Fun With Real E-Mail, Part 7 (Now with more Brian!) (6753 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fun_with_real_e-mail
Rating: 1.93 on 129 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom Sorrell (View user info) at 2005-02-14 12:16:49 EST
PART 6: http://www.ubersite.com/m/59038 (Part six has links to the previous 5. I don't feel like linking to all of them.)
I trust this needs no introduction by now.
-------------------------------
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Mary
Subject: Scanning
Are you scanning today?
--
To: Mary
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Scanning
No, I'm very busy, I'll scan tomorrow.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Mary
Subject: re: scanning
Look Tom, I need this stuff scanned really bad.
--
To: Mary
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Scanning
That's it, I can't do this anymore. From now on, don't call me Tom. I refuse to be called by that slave name another day. From this moment forward, I will be called Eki Fa-Clang Shabazz Jihad.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Mary
Subject: re: Scanning
WHAT? Listen here, I NEED this stuff scanned in, it's VERY important. You WILL do it today.
--
To: Mary
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Scanning
Oh, yes ma'am. I be sorry for da backtalk. Please don't raise yo voice, massa. Jet me juss strap up ma overalls and come in from da cotton fields and I do it right away for you, massa. Is there anything else the lady would like? Please don't take da whip to me again!
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Mary
Subject: re: Scanning
What is wrong with you? Why can't you just e-mail like a normal person?
--
To: Mary
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Scanning
Missus, I'm lucky I can even work da keyboard after I spend all them hours in da cotton fields. Them cotton thorns hurt, but not as much as that whip you got. I gotsta find me a way outta here 'fo I lose more skin.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Mary
Subject: re: Scanning
TOM! THAT IS NOT FUNNY!!
--
To: Mary
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Scanning
The name be Eki Fa-Clang Shabazz Jihad, and I'm not trying to be funny. Don't be insensitive to my plight.
-------------------------------
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: Honestly
Hey "Eki Fa-Clang," do I have to sell you to another firm?
--
To: Brian (THE BOSS)
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: no suh
Please suh, please keep me here. I promise to be good and leave all da white women alone.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: ...
I swear, you are a human resources nightmare...
--
To: Brian
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ...
You know who else was a problem for his boss when he first started out?
Jesus.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: re: ...
So you're comparing yourself to Jesus?
--
To: Brian
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ...
Are you kidding? I smell like peppermint and Polo Sport cologne, I wear a shirt and tie, and I am clean shaven. Jesus, on the other hand, probably smelled like camels and dirty feet, he never shaved or cut his hair, and he wore a robe-type thing all the time.
Who would you rather have working for you? Smelly robe guy or me?
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: re: ...
Well, that depends. Can you turn water to wine?
--
To: Brian
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ...
No, but I can tap dance like Liza Minelli.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: re: ...
Really??? Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?
--
To: Brian
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ...
Um... no. Forget I said anything. Oh, look at all this work I have to do!!
-------------------------------
To: Tom Sorrell
From: LOTI (Lord of the Idiots - see part five)
Subject: lunch
Tom, do you know if we're having lunch today?
--
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: lunch
Yea, I think we're getting it from Thènardier's.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: LOTI
Subject: re: lunch
Thenardier's?? I've never heard of it. What kind of food do they serve?
--
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: lunch
Oh, you know, the usual: Kidney of a horse. Liver of a cat. I've heard they also make their own sausages and then fill them up with "this and that."
I think they own and operate a hotel also, but it's quite pricey. They charge you if you look at yourself in the mirror too often or sleep with the window shut. They're kind of strange people... came over from France... really old... fight a lot.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: LOTI
Subject: re: lunch
What on earth are you talking about?
--
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: lunch
You know what, nevermind.
(**Author's note: If you get that, I love you. If not, don't feel bad...**)
-------------------------------
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Kelly
Subject: hey
Tom, I dropped off several documents that need scanned. Please do it ASAP.
--
To: Kelly
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: hey
Acronyms, huh? You ever heard of "SOL?" Because that's what you are.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Kelly
Subject: re: hey
HAHA Seriously, when are you scanning?
--
To: Kelly
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: hey
HAHA Seriously, I'm not.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Kelly
Subject: re: hey
But these need to go in...
--
To: Kelly
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: hey
I've noticed that you have Beatles wallpaper on your computer, did you ever hear their hit song "I am not going to scan"? It goes like this:
When you... say to me...
"When are you going to scan?"
It makes me... want to hurt you.
And break your stupid hands...
I am not going to scan... aa-aa aa-aan.
I am not going to scan.
And when you go away I'm happy... inside.
Because that means I get to go... and get high
and get high...
AND GET HIIIIIIIIGH!!!!
Yea you... are annoying.
So you can go to hell.
And I... will assume...
that you're going to teeeeeeell.
You go ahead and tell... el-el el-el-el el.
You go ahead and tell.
-------------------------------
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: WHY?
My God, why the Beatles? Why must you ruin everything I hold sacred? First Karate Kid, then Jesus, now The Beatles. What's next?
--
To: Brian
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: WHY?
Well Brian, now that you mention it, your wife is the one who taught me how to tap dance... and salsa... and um, lambada. You know about the lambada, right? The Forbidden Dance?
Lam-bada!! LAAAM-BAAADAAAAA!!
She told me she learned it from Enrique Iglesias, I hope this isn't a shock to you...
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: re: WHY?
Nah, he's an old family friend. He likes to throw dinner parties.
--
To: Brian
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: WHY?
Does he try to make you touch his mole at his dinner parties? If I had a mole like that, I'd walk around making people touch it.
"Touch my mole and I shall sing for you."
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: re: WHY?
You're just a big bowl of wrong, now get back to work...
User Reviews
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-02-27 22:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-04 23:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: lunch
Oh, you know, the usual: Kidney of a horse. Liver of a cat. I've heard they also make their own sausages and then fill them up with "this and that."
I think they own and operate a hotel also, but it's quite pricey. They charge you if you look at yourself in the mirror too often or sleep with the window shut. They're kind of strange people... came over from France... really old... fight a lot.
(**Author's note: If you get that, I love you. If not, don't feel bad...**)
=--==--=-=-==--=-=-=-=
Whoa... I just got that... I love that old song... my Grandfather sings it... what's it called??
Submitted by m0ke34 (user info) at 2005-03-11 14:42:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would let you fuck my sister.
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-02-20 20:19:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-02-18 13:23:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GET BACK TO SCANNING JIHAD!
JALALALALALALALAAAAA!
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-02-18 13:22:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pure comic genius
Submitted by lizzard (user info) at 2005-02-17 23:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i know this has been said before, but i want a brian formy boss. that would rock very much.
Submitted by voken (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TragicKingdom (user info) at 2005-02-16 19:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everybody raise your glass, and raise it up the master's ass! everybody raise your glass to the master of the house....
LOl i loved it, good post.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-02-16 14:12:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"You know who else was a problem for his boss when he first started out?
Jesus. "
---
My favorite yet.
Submitted by tragiksaint (user info) at 2005-02-16 07:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
absolutely fuckin classic !
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-15 22:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Melany (user info) at 2005-02-15 22:44:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you hear the people sing?
---------------
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men.
It's the music of a people
who will not be slaves again.
When the beating of your heart
echos the beating of the drum
There is a life about to start
when tomorrow comes.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-15 22:45:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Bart.
The wife and I might be going to a U2 concert up in your neck of the woods in early May. Any advice on lodging, etc... ?
Submitted by Melany (user info) at 2005-02-15 22:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you hear the people sing?
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-02-15 22:23:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-15 21:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, if you think it's worthy of B@W, submit it to Bart.
Thanks.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-02-15 21:38:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
never fails.
flawless.
B@W?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-15 21:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. you make me feel so uncool it's scary.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:32:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the funniest.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:19:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The awesomeness continues.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-15 13:10:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
C-Court, FUCK the movie. The musical is where it's at.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-02-15 12:05:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew I had seen that name somewhere...Thénardiers (I always think their name was "Tenanciers" (tenants)). My final french dissertation was on an excerpt of that book. Writing thousands of words to decorticate a small banal paragraph tends to piss me off. The movie is not so bad.
Oh and yeah, funny post.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-15 10:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-15 05:22:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for being an obnoxious and annoying little arsewipe, and because I got the Les Mis reference.
----------
Ow...
Do you hear that? That's the sound of my heart breaking into a million tiny pieces. Thanks, Stin.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-02-15 10:26:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're just a big bowl of wrong.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-02-15 05:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You truly are a big bowl of wrong. And I love that about you
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-15 05:22:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for being an obnoxious and annoying little arsewipe, and because I got the Les Mis reference.
Submitted by MisterOCD (user info) at 2005-02-15 05:07:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2005-02-15 02:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The jesus thing made me laugh pretty hard.
+2...and if I could another for the Calvin and Hobbes reference (maybe unintentional) from shlongy
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-02-14 23:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorrell, you're lucky you work in an open minded workplace.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-14 23:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-14 23:29:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My neighbors think I am insane... I just read 5 6 and 7 in a row, and I think I laughed up a lung.
Did I mention the pulled rib-cage muscle?
Did I?
Cause I seriously, thanks to you, I seriously think I might have just done something worse to it, because breathing fucking hurts...
But I can not give this any less than the max for life.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-14 23:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom, you rock. Find a way to clone Brian and put him in every workplace.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:37:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, good one.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't fret the "hate", lojope...she's not exactly thrilled with her choice of a husband, either.
You'd hate everyone on the planet too, if you were around Tommy 14 hours a day.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know, I know...
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:31:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. Ok. Tell her I meant no offense. 'Twas all in good fun.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously, she hates you.
stop
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:26:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, Tom, I'm all about the wife joining in. She must be cool if she married you. :o)
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:22:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:16:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Les Mis.
Love me.
-----------------
My wife wants to fight you. Or was that fuck you... hang on.
***SLAP***
Ow, she hit me in the eye. Ok, I guess that was fight...
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:14:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
You know Teddy Jujitsu or his whore of a sister? I fucked her.
---------------------------------------------------
Both. I actually had intimite relations with Teddy. Intimite as in very friendly, not as in sexual you freak.
He told me about his first puppy Snuggles and we laughed and laughed. Then he tickled my feet and I peed my pants. Then he got me a new pair of pants but they were too small so I wore nothing but my underwear. Then you walked in and stared at my johnson and the moment was ruined. Thanks a lot.
Oh Teddy Jujitsu: where art thou? Where hast thou gone?
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sonofabitch. That is what happens when you rate without reading the reviews first.
Love me anyway?
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:16:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Les Mis.
Love me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You know Teddy Jujitsu or his whore of a sister? I fucked her.
Submitted by JohosaPhaTZ (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:09:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Mary
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Scanning
That's it, I can't do this anymore. From now on, don't call me Tom. I refuse to be called by that slave name another day. From this moment forward, I will be called Eki Fa-Clang Shabazz Jihad.
--------------------
PLUS.
FUCKING.
TWO.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pssh...
I know Ju-Jitsu, mother fucker.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't care if these are embellished or just plain shenanigans. They're great.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
JohnyX sees what I see...nancyboy.
It ain't difficult to spot.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:16:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nancyboy??
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:09:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:07:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What makes these so great is that one of these days, you're going to fuck up and REALLY say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and then it will be curtains for you, nancyboy!
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:02:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Eek! Two positives in one post from my nemesis.
That's like Lex Luthor helping Superman take away Zod's powers... only not really because Lex was still trying to betray him. Hmmm. I guess it's not like that at all.
It's probably more like all the WWF wrestlers teaming up to throw Yoko Zuna's fat ass out of the ring during an early 1990s Royal Rumble.
That was a kick-ass Royal Rumble.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-14 18:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
best one yet hahahahaha
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 18:16:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I try and make everyone's day a bit more surreal.
Submitted by lizzard (user info) at 2005-02-14 18:07:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I please work where you do? That has to be among the best jobs ever.
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Booya suckafish!!
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:36:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why the fuck are so many "men" excited about a Les Miserables quote? That's just ghey.
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:34:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeez Louise, two thumbs up.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:29:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These email posts are the best idea ever. Throw in the Les Miserables reference and I wish I could give this a +5.
Submitted by transhuman (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:27:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
The best yet.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:38:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy hell, Shlongy gave me a +1. I will now peel the skin off my body.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:18:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by dethcow (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When you say "yessssss" it sounds like steam releasing.
"Throw out your hands, stick out your tush..."
"OK, faggots... listen up."
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:59:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These make me say "yessssssssssss" like Napoleon Dynamite.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea, as long as I get my work done, I'm good to go. He knows my sense of humor and he was a Marine so he knows not to take me too seriously.
Submitted by Obi-wan (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:54:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have a boss similar to brian, i can do what i want as long as i finsih the work.
Submitted by joefu007 (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How many of us would kill to have a boss like Brian?? I know I would.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pleasures of the day...
Submitted by Adjomak (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:22:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously, how cool a boss is Brian. I mean, he actually lets you get away with this?
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:14:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
clearly these emails are amazing
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by checkyourmail (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for Les Miserables
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha fucking awesome
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm thinking when Brian and the gang find out about this, I could be in some trouble, so no, he doesn't know.
But then again, I'm not using any client names, info, account #'s, etc...
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The best yet.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I come work for your company?
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Tom Sorrell
From: wanderingsharps
Subject:freaken great!
I love these posts- whenever I see them, I want to save them for bad days
when i need a laugh. thanks for posting such good stuff.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Does Brian now he's gaining quite a following here?
Submitted by fluoxetinehydrochloride (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:10:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks! These are great.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:01:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Was a +1 until the mole.....
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:00:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think the "Master of the House" episode is season 2.
Jerry, Jason and Elaine were petrified of the actor who PLAYED Elaine's dad in that episode.
I just spent a week+ on vacation blurting random Seinfeld lines pretty much all my waking hours.
That way, I don't have to really converse with anyone.
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:00:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:50:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyone remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and George meet Elaine's father, Alton Benes, WW2 veteran and famous author? The entire show, George is walking around singing Master of the House. At the end of the show, Elaine tells Jerry what her father told her. This is their exchange:
"Dad thinks George is gay."
"Oh, because of all the singing?"
"No, he pretty much thinks everyone is gay."
Then it shows her father in the car singing Master of the House.
This is also the episode where Jerry buys a suade jacket with candy-stripe lining and it gets ruined in the snow. Excellent episode.
What can I say, I have a book of scripts...
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:49:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just... yeah.
Submitted by Kakashi-Sensei (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:43:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Pure genius and farkin hilarious. Post more goodness...
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:38:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Words fail me.
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks, now I have that song stuck in my head again.
It is catchy isn't it...
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:26:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Brian
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ...
You know who else was a problem for his boss when he first started out?
Jesus.
--------------------------------------
I hit my head on my desk when I fell out of my chair laughing. Asshole.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:23:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The over/under is currently at two months if I continue posting these.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:22:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, how many months till you get canned?
haha
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Do you hate your job or love it?"
A little bit of both.
"Didn't Enrique Iglesias just get his mole removed?"
Let's hope not...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I was mildly amused although you definitely sound a bit retarded.
Submitted by standardeviant (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:16:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am sorry. I just stumbled upon the last one of the series and went to start with the first. This is great .Grade A . Top notch.
Do you hate your job or love it though?
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:15:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't Enrique Iglesias get his mole removed?
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:12:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to say, you have some remarkably persistent dunderheads at your office. I'd think after a few "gotchas" the morons would stop emailing you, or at least stop responding when you are obviously on a roll.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Tab, how about I REALLY get it stuck in your head?
Enter Monsiuer (sp?), sit yourself down, and meet the best inkeeper in town.
As for the rest, all of them crooks. Rooking the guests and cooking the books.
We're listening to that on the way to work tomorrow. That or Red and Black... or Stars.
I am agaas (sp?)! I am agast! Is Marius in love at last? I've never seen him ooo and awe.
We talk of battles to be won, and here he comes like Don Juan. It's better than an opera!
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
genius.
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"You're just a big bowl of wrong, now get back to work..."
priceless.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you sir, you may have another.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:00:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:43:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
If I had even one email exchange like this with any of my co-workers, I would be fired post-haste. My job licks butthole.
-----------
Go ahead and fire some off to me, then. My boss keeps forgetting that I work here. I'm kind of afraid I'll come in at the biginning of a month and I will have been Milton'ed....
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the Les Miserables reference alone!
Submitted by epiphany (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:53:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Working in an office and getting emails like those you do, makes these all the more funny.
Nice Les Mis reference, next make them call you Tevye and offer them your oldest daughter.
Submitted by TabathaS. (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: lunch
"Oh, you know, the usual: Kidney of a horse. Liver of a cat. I've heard they also make their own sausages and then fill them up with "this and that."
I think they own and operate a hotel also, but it's quite pricey. They charge you if you look at yourself in the mirror too often or sleep with the window shut. They're kind of strange people... came over from France... really old... fight a lot."
_____________________________
Thanks, now I'll have that song in my head for the rest of the day.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tomfoolary abound
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:45:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:43:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I had even one email exchange like this with any of my co-workers, I would be fired post-haste. My job licks butthole.
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:41:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
" Hey "Eki Fa-Clang," do I have to sell you to another firm? "
Take that, corporate America.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: re: WHY?
You're just a big bowl of wrong, now get back to work...
=================================================
Have an imaginary +2 for your boss.
This +2 is for Le Mis
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:39:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brian must love you
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another winner
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:35:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:33:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what, nevermind.
(**Author's note: If you get that, I love you. If not, don't feel bad...**)
-------------------------------------------------
Isn't that a line from Celebrity Jeopardy?
What do I win?
--------------------------------------------------
Nothing.
I was talking about the whole thing, not that one line.
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what, nevermind.
(**Author's note: If you get that, I love you. If not, don't feel bad...**)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Isn't that a line from Celebrity Jeopardy?
What do I win?
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:32:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to go, Jihad!
Submitted by consuelo212 (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:29:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
From this moment forward, I will be called Eki Fa-Clang Shabazz Jihad.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:28:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Brian
Subject: WHY?
My God, why the Beatles? Why must you ruin everything I hold sacred? First Karate Kid, then Jesus, now The Beatles. What's next?
----------------------------------------
It's like a whole hard drive full of awesome.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:28:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:25:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't get the lunch reference thing...but it was still funny.
-------------
It's from a song in Les Miserables called "Master of the House."
Do a google search for the lyrics if you really want to know.
What can I say, I'm big into theater...
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:25:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't get the lunch reference thing...but it was still funny.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:25:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the song.
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:23:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ah, les mis.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now with more Jesus!
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:21:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha!!! i was in first!
always funny stuff. I just won a free song from a pepsi and i am going to download that beatles song about not scanning. sounds like a classic.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment