gay categories (1552 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.47 on 67 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <whychunky.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-03-30 04:31:13 EST
this could be the most prejudiced shit i've ever said. but it's 100% based on scientific observation.
it seems that the steretypical person is excellent at categorizing. in fact, this could be the topic of the moment, so i'll throw in my observations about gays, entitled,
"faggot madness, tell your children"
the flaming faggot:
easily recognized by bleached hair, womanly walk and t-shirt tucked into tight low-cut jeans. often speaks homo fluently instead of english.
the openly gay:
this is the nice sensetive guy that girls love and men hate. these are actually often the most difficult gays to spot because they've accepted their homosexuality and gone on living relatively normal public lives.
the homophobic fag:
knows deep down that he is gay. probably whacks off to men, etc. usually exhibits the characteristic "niceness" of typical gays, but occasionally tries to fit in with the straight guys he admires so much by posing as one. easily spotted by the "i am soooooooo not gaaay!!" line.
the ignorant queer:
this is the most amusing of the group. this guy walks around in groups of girls, giggles at their jokes and, like the rest, is a "nice guy." he dislikes fist-fights and complains of people being mean. he thinks all men are turned on by other guys. if you are male, and someone does not immediatly come to mind in this category, it is you. trust me.
the feminist dyke:
ugly bitch who turned lesbian because no reasonably good-lucking guy would ever fuck her, innebriated or not.
the hot lesbian:
like leprechauns, these exist only in movies and certain rare places, like ireland.
anything i'm missing?
User Reviews
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you forgot about the sports queer. hes usually the guy on the team that gives one "pat" to the ass too many.
Submitted by Rae (user info) at 2004-03-22 02:30:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I tried to fit myself into a category but as you only have 2 for lesbians I find this discriminatory. I would show you why I dont fit in either bull-dyke or lipstick lesbian but someone else but I'm not a camwhore
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2003-09-24 07:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I write flute I mean the side-blown flute, not the recorder which has a large gay following
Thats the first thing that youve wrote that I laughed at yidele, well done.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-04-06 01:53:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
sucks and blows at the same time
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-04-06 01:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
sucks and blows at the same time
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2003-04-06 00:29:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by chunky (user info) at 2003-04-03 01:42:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hidden's attack preceded mine and was lamer. keep it up.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-04-01 23:52:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The original post was mildly amusing..but your attack on hidden was lame.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:16:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Ricky.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:16:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Ricky.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Ricky.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:15:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Ricky.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Ricky.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:14:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Ricky.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:14:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Ricky.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:14:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Ricky.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Ricky.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-01 22:13:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This will go on until it's safely in hell.
Submitted by chunky (user info) at 2003-04-01 21:50:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how long can this go on?
it is funny in a grating, hold the button, kind of way.
http://www.holdthebutton.com
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-01 12:46:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh good, I found my lid so now my chapstick won't get all nasty and covered with fuzz.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-01 12:46:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I had something else to say, but I dropped my chapstick lid and have to find it.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-01 12:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I had no clue, I feel so out of it.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-01 12:45:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Is this why your all pissed off at Hidden?
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-04-01 12:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, I think I heard Hendrix say "I am soooo not gay" one time. If this list is true, then we might be onto something(or Hendrix might be onto something anyways)
Peace,
STREETPUNK
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-04-01 11:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My Turn!
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-04-01 11:22:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My Turn!
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-04-01 11:22:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My Turn!
Submitted by goldphish (user info) at 2003-04-01 10:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah yidele I'm not bi. I do however think that if you have to post a list of stereotypically homosexual characteristics then maybe you're a little more fascinated with the subject than you think.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-03-31 09:00:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
KM, I'm sorry, but what did I tell you about coming up with your own ideas. *bitch-slap* stop being a puppy. Every time I feel you have some potential, you let me down. I'm starting to feel maternal toward you, so it's necessary that I beat you occasionally.
Yidele's categories where a lot funnier.
TheMan -
"...if you lick slit"
GOD, that's the first time I've heard it put quite like that. LOL.
YUK! I guess I'm a gay-prude. Hahahaha. FUCK, I have an Ellen visual in my head now. Sorry, I have to go back home and take another shower. I feel dirty.
Loren
Submitted by sky (user info) at 2003-03-31 08:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
crushed by numbers? rating war? that's right, ubersite is a popularity contest. and when you can't win homecoming queen, you come here hoping to get a 1.52. right. retarded you.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-31 01:50:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i couldn't. i tried REEEEEAAAAALY hard, but after the first few sentences, i had to run to the toilet and puke.
Submitted by chunky (user info) at 2003-03-31 01:44:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so i've pretty much been crushed by numbers here. move on.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1049092936286318633
hidden, do me a favor and read the damn thing before giving a -2.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-31 00:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hopefully there won't BE a next time. you have nothing to contribute to Ubersite. please spare us the next time you think of something this stupid...
Submitted by chunky (user info) at 2003-03-31 00:31:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
next time i'm sarcastic i'll spell it out for you all.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:42:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:42:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:42:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:39:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:39:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
counteract! lol!
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:29:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're not fit to lick hidden's nuts, although you apparently want to.
Rating war lol.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:29:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:28:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:28:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-03-30 23:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the ranking war?
i hope that was sarcasm.
Submitted by chunky (user info) at 2003-03-30 22:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for the morons out there, to make myself clearer. this +2 is to counteract the next gay statement hidden will make after i post this. i must stay ahead in the ranking war.
Submitted by chunky (user info) at 2003-03-30 22:26:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i give myself another plus two to counterract hidden.
yidele's actually on the right track, but i am not fond of long distance relationships, so i force my gay emotions into jealousy. i wish i had a gimp and a gay lover.
please beware that this is not a statement, is that right you cute-ass flyboy? therefore whatever gay-ass comment hidden makes next will not be a comeback, because, if i'm reading this correctly, i must be a teenager, because according to stereotype 3 of teenagers, they never make any sense.
i must have missed something.
and you also need to stop borrowing my boxers and marking them up with triangles and rainbows. i only said you could borrow them, and your ass is stretching them out. return them now, you fat bastard.
please imagine a girly giggle here.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2003-03-30 21:04:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Boy, you're not playing the game. You're supposed to respond with an assertion that some gay men are half decent looking as well, which would leave you open to a fag bashing .
BTW, if you feel the need to underscore that You're a straight woman, you're probably at least bi-curious or perhaps even a carpet munching grrl y'self. ( not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you)
Submitted by TheMan (user info) at 2003-03-30 20:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've met some decent looking lesbians, but they actually all fall under the category of 'Bi-sexual'. Of the straight up lesbians I've seen, they were all the most butchest women I've ever seen. Borderline lumberjack types.
Submitted by goldphish (user info) at 2003-03-30 20:14:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is completely fucking stupid. I could sit here and think of the top ten stereotypes of straight people and write them down but that wouldn't make any sense, because why make fun of straight people right?
P.S. There are some decent looking lesbians out there.
-- goldphish (straight woman)
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2003-03-30 19:30:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, at least you can't see the forest for the copulating faggots, hidden. All Chunky is saying here is that he/she/it adores you. he/she/it probably has your pictures as desktop wallpaper. This is a case of agressive wooing if ever I saw one ( and I've seen a few, some of them hillarious).
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-30 18:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"another plus two to counteract hidden's inevitable homoerotic comeback."
first of all, that made no sense, whatsoever. you've got to be a teenager. (no offense to the teenagers that actually DO have some intellect to contribute here)
1.) what exactly was so "homoerotic" about my review? and 2.) sorry, but i didn't see anything i said in that one sentence that was "counteracted" by your statement. 3.) also, a statement is not a "comeback" unless it is in reference to a previous statement, which there was none of, dipshit.
your post is pure crap and a waste of time. no one wants to read about gays unless they actually are gay, themselves. Chunky, since your small stent at Uber began, i haven't seen you contribute one single interesting thing. you're not funny, you're not smart, and you're not appealing in any way. i'm sure i'm going to get negative comments from you on everything from now on, but i'm telling you now; don't waste your time. i won't care.
Submitted by chunky (user info) at 2003-03-30 18:30:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
another plus two to counteract hidden's inevitable homoerotic comeback.
Submitted by chunky (user info) at 2003-03-30 18:29:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well hidden, i'm glad you gave a -2 without reading. i just hope you skimmed the fourth category, the "ignorant queer." you and the backstreet boys may identify.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2003-03-30 18:02:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You missed out on some obvious categories.
1) Politically queer, fagbot - not necessarily queer by nature, this rare specimen associates & identifies with queer friends to the extreme of vociferously supporting various radical queer endevours. Often seen screaming "we're here, we're queer, get used to it!". Shuns all direct contact until cornered whereupon he/she/it declares platonic friendship for the pursuer or suddenly declares undying love & turns into an octopuss.
2) lipstick lesbian, LUG - Lesbian Until Graduation is by definition a lesbian by choice. Treats Homosexuality as some sort of exclusive club, characterized by aggressive mooching & general symptoms of lipstic-lesbianism such as provocative clothing, hair fashons resembling early Cindy Lauper and an unerring sense of how far she can push the butch P.E majors without having to put out.
3) Care Bear, Teddy, Mr. Scoutmaster Sir! - Usualy a large, rotund white man, often bearded, lover of the great outdoors, scouting & pup tents. Sometimes a scoutmaster, but more often just a scout-wannabe. Never made it out of the weeblows ( for obvious reasons) for lack of "manly" bearing and propensity to linger on in the showers after everyone else has left. The only cub to ever earn a merit badge for backrubs. Dreams of being dominated by gay manly lumberjacks, cowboys, lethermen, firemen, policemen & other mythical gay creatures. Invariably a romantic with a heart of gold and an ass that could make a pier piling disappear. Caution! has been known to become violent when challenged!
4)Homo-niewiadomo ( Homo-thingfish ) - of unknown gender or gender identification. Uses alot of makeup & generaly has atrocious fashion sense. Androgynous in the extreme, has the unique power of stopping conversations with the ineviatble "what the fuck is that?!". In conversation enjoys having the advantage stemming from the fact that most languages conjugate verbs making direct conversation difficult by forcing its victim to decide on a particular gender form & then attacking that very form as insulting. Of course this subtlety is lost on English & German speakers, but there Homo-Niewiadomo takes advantage of it's prodigious power to make others uncomfortable. Not to be confused with gay goths. Rare.
5)Jailhouse queer, soap caddy, Bendover Bob, Wayne's Bitch, Jailhouse Punk - a being of otherwise undetermined sexual preference, forced into a sordid life of exchanging booty privilidge for protection & general Jailhouse contraband. known for smugling various objects in its distented & much abused colo-rectum. Avoids showers & laundry like the plague in mistaken hope that poor personal hygine or b.o will dissuade other felons from raping it. In later stages has to wear adult diapers due to loss of muscule controll/muscule ripping of the anal sphincter.
6) Interior decorator/busy professional queen - recognized by the unmistakable earmarks of professionalism, well adjusted & totaly dominant in it's chosen field of professional endevour. To all appearances a straight & successfull professional, IDBPQ does not hide nor advertise its sexual preference choosing instead to decorate its nest as a means of expressing the complex & oft claustrophobic pull of desire, frustration & success. The domicile of the IDBPQ is not a place to tread incautiously. Thousands of knicknaks, porcelain & glass thingys and useless end tables define lines of stress & axi if import unseen to the untrained eye. Fond of mirrors, miniature paintings & marble eggs. usually picks a stable mate, somewhat less nelly then it but not butch enough to break anything important.
7) Fagotti - woodwind players. For some uknown reason woodwind players tend to be gay with the possible exception of flute players who are simply insane. When I write flute I mean the side-blown flute, not the recorder which has a large gay following. There is a reason why the oboe/basoon is know as the fagot in italian, while the players are known as fagotti. There is something about the act of playing the woodwind which apparently draws oraly fixated young men & women.
I'd like to make an important distinction here, since brass players tend not to be AS gay as woodwind players, the larger the "caliber" of the piece, the less likely the player is to be gay. Tuba players are generaly manly while French horn & piccolo players are suspect.
8) Crested nazi queer, skinhead - raised on nutritionaly deficient diet of white supremacy stories & Nitzchean will to power, this poor specimen is involved in radical right causes because he likes the fashion & the smell of an angry crowd. Will sniff party members underwear & jockstraps when no one is looking, eventually with the actual party members IN the underthings. Controled by an overwhelming lust for blond aryan boot-boys, this seldom seen specimen will often condescend to be beaten or punished simply in order to be near to the leader whose anger is his ambrosia and whose abuse is his extasy. Spends a futile, mostly celibate life, in pursuit of ideas he does not understand & men who, by their very nature, are unavailable to creatures such as he. Sadomasochistic.
Submitted by TheMan (user info) at 2003-03-30 17:48:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ever find it funny how who a person is fucking has to be everyone elses business, and that somehow it makes them different? Like Ellen. Who gives a shit that you lick slit. I do that, and probably a hell of a lot better. Gay men who protest and make an issue out of their supposed oppresion are just little babies crying for attention. Kind of like the person who threatens to kill themselves. If you really want to kill yourself, you'd just do it, not tell anyone you were going to.
I don't care if you're gay, I don't care if you're not. There are so many other great reasons to hate someone; say perhaps you are a complete fucking moron.
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-03-30 17:25:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am sooooooooo not gay. But i don't think too many people here care that you aren't either.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-30 14:03:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm glad i only wasted 3 seconds of my life by skimming through this worthless dribble instead of reading the whole thing.
Submitted by The_Otter (user info) at 2003-03-30 12:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ever notice how a gay guy, usually the flamer type, gets offended when a straight guy says he doesn't care that the guy is gay?
I have a couple of gay friends, and when I meet their other gay friends, they try to get me to say something anti-gay so they can can piss and moan. Like when you speak to a black guy who tries to turn your words around to get you to say something racist.
What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar?
A flame thrower.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-03-30 12:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is gay.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2003-03-30 12:03:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Protester:
Stands outside of federal buildings bitching about how gays have it bad.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-03-30 10:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*lesbians
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-03-30 10:45:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im sure there are some normal lesbains out there...with...hair...