A mystery! (693 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: blog
Rating: 1.3 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2005-02-10 19:25:04 EST
You all know how cellphone rebates work, right? When you sign up for a new plan, they give you a deal on a phone.
If you already HAVE a plan you get fucked, and you get to either keep the phone you have forever, or pay out the ass for another phone.
Except me. I get an employee accomodation, which means I don't have a contract, and I pay about 15 bucks a month for all the cellphone calling I desire.
When I want a new phone, I just cancel my current phone, go to the store, sign up for a contract, get the rebates, and then I rush home, call my rep, and get my plan switched over to the no-contract-cheap-employee price.
I do this about once a year. That means, once a year I have a new cellphone number.
This has never been an eventfull ordeal. I get the new number- tell everyone the new number- and carry on with my life.
Until This Time.
It all starts with my voicemail greeting:
"Hello. I can't get to the phone, obviously, so leave a message and I'll give you a call back. Thanks."
Then I got this message:
"You fucking bitch. You have some nerve, don't you? Some fucking nerve. Do you know what happens to people like you???" It was the gruff voice of a very angry man. I racked my brain- Who was that? Who did I piss off? What? Who?
Half an hour later:
"Do you KNOW what is going to happen to you??" His message started, "If you don't know, you're going to find out. Just wait."
Woah.
An hour later:
"Courtney- I hope you're fucking REAAAAAAAAAAAAADY FOR THISSSSSSSSSSSS". Courtney? I replayed the message just to be sure. "Courtney- I hope you're fucking REAAAAAAAAAADY FOR THISSSSSSSSSS."
Whew! Wrong number.
The next day a woman left a message:
"Sweetie- hey- call me back. I'm worried."
The day after that:
(same woman) "Courtney... please, call me or come over or something. I'm so worried. Please. This isn't like you, lets talk about this."
Hmmm... a little drama was unfolding on my voicemail! I considered changing my greeting to include my name- therefore alerting these random callers that they were calling the wrong number. I decided to leave the greeting as it was- I didn't want to miss out on the entertainment. I never get voicemails that are half as entertaining as Courtneys!
Today:
"This is Megan calling from Elbers Imports- Mr. Martin asked me to call and verify the appointment for today at 11:45- he's asking if you'd like to reschedule- We won't be getting our shipment until after 12:30. Please call us back."
An hour later:
"This is Dr. Magoo [actual name], I got your message about the appointment. Because of the importance and urgency of your visit, I will be able to get you in as soon as you'd like. Tomorrow maybe? Three O'clock? If you don't return my call, I'll assume that that time will work. In case of an emergency, do not hesitate to call my home number."
Just now:
Previous woman, "Courtney! I've been getting the weirdest calls for you- please... please... [sob] I don't know what to do!! [sob]".
WHO is this girl? What is she doing?
Oh God, I'm so curious!
User Reviews
Submitted by Dustbrother (user info) at 2005-02-25 09:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
mystery solved!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-02-11 18:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ashlee- I never answer if I dont know the number. I hate talking to people that I... uh... don't want to talk to.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-02-11 09:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe next time you should answer your phone?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-11 08:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We used to get calls like that when we first moved into our house from somebody that obviously didn't pay ANY of their bills. Funny how bill collectors won't believe that my name isn't Scott. Scott still apparently uses our number, because five years later, we get an occasional call for him.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-11 00:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 2 for Doctor Magoo
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-10 23:55:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cell phones are the tool of El Diable!!
Repent!!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-02-10 21:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Julie- That's a likely senario. I was thinking the doctor was a shrink.
But really- who would go to a doctor with a name like "magoo"? Is that even a REAL name that people have? Maybe it's a psydonym?!!
The possibilities are endless.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2005-02-10 21:04:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think Courtney was dating the yelling guy and then left him for the worried chick so now he's pissed. I also think Megan is selling Courtney some drugs but needs to leave a message like that so it sounds like she's just buying furniture or something just in case the pigs have tapped her phone line. Dr. Magoo is going to do plastic surgery on Courtney to turn here into a man so not only will she go unrecognized by the pissed guy, but also to please the chick for Valentine's day. Plus, the chick is a closet lesbo and can't take Courtney home to her family for Christmas as her girlfriend
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-02-10 19:40:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
find out, you better tell us.
linkwhore! http://www.ubersite.com/m/59221
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-10 19:31:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for some reason, my penis erected
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-10 19:30:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I want to know... Did she die?
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-02-10 19:29:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you better post any new ones