People dont deserve computers, and fuck you microsoft (670 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 1.5 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kraven <heckler420.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-11 13:34:54 EST
Today, is a fucking day from hell.... One thing i hate about working with people, in a small office is that i cannot scream, punch things, and shout profanities when i need to blow of steam. And since this is one of those times where i cannot go pace around my car and smoke a cigarette, im going to textally (kinda like verbally with text) bash Microsoft windows 98.
SO FUCK YOU MICROSOFT I FUCKING HATE YOU AND YOUR "PLEASE INSERT WINDOWS 98 DISK, REBOOT.. REMOVE DISK FROM DRIVE CLICK HERE WE NEED TO REBOOT, OK INSERT DISK, NOW THAT THE DISK IS INSERTED HELL LETS JUST REBOOT AGAIN SO THE CD-ROM DRIVE KNOWS THAT A DISK HAS BEEN INSERTED. OK REBOOT NOW THAT WE REBOOTED TO MAKE SURE THAT THE REBOOT SETTINGS WERE CHANGED AFTER THAT LAST REBOOT, NOW INSERT THAT DISK AGAIN AND FUCKING CHOKE ON THE FLOPPY DRIVE THAT DOESNT FUCKING WORK."
Ok, that helps alittle. Look people i know you guys are on computers probably just as much as me. But that doesnt mean you know what the fuck im talking about here. Any techies out there who do PC repair wanna give me an AMEN? This fucking jackass tried installing a network card, he lost his original windows 98 disk and hence forth had his brother copy2 a version for him on what i would like to note as the shittiest disk possible.
Now this mother fucker couldnt get the information to read from the disk, he knew how to follow dirrections, which can make any idiot into a semi-useful person on the computer, but no. This is where he fucks up and loses my respect, as if i had any for him to begin with. Fucking read headed buck-toothed hick, brings me that computer with that disk as if im going to have any fucking better luck. I am taking a break from fixing it right now because the latex gloves i've been wearing to help ward off the ever strong stench of cigarette smoke, and mule semen from my flesh started to irritate my hands.
I crack open this case to be met by some fucking huge ass dust elephant. Not just a dust bunny, this dust ball covered the whole inside of the case, where did he have this computer?! There was a stickish looking residue covering the side of the case that i dare not go near. (I so fucking wish i could tell a customer "no your computer is fucking dirty get it out of my office," but unfortunatly i need this job) I wanted to puke.
The only reason im posting this is so that you'll think hey, when i get home, maybe i should crack my case and clean off my shit so when it breaks people like the guy who posted that uber-article wont have to wear two pairs of gloves and a fuckin surgical mask to prevent nausia and the possibility of passing right the fuck out into an induced coma from fumes far more deadly than the asshole of a dead llama.
Oh, i remember now.. I posted this to bitch about microsoft and i left this out.. They fucking suck! Ok i fire this bitch up, right off the bat 4 .xvd errors, and a missing DLL. What the fuck dood.. you said all i had to do was install a nic... just a fucking hardware add on... This doesnt look good already.
So i sit down tool kit in hand and disks to spare. I install the nic, or so i thought, check in device manager, cool its all there. *Winipcfg* What, what do you mean you cant read the ip information. Ok lets reinstall TCP/IP... Cool its back in let me reboot for the umpfiftith time. Rockin its back up Cool im getting an ip ... its 169. but hey its a start. (release/renew) nothing.... (release/renew_) nothing... Fuck it i'll restart that'll flush out ip information and pull in a new address now that the cat5 is plugged in...
Yea so the computer boots, *winipcfg* cant read ip information... *Scratches head* Ok lets check the TCP/IP protocol make sure its still there.... nope its gone.. where the fuck did it go!
Reinstall, insert disk, reboot, reboot, CNTR-ALT-DEL, reboot, and this is where i am now.. Its time for me to go smoke a fucking cigarette.... I dont care if i only get 2 15s i'll just do 5 now and another 5 later and call it even.. Anyone here work for microsoft, leave me your personal information so i can come and shove every windows 98 disk i can get my hands on up your ass... then.. im going to Cntr-alt-del your fucking eyes so your ass falls to the ground kicking and screaming... Then im going to stab you with a fucking knife and hold it to your heart untill you die, I like to call that a hard reboot..
SO ONE MORE TIME, FUCK YOU MICROSOFT, FUCK YOU WINDOWS 98, FUCK YOU KURT WHO BRINGS THIS PIECE OF SMOKE SOOT, DUST AND MULE SEMEN INFESTED PIECE OF SHIT TO MY OFFICE.. i hope you fucking burn in hell.
User Reviews
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-04-05 09:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was better than the stuff I just -2 you on.
-Hobbs
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-11 16:52:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure if you got the memo about it, so in case you didn't:
The letter 'i', when used as a word in and of itself as a first person pronoun, must be capitalized. As in, "When I read this post, I wondered if you had perhaps reached your capital letter limit of the day, and if that was the reason that you had neglected to capitalize your 'I's."
No need to thank me- it's all in a day's work for LadyPlural, defender of capital letters and apostrophes.
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-02-11 16:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rofl, reading these reviews definatly helped my day!
I think i might almost have this think working as propper as windows can.
Rock on ppl.. enjoy your weekends.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-11 15:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
..I work for microsoft.. *Leans in next to the nearest guy, 'What's bart's address?'*
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-11 15:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-02-11 15:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never even had a pop-up, let alone a problem. GO APPLE!!!
Submitted by wtf_is_going_on (user info) at 2005-02-11 14:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just let it all out.
It's ok!
Submitted by Gollman (user info) at 2005-02-11 14:50:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I share your hatred of microsoft.
www.microsuck.com
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-02-11 14:39:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha, been there man... hahahaha
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-11 14:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
whoa
*cleans out case*
they alsways try to con me in the PC fixing shop for being a girl. and sometimes the nerds make me go into their back area where they build stuff to look at pcs.
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-02-11 14:09:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hehe Yay for me ranking myself! Jeanee you are now re-cool in my book...
As long as you know its wrong, and are will to share (with me) you rock!
Im going to trip my ass off on shrooms tonight and laugh this one over.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-02-11 14:01:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thank you!
oh god. i havent laughed this hard in a while.
woo!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:56:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No worries dude. I didn't mean to piss you off and make your day worse. Trust me, I still feel guilty about stealing that guy's weed. And, if I had any myself, I would share it with you.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey at least its Friday
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:55:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen. Preach it brother!
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:43:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
dude what do you know about laptops? mine stopped working the other day. it powers up but it doesn't boot up, AND there is nothing coming up on my monitor. AARGHGH i fucking hate these things. oh, and it's a compaq, i was told that's where my main problem was.
=====
Lol Well yea in a way compaq is the basic reason, but it could be a few different things...
Laptops work idealy the same way as a desktop, if your getting nothing! then it could be that the lcd display has gone bad, if the monitor looks like its on but nothing happeends (its kinda grey like its turned on) then something could be fucked up and you may just need to reinstall windows...
Yea jeanee today started off on the wrong foot... i got this piece of shit to work on and i heard you stealin ppls weed, made me mad because i dont have any weed ...
Rock on ppl... Fuck microsoft... and to the "Why windows 98 Why" guy...
If only i fucking knew hehe..
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen brother, amen.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aaaaaamen! Aaaaaamen! Amen! Amen!
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:44:28 (#)
Ranking: 1
Windows 98? Why?
Just ... why?
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:44:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Windows 98? Why?
Just ... why?
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude what do you know about laptops? mine stopped working the other day. it powers up but it doesn't boot up, AND there is nothing coming up on my monitor. AARGHGH i fucking hate these things. oh, and it's a compaq, i was told that's where my main problem was.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're in a bad mood today, aren't you? Yikes.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:38:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Now tell us what you really think.