My, What Perky Pineapples You Have There (1321 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.29 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nicole <nakita963.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-14 16:18:34 EST
I found my Valentine over the Pineapple case today. I decided to do my grocery shopping for the week over my lunch break today. As I entered I spotted the pile of pineapples on sale for $2.50 each. I have a tendency to talk to myself when I am inspecting vegetables so the incident went something like this:
"Oh, pineapples! Yummy!"
I walk over take a look and pick up one promising specimen, turn it over and sniff the bottom, checking for ripeness.
"Hmm, maybe a little too ripe. I don't think it will last until Saturday."
At this point a tall, muscular, black man (who knew they had black people in Arizona?) notices me sniffing various fruits, hears my outer monologue, chuckles and comments, "You must know a lot about fruit to be able to judge them that well."
"Well, I just know a lot about food in general," I replied as I continued to peruse the pineapples. I was so absorbed in my fruit picking I only caught a portion of the next comment. I swear I'm also hard of hearing so it sounded something like, "heh, a nice girl like you must already have a boy, right?"
Did he just say what I thought he said? I'm being picked up in a grocery store on Valentine's Day. Here is my big shot. I haven't been on a real date in a long, long, extremely long time. I can go out on a date on Valentine's day for the first time in 2 years.
"Yep, I've got boyfriend. Sorry."
"No problem. Always have to check, ya know."
Ugh, I just couldn't do it. It's probably better off that way because as I was leaving the store I glanced down at my cart and saw something I wasn't expecting - my boobs. At some point my shirt had come partially unbuttoned, exposing a large portion of my breasts. I have a feeling it wasn't the pineapples in hand that he was smiling at.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-05 18:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-02-15 06:48:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:39:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you know when a pineapple is ripe?
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I'm still waiting for a punchline here.
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-02-23 20:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-02-15 06:48:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:39:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you know when a pineapple is ripe?
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I'm still waiting for a punchline here.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-02-14 20:44:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At least the store owners could see you werent trying to leave the store with a couple of hidden melons.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 18:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Where's the picture of THIS?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-14 18:03:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:34:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait... I don't get it. You haven't been on a date, but you have a boyfriend? Did you lie to the nice negro?
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<spits out wine on the monitor>
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:34:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait... I don't get it. You haven't been on a date, but you have a boyfriend? Did you lie to the nice negro?
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:36:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:35:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you a bonus point because I like pineapple and boobs.
I'll give you two...one for each. Where in AZ were you? I was down in Phoenix in October for my little bor's wedding and the thought of having to come back to MN did not fill me with joy.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:40:31 (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't really read this post... I just kind of scanned it while imagining your boobs the whole time.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:48:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See below... I agree.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't really read this post... I just kind of scanned it while imagining your boobs the whole time.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you know when a pineapple is ripe?
Submitted by Grin (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:36:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:35:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you a bonus point because I like pineapple and boobs.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:35:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you a bonus point because I like pineapple and boobs.
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you, crazy? I hear those guys have big dicks.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:31:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sometimes i flash big black guys
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Suuuuure! You were flashing the fella's in the grocery store, tell the truth.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:24:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Sure coulda used him on my porch
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:23:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The scary thing is I don't know when the shirt came unbuttoned. God, I'm hungry again and I just got back from lunch.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
you know you did that on purpose!!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:21:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Valentines Day Nicole.
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:20:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh