If an airline ran a supermarket... (502 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.42 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Biz <bizantine.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-14 16:16:56 EST
If an airline ran a supermarket...
All products would be in single-service packets.
You'd need a permit to enter the frozen food isle
Smiling staff would diligently usher everyone around, reprimanding those who went too fast for 'disturbing the other customers.'
You would have a designated till, but wouldn't be told where it was until the last minute.
Reward cards would be mandatory.
A doorman would charge an entry fee, based on how wide he had to open the door to let you in. Rich people would use a different door.
Shelf-stackers would be referred to as 'Retail Angels' and wear colourful uniforms.
Security guards would insist on asking you pointless questions as you left:
"Did you pack the bags yourself?"
"Has anyone asked you to purchase items on their behalf?"
"Are you carrying any items you haven't paid for?"
Any other suggestions?
User Reviews
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...any food purchased there would give you flu-like symptoms for 3 days...?
Submitted by Bizantine (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
aww shucks, Sassmasterr, thanks. i agree. copulate with the world
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i have no clue. i'm in such a shitty mood. fuck the world. take a +1 for your troubles
Submitted by Bizantine (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"retail angels" ok, it's kind of an oblique reference, but there weren't many job applications to airlines until the phrase 'Air Hostess' was used, instead of whatever it was called before.
I know it's a derivative thing to write, but i thought it was funny.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-Tool
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:33:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
A till is a cash register.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i don't get the "retail angels" one, and what the hell is a "till"?
this is weak indeed
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Apparently airport humor isnt for all of us...
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:19:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:17:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Find a new hobby?
-------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:17:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Find a new hobby?