Canwhore In Return For Uber-Boobs(Don't Look, Guys) (5943 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.4 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zod (View user info) at 2005-02-14 12:38:38 EST
Wow ladies, nice work. I come on after being sick all weekend and I get a faceful of boobage. Well done. I saw your plea for crotch shots, but unfortunately I can't comply. I don't own a digital camera and i'll be damned if I ask my roommate to take a pic of my package. But since I'm still hopped up on painkillers and a little delirious, I'll give you something. It's Valentines Day after all, and I'm not a prude. I hope you ladies get a kick out of this, cause the guys are gonna rip me apart.
I'm sure that atleast the comments will be amusing. You never let me down Uber...
Ok, here it is. Enjoy ladies, vomit men. Don't say I didn't warn you.
User Reviews
Submitted by likeeatingglass (user info) at 2005-04-06 06:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm sorry, does nothing for me whatsoever
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2005-04-04 04:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man you are so hot i wanna do you in the bicep.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-03-25 21:58:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
STEVE SERIOUSLY I KNOW YOU HAVE SCHOOL AND WORK AND WHATNOT BUT YOU HAVENT POSTED IN ATY LEAST 3 WEEKS AND THIS DOESN'T MAKE VAL A HAPPY CAMPER.
MY EYES ARE TIRED, MY NIPPLES ARE CHAFING AND NOW THIS.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-02-23 05:53:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You still look like Anthony... But sexier. Waaay sexier. How did I not see this earlier?
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-02-17 17:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve: I'm pregnant with our love child. Just thought you should know. I'm thinking Bart if it's a boy, and Habeeba if it's a girl. These names are non-negotiable.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-15 07:16:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ooooh VERY hot
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-15 07:04:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:25:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
this may come as some surprise to a lot of you, Zod and I both being men and all, but I'd totally have sex with you
---------------
Motherfucker. Zoid was sweet to someone on their camwhore? The world is ending! REPENT!!!
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2005-02-15 01:21:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, no, it's not Mystia. Thats all me, I promise.
And thanks for the long-winded response Schlongy. I'm glad you keep coming back here to check me out and then respond to everyone else's reviews. Fag.
And I do like Eminem. What's your point?
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-02-15 00:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
eh.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-15 00:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The more i stare the weirder it looks.
your head just doesn't look the right size for your neck.
is this photoshopped?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-15 00:09:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH LORD!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
CRASH CART PLEASE!!!!
Submitted by BrittInToledo (user info) at 2005-02-14 23:46:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
absolutely gorgeous.
call me anytime.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 23:37:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
..."closet homo"???
Wouldn't I have given you a + if that was the case?
Maybe if your next post includes a camwhore of you shaving your back, your ass, or your nuts, I can increase it to a -1.
In the meantime, just grab your silk shirt, sans the top 3 buttons, throw your four 8-karat gold chains around your neck, ring out your hair so you can give your '94 Trans Am that much needed lube job, crank up the "Eminem" and hit the disco, Tony.
Because you sure ain't hitting the gym.
Ta da.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-14 23:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If Ziodberg finds you hot, you might as well just give up and be gay.
It's the law, ya know...
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-02-14 23:27:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This makes me miss Murphy.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He-man?! I'm Skeletor, bitch!
Atleast, I have the bone to be him.
Wink.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:02:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who knew that He-Man was an Uberer?!
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If your constantly humorous posts didn't boost you into the top ten..........this sure will.
Xoxoxox
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:05:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll take two in every color...
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:02:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think it would hurt to say this again..
I fucking love you.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit Lyric, I'm so sorry. If I post a pic of my tight, hairy ass, will it make you feel better? I'm sure the closet homo schlongy would enjoy that.
Oh and Zoidberg, we've been over this before. I know you want to have sex with me, and I've come to accept it. I'm flattered, in a strange way.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:55:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had this witty comment all typed out and prepared to send, but I suddenly couldn't hold in my female-driven admiration of the picture any longer and proceeded to drool all over my keyboard. In alarm, I quickly tried to clean up all the Lyric-saliva and managed to hit the wrong buttons on this thing, in effect starting a countdown to worldwide annihilation. The count was at T minus 4 seconds when I did the only thing I could... restarted my computer. I ended up losing my clever comment. All because of this camwhore.
True story.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Send the camwhore immediately to nolan.at.Baseballwriter.net and I will cease and desist with the fat jokes, Starr.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:34:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:57:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Before you touch anything or anyone, MANICMOTHER, I sure hope you wipe the fucking crumbs off your face and wash your all the chocolate off your hands.
$20 says you now outweigh your hubby.
--------------------------
And you know this how? Come off it Shlongy. If the weight comments didn't bother me before
why in the hell would they now? Does it bother you at all that you are completly wrong?
If you were worth the trouble I'd camwhore just to prove you wrong. Hell I'd camwhore
for just about anyone who'd ask it but not you, honey.
You sicken me. Crawl back under your rock.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:25:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this may come as some surprise to a lot of you, Zod and I both being men and all, but I'd totally have sex with you
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:09:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:11:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
You wouldn't happen to have any pictures of yourself under a waterfall dressed up in fireman's pants would you?
==================================
I wish.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
his shoulders don't look lacking to me.... delicious.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:34:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I recommend the military press - you need to buff up your shoulders. Plus, you need to go the extra mile with your tricep exersizes, they seem to be lacking. You should also do more close grip bicep sets to develop your peak a little more.
Plus 2 is for having the balls to post that picture.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:18:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
why didn't I listen?
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You wouldn't happen to have any pictures of yourself under a waterfall dressed up in fireman's pants would you?
FAG!
Gnuck, gnuck
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-02-14 14:02:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a nasty mosquito bite you have there.
Oh wait, that's your bicep.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Before you touch anything or anyone, MANICMOTHER, I sure hope you wipe the fucking crumbs off your face and wash your all the chocolate off your hands.
$20 says you now outweigh your hubby.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What if I was touching myself while I threw up?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah right.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:49:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Kakashi-Sensei (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:38:39 (#)
Ranking: 1
You look like the kinda guy that would give a reacharound...
Hahahahaha
hahaha
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:46:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What bossk said.
<sigh> I remember when I used to be young . . . it was super.
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:40:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah, youth.....
Sometimes I wish I was still single. Then my husband comes home and reminds me why I picked him.
rule #1 of the Married.
Look but don't touch.
<sigh>
---------------------------------
Sad and true.
I have to give this guy a +1 just because he's gettin' the ladies all riled up. I remember back when I had that ability. Though now I at least have a cute kid to distract women while I check out their racks.
Submitted by Kakashi-Sensei (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You look like the kinda guy that would give a reacharound...
Hahahahaha
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:35:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, youth.....
Sometimes I wish I was still single. Then my husband comes home and reminds me why I picked him.
rule #1 of the Married.
Look but don't touch.
<sigh>
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:41:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, your arm called. He wants to know when you're going to go through with the surgery to detach him from that asshole.
-------------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a cutie.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You's got a purty mouth.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet mother of christ. How YOU doin'?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:06:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:41:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to do you.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:52:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
I vomited.
But at least you warned us.
What the fuck is that shaky looking appendage coming out of your right shoulder?
----------
Shlongster is JEALOUS!
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:59:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
holy fucking gayness!
me, not you, you're hot.
WHAT!?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:56:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<ejaculates>
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I vomited.
But at least you warned us.
What the fuck is that shaky looking appendage coming out of your right shoulder?
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:47:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...sorry...was acting like a jealous girl for a sec
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whatever, man
...asshole
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i approve.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:44:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:42:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's your jacking off arm, isn't it?
-----------------
Dammit, I thought it would take more than 40 seconds for someone to guess that. My secret's out...
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:43:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*drool* *slobber*
<ejaculates>
hot.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's your jacking off arm, isn't it?
You're a cutie.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:41:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to do you.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
With arms like that, I think the ladies are going to rip you apart too.
Hey, Screech called. He wants his physique back.
No, that sucked.
Hey, your mom called. She wants her...
no..
Uh...
Hey, your arm called. He wants to know when you're going to go through with the surgery to detach him from that asshole.
Fuck it.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-14 12:39:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Babe