YOU asked for HIS help you ungratefull cunt.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-02-09 19:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wanna go on aim biznatch?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-02-09 18:01:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My God, domenad agreed with me. + fucking 2.
Submitted by Mitchapalooza (user info) at 2005-02-09 17:31:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The response falls off quickly after that, having a 6 dB loss (one quarter as loud) at 21.9 k Hz and 9dB loss (one eighth as loud) at 22 kHz. The response should still work well for our purposes, but in case we ever look for really high signals (20kHz - 22kHz), I know where and how to set my gains. It's a simple calculation.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
duh!
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-02-09 17:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-02-09 16:41:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's your problem:
Robert
Supervisor - Alesis/Akai/Numark/Ion
Technical Support and Return Authorizations
See where it says "Supervisor"? Supervisor=clueless
Notice what he is supervisor of? Tech Supprt, sure, but also Return Authorizations.
He's a glorified shipping clerk who is exceptionally skilled at kissing ass. Ask for one of the actual tech support employees.
----------------
hahahahahahaahah! YEAH!
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-09 16:53:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-02-09 16:41:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's your problem:
Robert
Supervisor - Alesis/Akai/Numark/Ion
Technical Support and Return Authorizations
See where it says "Supervisor"? Supervisor=clueless
Notice what he is supervisor of? Tech Supprt, sure, but also Return Authorizations.
He's a glorified shipping clerk who is exceptionally skilled at kissing ass. Ask for one of the actual tech support employees.
----------------------------------------------
Very good point... I never really noticed that.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-09 16:46:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What B_Bob said. Oh, and you should find the tech support guy's boss' email address and/or phone number, and complain. Loudly. Repeatedly. And vaguely threateningly.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-02-09 16:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's your problem:
Robert
Supervisor - Alesis/Akai/Numark/Ion
Technical Support and Return Authorizations
See where it says "Supervisor"? Supervisor=clueless
Notice what he is supervisor of? Tech Supprt, sure, but also Return Authorizations.
He's a glorified shipping clerk who is exceptionally skilled at kissing ass. Ask for one of the actual tech support employees.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-09 16:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:15:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:06:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tech Support = Wasted money on MCSE or some other scam degree
You're dealing with someone who has minimal education.
====
*cough*English degree*cough*
==============================
No offense?
I solve more problems then some of the knuckleheads around here
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-02-09 16:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Only +1 because I didn't understand half the words.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-09 16:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you checking acoustics in a room? Or doing vibrational analysis?
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:55:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"It's flat, like my stupid head"
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
ass. now the whole computer lab is staring at me.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:46:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:03:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
"I have a question for you. Do you have any information about the filter response of the HD24?"
This was the question you emailed to the tech support right?
Your really expect an answer to that email? REALLY?
I wouldn't bother a tiny bit if I was them...
------------------------------------------------
You're obviously in tech support, since you got so mad.
One thing you should learn is NEVER make a question any more complicated than it has to be. We're talking about an audio company here. There job is to know the filter and frequency response of their products. The answer to the question "Do you have any information about the filter response of the HD24?" is simple: "Take a look at this .pdf of the response."
Fluff, sounds to me like you're a fucking idiot.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:39:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck MATLAB, fuck it in its stupid ass.
You'd be better off asking the engineer who made the thing, not some dipshit HS dropout.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:29:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You and I would really get along. 3dB rolloffs, frequency responses.... ahhh the good ol' days.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:28:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
in my line of work, you dont have to worry about Db's or tech support. Fuck them all.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My Nuts, My Nuts, my Nuts are in your Butt!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to give you a +2 because you are obviously frusterated and I feel bad. Tech Support people generally suck. However, I have no idea if this post is any good or not because pretty much the only words I understood throughout the whole thing was the title.
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:08:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
I do tech support, and had to call the networking group a few times. This particular networking group is the biggest bunch of idiots I have ever dealt with. I have worked with other network folks that were amazing and very helpful; but the netowrk support was outsourced (Still in America, just to dumb people) and now we have to deal with Slingblade Carl try to find his tech manual on how to look up the list for the phone number of the guy that can call the other guy to help me out.
Sometimes I want to jump into a hot tub....with a toaster
Fuck technology
----
Slingblade Carl... hehe!
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:08:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Here at my company we like to call them "The Helpless Desk".
------------------------------
Ours is "The Useless Group".
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:22:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't they use those machings to locate and eliminate noise in cars?
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:21:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got into some work and forgot which post I'm reviewing. I'll just assume this is good and give you a +2
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:18:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Huh??? My brain hurts after reading all that, but I feel your pain, the tech guys here having problems plugging in a toaster...
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:06:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tech Support = Wasted money on MCSE or some other scam degree
You're dealing with someone who has minimal education.
====
*cough*English degree*cough*
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your ire amuses me
Right now, there are exactly 3 tech support people working on the chick in next cube's computer. She just started about two weeks ago. They installed Hyperion, it was working fine. She came in the next day and it was gone. The claim is that CorpTax is interfering with it somehow but every single day, they have to reinstall Hyperion. Then for reasons that none of us understand, they assigned her case to the Denver office. They guy in Denver asked her if there was someone else in the office here who knows more about this program than he does.
good times
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here at my company we like to call them "The Helpless Desk".
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:08:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I do tech support, and had to call the networking group a few times. This particular networking group is the biggest bunch of idiots I have ever dealt with. I have worked with other network folks that were amazing and very helpful; but the netowrk support was outsourced (Still in America, just to dumb people) and now we have to deal with Slingblade Carl try to find his tech manual on how to look up the list for the phone number of the guy that can call the other guy to help me out.
Sometimes I want to jump into a hot tub....with a toaster
Fuck technology
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:08:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think my head just exploded .......
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tech Support = Wasted money on MCSE or some other scam degree
You're dealing with someone who has minimal education.
Good luck
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That was you?
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-02-09 15:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"I have a question for you. Do you have any information about the filter response of the HD24?"
This was the question you emailed to the tech support right?
Your really expect an answer to that email? REALLY?
I wouldn't bother a tiny bit if I was them...