My Pwesome American Singles.com profile + camwhore (1066 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.5 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by BongZilla (View user info) at 2005-02-10 13:35:31 EST
I was searching one of my favorite sites, collegehumor.com, and one of the daily links was to the dating website American singles.com. So I'm bored and have nothing to do, so I figured fuck it, and made a sweet profile, so here goes.
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About Me
I'm currently studying a pre-med curriculum in history. I plan on later attending UCLA medical school. I enjoy sports, the Chicago White Sox and Philadelphia Eagles, beer, working out, golf, hockey, and big blocks. I like my beer cold, my steaks rare, my cars fast, and my women faster.
You(me) are looking for: I'm looking for a fun, hot, not sutpid, witty gal who enjoys many things like I do. Those who are not hot and/or like the Yankees, Red Sox, or Patriots and/or New York Giants, need not apply.
My idea of the perfect first date: I want to go out, have fun, get to know someone. As long as it's along those lines and you're not an idiot. It'll be a fantastic date. And maybe you'd show me your boobs, that would be pretty awesome too.
My perception of an ideal relationship: Someone who will enjoy being around me, but also give me some space, because if you're clingy I will kick you the hell out. Or Someone who is hot, not dumb, and shows up naked with beer. That would be awesome.
What I've learned from my past relationships: That a lot of girls are dumb. I don't have patience for fakes or girls who "front". If you're not hot and dumb, I'll show you the curb before you can say valley girl. Beeyotch.
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I wonder what kind of e-mails I'm going to get. I will keep you updated.
Now here is a picutre of me with 2 bottles of Cristal, because I'm a fucking baller. If you don't know what "Cris" is, please refer to P.Diddy.
User Reviews
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-11 15:36:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jimmy, don't be jealous because I've been chatting online with babes, all day.
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-02-11 14:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You look alot worse in this picture than your first
Submitted by Eric_the_Awful (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:06:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My comments aren't valid because I don't have some sort of "uber" rating? I was making a comment on the usage of mis-keyed words. Sounds like someone needs a BongWater Enema. Go suck a dick.
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-02-10 19:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm currently studying a pre-med curriculum in history."
That oughta get you a few hits from the imbecilic split-tails.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-10 18:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh. Didn't read the reviews. I'm an idtoi.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-10 18:10:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53884
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Cristal.
Oh, and please tell me that your spelling of 'stupid' was intentional.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-10 18:06:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thats not groomed baby, thats all natural.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-10 18:00:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
why do all of the men on this site seem to have more perfectly groomed eyebrows than the women?
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-10 16:31:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahaha. I didn't read the post but sweet jesus, that's the gayest picture I have ever seen. a +2 for you, my big gay friend.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-10 16:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about Eric_the_Awful
User id: 15837
Registered on or around: 2005-01-25 17:43:58
# Messages posted: 1
# Reviews written: 5
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 15
# Hits: 367
Average rating of all messages: 1.69
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Who are you again? dude, don't talk to me about shit like that. more like Eric_the_toolbox.
Submitted by Eric_the_Awful (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Pwesome? Come on, if you're going to get the artful trend of mis-keying words, it should be Swesome. This is under the rules that OWNED has been mis-keyed and popularized into PWNED.
My favorite case of this transcended into some retard I use to hear in Teamspeak would actually say "Pee-owned" when he killed another player...
Well suck me sideways.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:49:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-10 14:11:21 (#)
Ranking: 1
"Cris" taste like bubbly Corona. I'll take a 30 rack of PBR before a sip of cristal.
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Haha thats all my friend drinks.. at least it goes down somewhat smooth. Shotgun a few and you're good to go.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It IS Ray Liotta.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:04:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Honestly, You could give me a bottle of $3 shitty Spumante champagne, and more often than not I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Cris is good though, you taste a little bit of apples. But for the money it's not worth it, but it was once in a lifetime thing. We had a suite at the hard rock, and we had to be like ballers that night. But for the money, I'd rather have 8 Kegs.
BTW, I've never ever been comapred to Ray Liotta, and i think it's the just expression im making.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 for being a "baller"
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-10 14:22:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2005-02-10 14:15:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ray Liotta!
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Jeebus!!!
It's scary.
-Dave
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-10 14:20:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2005-02-10 14:15:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ray Liotta!
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+1 for dat.
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2005-02-10 14:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ray Liotta!
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-10 14:11:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Cris" taste like bubbly Corona. I'll take a 30 rack of PBR before a sip of cristal.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-02-10 14:07:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
had my first experience with Cris a few weeks ago. woke up not knowing where i was or how i got there. good shit though.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:50:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you should be pouring the cristal over some beyotches
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:44:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Someone who is hot, not dumb, and shows up naked with beer."
*ejaculates*
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:44:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thats becasue you don't fuck with Cris.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, your eyes are about to go shooting out of your skull.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:41:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cute.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:41:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if anyone photoshops a cock in my hand theyre jealous because I got Cris.
and on a side note. please dont photoshop cocks in my hands.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll plus two you cause next week this picture will have you jerking off two guys
PS CONTEST # 5
FRONT PAGE BABY!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you want cocks photoshop in your hands don't you?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny pic. I'd date you.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-10 13:37:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hehe I fixed the "stupid" in the "what im looking for seciton. how ironic.