Viagra and Spare Change (311 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.75 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by log (View user info) at 2005-02-14 17:12:34 EST
There is a difference between what conventional wisdom calls a good morning and what happens when you do not check your favorite coffe mug. Let me stop and explain, i need about 40-50 cups of coffee to get through a day, to even check for spiders or insects wastes valuable caffeine time. What I have to stress here is that i am a slave to routine.
My cousin Dan and his fiance had arrived for the weekend. They had no place to go, i agreed to put them up for a night on the condition that I didn't have to do anything.Dan's fiance was really into marathon sessions. I later, after the incident, learned this.The problem with new people in your appartment is that they don't know your routine, or your quirks. Needless to say you dont know theirs either.
Bondage slave, horsey, dominatrix style. I am coffees prison bitch as well.
Dan is a great guy, but i hadnt seen him for years. Dan's girl was Hot. Ridiculously hot. Busting condoms hot, break the bed hot. Worryingly hot. Anyway I was looking forward to catching up with Dan but since i had been working alot the only time I saw him was when he had just gotten out of bed at six... He was naked and drinking from my lucky coffee mug. It was akward.
On this fateful day i proved that beyond doubt it is not good to be routines bitch. My average time in a shower is the same time it takes for a cup of jo to cool down, by the time i got back i returned for my first cup of the morning which i had faithfully made five minutes before hand. I picked up the now coolish cup and chugged.
Like I said i am coffees bitch so I have a fair amount of experience with the stuff. I now give you this advice, no matter how bad you need the stuff do not just drink it down, even if your hands can tell you it is at perfect tempareture. CHECK THE FUCKING MUG.
You can never tell what someones habits are,whether theyre a sex fiend, a coffee slave, or a coke fiend or worst of all; whether they throw the refuse from their pockets into a mug. My cousin had done this, into the same cup he had vecome so attached to, the cup who he was drinking from when i saw his shlong the cup he drow 12c into and two tablets of viagra left over from a marathon session that was a bridge too far for him.
Shitting out coins with a boner; always check the mug.
User Reviews
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:31:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 because I had to work to understand what you were getting at, but still +1 because when I figured it out, the punchline was still funny.
Submitted by Grin (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I use mine as a folli
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-02-14 17:15:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
um... slightly incoherent, but still funny.