Dreams demolished by a golden stream (651 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <jawshtimiz.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-10 17:44:45 EST
Assuming you live in an occasionally cold climate, do you remember days that you'd be outside in the snow doing god-knows-what? Perhaps making designs in the snow or just fucking around. What about times that you had to piss and decided to indulge the snow with your urinary art? We've all pissed in the snow, but have you ever thought anything negative to come of it?
Me neither.
Until.
One night, perhaps a month or two ago, me and a couple buddies decided to get a little woozy and split a 30 rack. After pretty much drinking about a dozen beers apiece, we decide, "Hey, let's go outside and, I don't know, find an adventure or some shit." That was the plan. The street I live on, however, basically goes around in a circle, with one small part of road veering off and extending into the rest of the world. We got to walking, and talkin and such, and it was starting to get pretty late. We had just been walkin around for what seemed like a couple hours and it eventually got to the point where it was absolutely pitch black dark outside, save an occasional few streetlights here and there.
Eventually- I ran off for a second to take a leak, which had been building in my system for some time. Deciding to be artistic, I start writing my name in the snow. It was perfect! My name was in almost immaculate penmanship. After releasing myself, I decided to stand in relief and bask at my beautiful addition to the scenery. But wait.
Am I in someone's front yard?
Ugh, I thought drunkenly, who gives a shit.
Wait, is that my house over there?
This struck me as something I should worry about, even slightly, but I figured, eh, nobody will notice.
That's the thing. It was completely bitingly cold out, this wasn't gonna melt away anytime soon. It was then that I a little more carefully observed my previous artwork. It was right on the front of a snowman, directly in the front of my neighbor's yard. My name, is deep yellow piss, is engraved across little Jimmy's masterpiece, which I was fully aware he spent all day doing.
Now, the dilemma. Do I stomp out his snowman? Erase the evidence? Aw, but the poor little boy's heart would surely be torn.
In my drunken state, I saw myself a martyr, by letting my dark yellow vandalism of used beer stay on my neighbor's snowman.
I haven't been able to look the Johnsons in the eye since.
Just thought I'd share.
User Reviews
Submitted by algermetiphist (user info) at 2005-02-10 23:31:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-10 19:26:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-2 for ruining a little kid's dreams...
Ah I'm just kidding. Good short read.
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2005-02-10 18:54:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha,
I haven't pissed in the snow in years, having said that.... it does't snow much in the South east of England
Submitted by Patheticus (user info) at 2005-02-10 18:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I pissed on my neighbor's dog once, but that's a different story.