SDSEWBA - Some day soon everything will be acronyms (583 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Walrus_King <jamespeddle.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-10 11:58:38 EST
I had the distinct pleasure of working in a school a while ago. I was their network manager, I suppose this was my first real job. Part of my job involved making sure that the kids weren't up to no-good on my network, this involved the usual searches for porn (which often yielded some quite interesting results) and monitoring what they were up to.
The kids had started to get clever. Before I started they were basically allowed to screw with the system and when I joined it was my job to tighten it all up. A trick they had learnt was to store the pictures in word documents. I was first alerted to this when one of the kids named a word document sexy.... and the file was over 100MB, needless to say I quickly cracked down on this, suspensions were issued out like they were going out of fashion and people started respecting the system. Another problem which I encountered (other than school girl crushes, I was 17 at the time) was that the kids kept stealing the mouse balls, the reason that they started doing this was so they could get outside and throw them at each other. This actually caused one or two injuries, I don't know if you've ever peeled the rubber off of a mouse ball but inside there is just a steel ball. I was away when this started happening and my assistant started super gluing all of the mice shut. I had to inform him that we would no longer be able to open them to clean them if he carried on this course of action... something along the lines of;
"What are you doing?"
"Super gluing the mouses shut so that the kids can't steal the balls"
"Dickhead!"
"What?"
"Well now we can't clean the fucking balls, those grubby little bastards are going to find this out and rub shit all over them, then we're going to have to un-do all the screws to clean the fucking things!"
"Oh....sorry"
"Look it's no problem, it was an easy mistake to make."
"What super gluing the mice?"
"No, trying to think for yourself, and it's mice!"
This may sound like I was overly cruel but it's the way we always spoke to each other, you have to bear in mind when you work at a school your not allowed to swear at the kids and you've not even allowed to shout at them. The teachers can, the support staff can't. So insulting each other constantly was our way of releasing pressure. I actually instigated a rule so that at the end of every lesson the little bastards had to turn the mice over and the teacher who was supervising them would walk around the room and check all the balls we still in place.
But to my main grievance... chat sites.
It didn't matter how many I blocked, they still found more, when I instigated a rule so that anything with the word chat in it was blocked, they still found more. Everything that I did they still found more. Now this didn't cause a problem in lessons, they worked in their lesson time (for the most part) it was at the ICT club (what a gay name) after school. Strictly speaking they were supposed to work, but I let them have a bit of lax and go on non school-work related sites.
I used to sit in my office and remotely monitor what they were up to, they would send e-mails, browse games sites and...hang on....chat. Now I'm not a spoil sport, but there is a very good reason that we don't allow chartrooms, it's all to do with grooming and perverts pretending that they were kids. One occasion I was monitoring someone who was chatting, just pressing print screen now and then so I would have a pile of evidence to dump on them. This kid was barely 13 and the conversation went something like this...
Littlemiss2001: Hi
Isucku-usuckme: Hi
Littlemiss2001: How are you?
<interlude, okay I'll cut the crap out>
Isucku-usuckme: so how old are you?
Littlemiss2001: 15
<interlude: Lie>
Isucku-usuckme: What size titties do you have?
Littlemiss2001: 34C
<interlude: That's another god damn lie>
Isucku-usuckme: Do ya wanna cyber?
Isucku-usuckme: what school do you go to?
Littlemiss2001: (Censored school name)
Littlemiss2001: yeah ok, what are you wearing?
The stupid girl actually told this bloke where she was going to school
She hadn't given out any personal info yet except the school name so I decided to stop the conversation there. She didn't actually get suspended just had a stern talking to from one of the Senior management, she was always a quite kid but well behaved.
And then the worst kind of conversation, I was walking around and hadn't actually spotted a chat window, but when I went back to my office I found this one.
user: Hi
Pervert: Hi asl
user: 16 f bucks u?
Pervert: cool 17 slough
user: rumorf
Pervert: m
user: cool wu?
Pervert: nal u?
user: ssdd
Pervert: gpic?
user: S2R
Pervert: sorry none on this machine <wow an intelligible sentence>
user: k
Pervert: wdyl2d
Pervert: hello?
Pervert: helllllllloooooooooo?
user: soz
Pervert: wwy
user: tos
pervert: oh
pervert: evar cybered?
<seems to get off knowing that there is a teacher about>
user: btdtgts
pervert: dyw2
user:k
pervert: td2m
user: I grab you by the crotch
user: lol
pervert: toyt
user: wiwh then I could be nifoc
pervert: twbn
user: wywh
This is where I came in. I quickly put a stop to the conversation and then spent ages deciphering it. Did you understand a word of it? ok here we go.
user: Hi
Pervert: Hi asl (age, sex, location)
user: 16 f bucks u? (16 female bucks, you?)
Pervert: cool 17 slough
user: rumorf (are you male of female)
Pervert: m (male)
user: cool wu? (what's up?)
Pervert: nal u? (not a lot, you?)
user: ssdd (same shit different day)
Pervert: gpic? (got a picture?)
user: S2R (send to receive)
Pervert: sorry none on this machine
<wow an intelligible sentence>
user: k (okay)
Pervert: wdyl2d (what do you like to do)
Pervert: hello?
Pervert: helllllllloooooooooo?
user: soz (sorry)
Pervert: wwy (where were you?)
user: tos (teacher over shoulder)
pervert: oh
pervert: evar cybered?
<seems to get off knowing that there is a teacher about>
user: btdtgts (been there done that got T-shirt)
pervert: dyw2 (do you want to?)
user:k (okay)
pervert: td2m (talk dirty to me)
user: I grab you by the crotch (----- how the hell does that turn anyone on? I mean honestly, infact how does a long list of acronyms turn anyone on)
user: lol
pervert: toyt (take off your trousers)
user: wiwh then I could be nifoc (wish I wasn't here then I could be nude in front of computer)
pervert: twbn (that would be nice)
user: wywh (wish you were here)
I do mean honestly, what kind of crap is this. How can people speak like this. Is it a deliberate way of trying to make sure that parents can't see what their kid is writing. When I have kids their not going to be allowed near the computer till their 20, I don't care if it debilitates them in future life, it's either that or have to spy on them!
User Reviews
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-03-01 12:41:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ow.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-01 04:26:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-03-01 04:08:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy hell! When did people start talking like this, and where the fuck was I at the time?!
==============================
The same thing that happens to the rest of us.
You got old.
My head a splode.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-03-01 04:08:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy hell! When did people start talking like this, and where the fuck was I at the time?!
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2005-02-10 18:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh, I have to be honest. I didn't manage to decypher it all, I used an on-line thingy-ma-jig for half of it, and my little sister for the rest.
Ok a fair portion was me, but props to my sis.
/oh yeah she's teenage and stupid
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-02-10 17:15:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because you were able to decipher that, my head would have exploded, and my blood would have shot at the celing like a fountian.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:35:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My head hurts now, thanks.
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:17:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Teenage kids are cybering with perverts all the time, my job was to stop them and make them more aware of the dangers that they were facing.
Remeber the Blink 182 saga, all the kids that over-ran the site, well they could have been redirecting thier attention else where, such as chat rooms.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-10 12:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
13 year old kids are cybering with perverts at school? That's lovely.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-02-10 12:38:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reading the undeciphered version almost made my head explode.
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-02-10 12:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I give you mad props for decipheirng that...
Fatatmms (Fuck all those anacronyms they make me sick)