Unrequited love (1184 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.04 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tigre (View user info) at 2005-02-14 21:04:04 EST
"I had a feeling you'd say that yanno.. But I'm sorry, I just don't feel the same way."
My window was propped open by by an old lead pipe, and a warm breeze blew in from the north. Summer is a time for love, and romance. It's a time to experiment and have fun. It's a time to find and explore your boundaries. I sat there inhaling the breeze that disturbed the stale air that sat around me. The smell of warm asphault and honeysuckles held cooley in the air, and the sun was slowly setting. I sat back in my lawn chair that served at a makeshift office-chair. I crossed my arms over my chest and replayed the words over and over in my head, hoping it would change, or that she'd change, or I could change myself to her liking. Who the fuck was I kidding?
unrequited:
Adjective
Not reciprocated or returned in kind: unrequited love.
Other forms
un're·quit'ed·ly adv.
I hated how I looked in the mirror. I hated how my body felt as I walked down the street and people stared. I hated running out of breath by running a block. I hated feeling like shit, and I hated even more the people that made me feel that way. I was a fat kid, there was no denying it. I had a big gut, man-titties and flabby arms. People hated to look at me, and I hated to look at me. Whenever I awoke it haunted me. Whenever I got dressed it haunted me. It was me, it was my life.
And then I met her.
Holly. My God, how stunning. The most gorgeous girl I had ever laid eyes on, silky smooth skin, jet black hair, and legs to die for. A shy korean girl, she had a limited group of close friends, and I was fortunate to be a member of that particular niche.
We had met through a friend of mine, and we began to get to know one another. We talked for hours at a time, getting to know one another, everything about the other person. She didn't look at me like so many others did. She didn't treat me like shit. She respected my feelings, respected my intelligence and respected me as whole. Who'd have thought I would have fallen in love with this girl?
Of course, being a young kid at the time I didn't know what to do. What TO DO? I waited.. She flirted with me, I flirted back. We got close, we touched. My god, I've never been touched by a girl. My mother never touches me, letalone sombody this close. God I'm shivering, what do I say.. My lord I want to cry, what do I do?
"Holly, theres somthing I wanted to say.."
"Yeah, what is it?"
"I.. uhm..well.. I love you. More than anything in this world."
"I.. I don't know what to say. But.. I'm sorry, I can't. I don't like you that way, you should know that."
And that was that. She shyed away from me more and more. Then there was abuse. No, she never raised her hand, or hit me. She never held my hand again, and she never touched me after that. She only spoke to me to vent her frustration, and in the process that frustration became me, and I became an associate and cause of that frustration.
"Look at you Aaron, why could love you anyway? Why would anyone want to love you? Who could love..that?"
Her words were like knives dipped in poison, a ticking timebomb in me. And it blew. I got tired of the abuse, and I got tired of the harsh words. I got sick of the people, and I got sick of myself. Rather than take abuse from other people, I began to give it to myself.
"Look at you. You fat fuck. You fat nasty stupid fuck. All you do is wallow in yourself. FUCK YOU. You can't do it, can you? You can't fucking run, you can't fucking breathe, and you can't even get a girl. You're fucking hideous."
And that did the trick. I'd yell at myself, and I'd figure out what it was that I wanted. I used to cry when I did it. It hurt, even for me to say it to myself, but then I began to harden to it. There were times I screamed at myself like a Drill Sergent. I couldn't even make myself flinch.
I began to breathe, slowly enough.
And I began to work, harder and harder.
And I got meaner to myself, and I got more and more callous.
And the pounds began to shed off.
I began to get attractive. People wanted me, and people loved me. Who the fuck knew?
I don't know how much I weighed as a kid, but it was alot. I work out daily now, I can run and I can jog. I box, and I'm self employed with a very labor intensive job. I have definition to my body and I have girls giving ME valentines.
When you've seen life through my eyes, you learn to weed out the fake people. You learn to weed out the people that only want you for somthing you have, not YOU. I've had a few relationships in my lifetime, all ending well. I don't flirt with those I cannot invision myself growing old with, and I see myself seeing less and less women. No people of ubersite, I'm not a complete Ghey manz. I'm in lo- .. Almost said it, didn't I? No, I won't say it, not et. Not until I can hold her, and know that she's real. I'm not going to give my whole, until I know shes ready for it, but Goddamnit people of Uber I'm ready as I'll ever be.
(real men don't spellcheck, even on romance posts)
User Reviews
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-03-01 10:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 so don't fuck up the rating too much.
The reason I won't rate it higher is simply because the title reminded me of "Endless Love" by Ron Spencer, one of the strangest and most boring books I have ever forced myself to read.
Submitted by BrittInToledo (user info) at 2005-03-01 10:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good.
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-03-01 10:21:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice. +2
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-02-21 02:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not only are you a stupid fuck for caring about looks that way when that's not where the real thing is at,
but a 300-lb 3-armed maul would have to be cast. You just can't do it any other way.
Submitted by madnessdance (user info) at 2005-02-20 02:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-18 23:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what have you got to loose just let go man and love her!
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-15 13:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
From the author of 'fuck habeeb'. It's because you are method.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-15 10:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54455#1089906
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-15 08:30:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-02-15 04:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Squijee (user info) at 2005-02-15 04:01:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this. It made sense.
Submitted by BrittInToledo (user info) at 2005-02-15 03:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're real, and I like that. Good luck!
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-15 03:48:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-02-15 01:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
well articulated
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-15 01:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-14 23:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Unrequited"
Can you requite somehing? Can you quite it?
Have a +2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:47:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We are more alike than I thought...
I'll write something like this one day.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
reminds me a lot of my own background, except I got in shape to make sure I lived to see 25.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OR IS IT GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!?
Who cares, fuck you.
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:27:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
CUZ YOURE GGGGGGGGGGGGGGREAT!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awwww, Tigre. This hit a chord with me today. Good job, sweetcheeks.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why method? Seriously. What is your deal?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
LOOK OUT FOR CHARLIES UP IN THE TREES
Submitted by Bizantine (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
-1 for posting romantic teen angst around valentine's day
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Im...Confused.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
What the fuck was this about?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:17:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:10:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...I have no idea what to say.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-02-14 21:09:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ASIANS.