Man appreciation day... (635 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.55 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kraven <heckler420.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-14 15:55:33 EST
===Sorry if this posted twice i had a newber moment===
I've been with uber for a few months now, i think started reading here about 3 months ago. I've read alot of interesting things, and have been inspired to do much more interesting things as well. I was reading an article about valentines day, surprised? No, thats because every one of you is writing about this fucking "holiday." I read this post http://www.ubersite.com/m/59570, and in it he talks about how hes not getting shit for his girlfriend.
I although have come up with a different idea for combating this holiday.
Ok guys, this is where i need your help. I was thinking that if maybe we LET our women, well i dont have one but you guys might, have this day maybe we can have one of our own. Im almost willing to bet the seven dollars and fifty five cents in my pocket that a woman invinted this oh so special day. Well its our turn.
Instead of the one day a year where the guy has to fucking surprise his woman with something sweet and oh so charming in order for her not to break up with you. Thats about all there is to it. If you dont buy something for her or sweep her off her feet today, look forward to a summer alone. Can you imagine that horror, no girl to hold you back at the bars, or from keeping you from going on weekend trips with your friends, just to get shit faced at the Queens of the stone age concert or from keeping you from rolling around in mud with half-naked girls at mud-stock. Sounds horrifying huh.
Well here goes. I propose, bitches, and you listen good. Why dont you show us some fucking special attention. You think every weekend when we take you out to the movies or something and buy you dinner, that we just felt like spending that 50$ on your ass and being weedless for the rest of the week. Fuck no, we want our god damn weed. You actually think our tight-asses want to openly spew money like we've been pulling it out our ass for years? Fuck no, we got better shit to spend our money on, but we do it anyway. Why? Because we love you. Ok, there we said it.
Now, do you not love us? Do you not apperciate all that money spent year round to keep you coming back for more instead of running to pretty boy joe? We want a fuckin holiday where you spend money on buying us some flashy ass bling bling. Why dont we call this day, "Man appreciation day." I know it may sound lame, im down for suggestions on a different name, but that tells it straight forward.
The calender date for this will be shared with our lady Mary jane, April 20th. On this day we will expect any and all of the following as sincear gifts, all others will result in a money shot to your only good eye. The following gifts are accepted:
1) As much pot as you can get your hands on.
2.a)Atleast a 12 pack of our favorite beer
2.b)Or a pint of our fav liquor.
3) Power-tools.. for those who use them.
4) A nice leather Teddy, or something far more kinky and revealing for yourself is acceptable as long as we get to see it that night.
5)Pussy - pass (Obligation to free pussy when ever/where ever all day long.
6)Road - pass (Obligation for one or more free road head sessions for that day.
7)Anything sexual. (see rule #9)
8)Drugs
9)What ever the fuck we say. (We say it, you do it. That includes anal)
10) All of the above (To really show you care give us all of these not just one)
Remember ladies "Man appreciation day" is just as important to us as valentines is to you. So eat your fucking candy, smell your goddamn roses, and let us "make love," and remember you got yours, now let us have ours!
User Reviews
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-02-15 00:22:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, this is stupid.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-15 00:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm behind your sentiment in this post, but I found your wording and gender-related generalizations mildy offensive. Seriously, you want power tools, pot, and beer for Man-Valentine Day? I would just want copious amounts of unlawful and unusual sex.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-02-14 19:21:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:56:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I never knew how much angst people had about Valentine's Day until I started reading today's posts. I kind of hate it too. In fact, I'm pretty sure that all single people and most people in relationships hate it. What's the point?
I think, from now on, I'm just going to stop acknowledging V-Day's existence. The next person who wishes me a Happy Valentine's Day is getting a blank stare in return.
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Right on. My girlfriend has been "reminding" me about V-Day for the past month. By reminding, I mean nagging constantly, day in, day out.
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:50:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"...we just felt like spending that 50$ on your ass..."
I just had to -1 for the somewhat atrocious "50$". What in the name of sweet fuck is that supposed to mean, dumbarse?
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:29:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
I never understood how women expected Valentines day to be for just them. I've always gone out of my way to do something for my significant others.
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My Valentine got an abundance of great gifts.
So there....
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I never understood how women expected Valentines day to be for just them. I've always gone out of my way to do something for my significant others.
This year for my husband I bought him a pack of kinky coupons that entitle him to head whenever, strip teases, sex on demand in whatever positions, etc. Hell he doesn't even reallly need the coupons but I knew he'd like to have them anyway. Also I got him some handcuffs for me so he can do bad things to me whenever.
I like jewelry so he got me a ring and he likes sex so I gave him lots of sex. I thought valentines day was about couples and celebrating their relationship. Should be a give and recieve thing in my opinion.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:21:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
my last girlfriends dad died on v-day.
not only is it the shittiest holiday next to lent, but it was grief torn as well.
It makes me want to ice pick a pig in the eye.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:09:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
www.steakandbjday.com (I think it's NSFW)
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:05:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Grin (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
repost, rereview.
I can get behind this. If women expect equal treatment, how about a day for us?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Re-post, re-review...
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Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:56:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I never knew how much angst people had about Valentine's Day until I started reading today's posts. I kind of hate it too. In fact, I'm pretty sure that all single people and most people in relationships hate it. What's the point?
I think, from now on, I'm just going to stop acknowledging V-Day's existence. The next person who wishes me a Happy Valentine's Day is getting a blank stare in return.
Submitted by Rocktsrgn (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:56:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56764