The International Buddhist Conspiracy (624 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.09 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Umbilical_Cord (View user info) at 2005-02-10 15:04:21 EST
While easily fooled conspiracy theorists (http://www.ubersite.com/m/59207) rant on about the Zionists, Illumnati and Bush-Saudi conspiracies, there is a much more sinister plot for world domination going on. All this has been set up as a diversion to the true aggressors - the Buddhists.
What? Never heard before? Fortunately, you haven't or you may have found yourself put into a state of "perminant meditation"
Oh yes, and I suppose you thought they were the victims of China's invasion of Tibet. They do make perfect victims, don't they? The invasion was, in fact, part of a plot orchistrated by high ranking Buddhists in an attempt to gain western sympathies, and swing the plot for Buddhist domination into effect.
Since the 1960's the Buddhists have been invading America's west coast, slowly taking over the chemically weakened minds of left-leaning individuals. Already they are planting seeds in western governments. Their strategy is to infiltrate the enemy with ideas of world peace and harmony, until westerners become such raging pussies that the Dali-Lama can simply march his way into the White House while the army either meditates or is so weakened by a diet of tofu and rice that they cannot fight.
There seems to be somewhat of a clash between some of the five major world religions in the last few centuries, especially since September 11th, which, as the International Buddhist conspiracy would like you to believe, was a secret plot carried out by evil Bush-Saudi-Zionist-oil-barons who would like you to believe that it was actually a plot carried out by evil Muslim fundamentalists.
Christians vs. Muslims
Muslims vs. Jews
Christians vs. Jews.
Christians vs. Hindus
Muslims vs. Hindus
Notice someone missing from the picture?
Ever play Risk? Where everybody attacks eachother, except the little guy with the pink pieces who's been chilling in Thailand the whole game, who suddenly comes out and before you know it, he's got Asia.. North America... The World.
You have been programmed to laugh at the mere mention of a conspiracy, to scoff at the boy who cries wolf, even when the wolf, who so innocently appeared to be meditating and eating organic food, is upon you.
User Reviews
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2005-02-10 21:28:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-02-10 19:31:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 your arse for such a crock of shit. Even if this is sarcasm, it's shite sarcasm.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-10 18:14:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ummm Thailand?
you mean Australia and Siam
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:53:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:12:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
*fart*
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huh huh huh
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:49:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:42:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And.....this is a bad thing?
Submitted by AnotherStupidUsername (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm assuming this is sarcasm. If so, nicely done.
Submitted by The_Grammar_Nazi (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:40:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What about the Ejaculation Control Conspiracy? They're the ones behind EVERYTHING! And you're all blind to it! Spilling your seed willy-nilly, not giving a tinker's cuss to sweep for bugs and hidden cameras! I bet you don't even check your laundry for loose man-chowder! But the ECC does! They know all about your little winky whacking exploits! You'll see! YOU'LL ALL SEE!!!!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Everyone knows that Australia, Southeast Asia, and Oceania are the key to winning in Risk.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*fart*
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-10 15:06:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"...the little guy with the pink pieces who's been chilling in Thailand the whole game..."
in any other situation you'd be right. but that guy got his world rocked by one MFer of a tsunami. i never liked risk anyway.