Dreams and Memories (357 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by March of flames <astheruinfalls> (View user info) at 2005-02-12 00:59:06 EST
Is there some sort of rule that says there must be rain on the day of a funeral? Why must the weather be congruent with the feelings of the people?
A feeling of dread and anguish sweeps over the small gathering of family members and close friends. Just like the rain and gray skies that hover delicately overhead. I search the faces for a hint of happiness. If only I could witness something... anything... that remotely resembles happiness, then maybe I could shred the mood of malice and sadness that I feel so strongly within me.
Why do I continue to stay sad? I know he's in a better place now, but I only wish he was here with me. He was my companion, my best friend, and my brother; why was he taken? I never even had a chance to say goodbye.
Why do I continue to feel such hatred for another person who only exists in the memories of loved ones, just like my brother? His best friend, one of my best friends, was also taken. It was his fault though; his actions caused my brother to lose his life, and me to lose one of the only things I've ever loved. But he's not the only one to blame. I guess I could blame the alcohol also, but that just wouldn't be fair. None of it is fair. I can't blame anyone or anything for what happened. It was just meant to be.
Actually there is one person I can blame, myself... maybe if I would've cared enough to say goodbye before he left that night things would be different. I took things for granted. I took a LIFE for a granted, and this is what I get in return: loneliness.
Rain comes down on top of me like thousands of pounds of guilt. The guilt hides my face from the others. It's what keeps my eyes to the ground, too shameful to look into the eyes of loved ones and see their tears. I know I shouldn't be guilty for something I never caused, but I can't help myself. What if the last thing that went through his mind before he was taken was, "I never even got to say goodbye to my little brother." I know when I found out what had happened that's the first thing that hit me like the reality of him being gone forever. I never got to say goodbye.
I can't take it anymore. Every time I concentrate on him all I can see is the car wreck over and over in my mind. Even though I didn't see it happen I can picture my brother's face as he comes to the realization that he would never live to see another day again.
Sometimes I only wish that it had been me instead of him. He never deserved this. He never did anything wrong to deserve a life cut short. He never deserved it. I did.
I only wish it had been different. I only wish, I could've said goodbye before it was too late.
----
Just after I found out what had happened I wrote something for a person who no longer existed. I wrote all of the feelings and emotions I had onto a single sheet of paper. It's my last gift to my brother, who deserved so much more then just some words written on a page. At the funeral I placed the sheet of paper with him as he was lowered into the ground. This is a short exert from it...
Dreams and memories are all that I have of you
Tears remind me of the person you once were
Though things will never be the same
I only wish you knew how much I loved you
Even though when I said it, it was too late
Somehow, I knew you heard me say goodbye
One final time
Goodbye...
User Reviews
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-12 21:50:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU! This was almost flawless, and then you ruined it with a misplaced comma. I hate you so very very much.
That said, your writing has improved dramatically since you started. Watch the commas, and keep up the good work.
Submitted by Parkinsuns (user info) at 2005-02-12 13:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-12 05:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-02-12 04:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59209
Submitted by Gollman (user info) at 2005-02-12 04:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-02-12 02:38:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-02-12 01:56:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Henceforth you shall be known as Sir of Flames, Dominator of All That is Awesome.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-02-12 01:13:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wallace?