Man appreciation day! (429 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.2 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kraven <heckler420.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-14 15:48:21 EST
I've been with uber for a few months now, i think started reading here about 3 months ago. I've read alot of interesting things, and have been inspired to do much more interesting things as well. I was reading an article about valentines day, surprised? No, thats because every one of you is writing about this fucking "holiday." I read this post http://www.ubersite.com/m/59570, and in it he talks about how hes not getting shit for his girlfriend.
I although have come up with a different idea for combating this holiday.
Ok guys, this is where i need your help. I was thinking that if maybe we LET our women, well i dont have one but you guys might, have this day maybe we can have one of our own. Im almost willing to bet the seven dollars and fifty five cents in my pocket that a woman invinted this oh so special day. Well its our turn.
Instead of the one day a year where the guy has to fucking surprise his woman with something sweet and oh so charming in order for her not to break up with you. Thats about all there is to it. If you dont buy something for her or sweep her off her feet today, look forward to a summer alone. Can you imagine that horror, no girl to hold you back at the bars, or from keeping you from going on weekend trips with your friends, just to get shit faced at the Queens of the stone age concert or from keeping you from rolling around in mud with half-naked girls at mud-stock. Sounds horrifying huh.
Well here goes. I propose, bitches, and you listen good. Why dont you show us some fucking special attention. You think every weekend when we take you out to the movies or something and buy you dinner, that we just felt like spending that 50$ on your ass and being weedless for the rest of the week. Fuck no, we want our god damn weed. You actually think our tight-asses want to openly spew money like we've been pulling it out our ass for years? Fuck no, we got better shit to spend our money on, but we do it anyway. Why? Because we love you. Ok, there we said it.
Now, do you not love us? Do you not apperciate all that money spent year round to keep you coming back for more instead of running to pretty boy joe? We want a fuckin holiday where you spend money on buying us some flashy ass bling bling. Why dont we call this day, "Man appreciation day." I know it may sound lame, im down for suggestions on a different name, but that tells it straight forward.
The calender date for this will be shared with our lady Mary jane, April 20th. On this day we will expect any and all of the following as sincear gifts, all others will result in a money shot to your only good eye. The following gifts are accepted:
1) As much pot as you can get your hands on.
2.a)Atleast a 12 pack of our favorite beer
2.b)Or a pint of our fav liquor.
3) Power-tools.. for those who use them.
4) A nice leather Teddy, or something far more kinky and revealing for yourself is acceptable as long as we get to see it that night.
5)Pussy - pass (Obligation to free pussy when ever/where ever all day long.
6)Road - pass (Obligation for one or more free road head sessions for that day.
7)Anything sexual. (see rule #9)
8)Drugs
9)What ever the fuck we say. (We say it, you do it. That includes anal)
10) All of the above (To really show you care give us all of these not just one)
Remember ladies "Man appreciation day" is just as important to us as valentines is to you. So eat your fucking candy, smell your goddamn roses, and let us "make love," and remember you got yours, now let us have ours!
User Reviews
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-15 05:23:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
with with?
WHAT?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-15 04:32:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with with.
Sort of a steak & blow job day instead of Valentines for the guys.
Submitted by polymorph505 (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:59:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making road head an annual gift
beyond that, if your relationship is so petty/weak that it's existence is determined by the purchase of crap, you should do us all a favor and get the fuck out before one of you gets pregnant.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:56:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never knew how much angst people had about Valentine's Day until I started reading today's posts. I kind of hate it too. In fact, I'm pretty sure that all single people and most people in relationships hate it. What's the point?
I think, from now on, I'm just going to stop acknowledging V-Day's existence. The next person who wishes me a Happy Valentine's Day is getting a blank stare in return.
Submitted by Grin (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can get behind this. About time we get some comeuppance!
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:52:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why do you love me?
Why do you need me?
Always and forever
We met in a chat room
Now our love can fully bloom
Sure, the World Wide Web is great
But you, you make me "salvivate"
Yes, I love technology
But not as much as you, you see
But I still love technology
Always and forever
Our love is like a flock of doves
Flying up to heaven above
Always and forever
Always and forever
Yes our love is truly great
Always and forever