What the hell is going on? (1243 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.69 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Durae (View user info) at 2005-02-15 15:44:23 EST
So recently I've been in this immature malaise that I don't think I'll ever grow out of. It boils down to not showing up to my classes and feeling completely trapped.
This is a pretty normal thing for me, it's been happening on and off since I was 16. So at first glance I'm just a lazy, whiny, unmotivated, rebellious, spoiled brat. And that's fine, I've accepted that analysis for a long time because really, arguing against it would be pretentious.
However, over the years it's come to my attention that many people feel the way I'm feeling right now. You could do the dumb thing and diagnose everyone with depression and suggest medication, but I'd like to explain a little something before you jump to that oh-so-common conclusion.
Psychology doesn't know dick about anything.
This is obvious if you do any reading about the subject, if you've taken any classes, or even if you've been to a therapist. They can't tell you your ass from your nose, Freud would say dreaming about a nose is penis envy, Anna Freud would say her daddy's right and isn't he amazing, Skinner would say Freud was trained to care about the penis by reward and punishment, you can skip through seven opposing theories in this manner and come around full circle to cognitive theory saying welllll, freud was kinda on to something in his own dumbass way, but we have no idea how it all works.
So no matter who you talk to and no matter what they tell you, you still have an infinite amount of explanations for why you are who you are. Most of which are not helpful and none of which are comprehensive.
Not only is psychology far from any hard theories or formulae capable of predicting behavior, it has also completely failed to accomplish what seems to be its ultimate mission.
Self-awareness is the key to understanding others, understanding others is the key to empathy and compassion, those extend into tolerance and maybe this is a leap of faith here, but, is it too much to ask for, world peace?
A number have things have colluded to send my idealism awry. The pharmaceutical industry appears to have hijacked therapeutic aims, along with the sudden rush to get diagnosed that is overfilling offices. The crowding that doesn't allow effective patient-therapist relationships makes medication an easy choice for partially getting rid of symptoms. Alleviation is not a solution to a problem.
Do you take headache medicine? Well that's retarded. If you have a headache you need to figure out the reason for it and fix the problem.
Oh, sometimes you can't figure out the cause? Maybe you haven't tried hard enough because you've always had aspirin sitting right there? Psych meds are the result of the severe lack of information mental health professionals are working with.
Many illnesses are based on biological malfunctions, but the pills given out do nothing to end the problem. In some situations, medication is necessary to function and my argument rests on the pills being used as a solution to the problem, when at best they are a temporary crutch on the long walk to recovery.
People say dumb things to me because I'm a psych major. So instead of fielding self-diagnoses based on some website's questionnaire (that told you OMFG you have schizophrenia!!!) I'm going to write this down once and direct everyone to this little piece of my hatred and loathing instead of listening.
Psychological disorders are based on normal, everyday behaviors. They ONLY become a disorder when you become unable to function and a threat to yourself and other people. Anything else is just the run of the mill quirkiness and eccentricity. You have voices in your head? Join the fucking club, where do you think that cliche of the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other came from?
Instead of realizing that we're all insane and that's NORMAL and ACCEPTABLE, even desirable, we've gone to the worst extreme imaginable. We have developed a palpable paranoia that something is wrong with us. That deep down inside, we're scary and wrong. Suddenly everyone and their family is on depression medication. Suddenly everyone is seeing a therapist.
People have always had these emotions. Our fundamental brain chemistry has not changed. People have always functioned with these emotions. Why is everyone so fucked up now?
You are all normal. You do not need therapy.
Every day is therapy. Therapy is modeled on real life needs that have always been filled by real life. Every friendship, every relationship, every moment of family time, every day of work, everything you read is therapeutic. Your brain digests these influences and makes you a better person. Instead of taking the time to invest in your life, you are paying with money for support and advice from a Qualified person. A Qualified person who knows dick about your life whereas your parents raised you and your friends have loved you the whole time you've been around. Ubersite is therapy. Every single person that you choose to spend time with fulfills a need that you have inside of you. If you think about it hard enough, the functions of each of your relationships will become apparent and you'll be able to fully appreciate why that person is in your life. Maybe you gravitate toward a person who reminds you of someone from the past, someone that meant a lot to you but for whatever reason went away. These needs are integral to who you are, they're not something to be ashamed of or to stow away and save up for your once a week therapy session.
If your friends suck, tell them, if your parents suck, either find some stand-ins or tell them, if your job sucks, GET A FUCKING NEW ONE, if your spouse is driving you nuts, kill them. You get the idea.
Maybe you think I'm being simplistic - I can't just get a new job or new parents or kill my spouse, you say.
So you're as trapped as I am, eh? Does that mean we should be medicated if we're unhappy because we have so little control over our own lives that we can't make ourselves happy?
I'm being serious here. Should we be medicated because we don't like our lives? Or is there something fundamentally wrong with the way we're living? To me, it's either one or the other, unless you can offer me a valid third option (assuming the continuation of my life you assholes). So which is it?
User Reviews
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:57:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*hug*
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:31:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Durae, an e-mail is on the way.
Durae and tidalfae,
My previous posting was accurate but I left something out. My external life is going well at the adult level; the job is good -- getting along with co-workers and supervisors fine -- social life pretty good. All those sorts of things are fine. There is a small - okay big - problem on the home front. It's not with my wife; she is amazing -- everything I've ever wanted or dreamed of in a woman. It's her 13 yr old daughter who I shall refer to as Amy.
Amy is my stepdaughter; my wife's daughter from a previous marriage. Amy and I don't get along so good. At best, we tolerate each-other. Although she has never come right out and said it, I have heard her thoughts: "You're not my dad so don't even think about telling me what to do." Amy is my current nemesis. I used to try to give her constructive criticism and advice on occasion. e.g. I am good at math. Amy struggles with math. I offer to help Amy with math and math homework; Amy refuses to let me help her. She has a 40 percent average in math and will likely fail the subject. I could help her at least pass. She will not let me help. What the fuck is that?!
It gets worse. Amy's latest tactic -- an extension of the above -- is to find out what my wishes are... what would please me -- and proceed to do the exact opposite. Did I just define Spite?
I'm running out of time so must wrap this up. It isn't all bad; Amy and I have shared an occasional laugh together. She treats me with respect in public. Amy, her mom and I often do things as a small family. There is hope! I am reading "parenting" books and have also found an excellent website about step-families. I'm not a quitter -- not when it comes to relationships. I feel like Amy and I are in an early stage of a chess match. This is going to be a long and bumpy road. My brothers father-in-law, a retired architecht and father of 3 including a daughter sums it up this way: "She's in that difficult age, between 2 and 22" :-)
I must go prepare for work. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. tidalfae: I think it is great that you graduated from university in psychology. You succeeded in a system where I failed ... miserably. I am in awe of anyone who can stick out a college and university education; You are the people who are going to save this world.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-02-16 20:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
peckerhead, I really want to be able to reply to you in a way that you'll be able to see, as I'm not sure if you'll be back to check. What you wrote is really insightful and well thought out.
The only thing I'm going to mention here is that I'm capable of dealing with the things in my life that I'm unhappy about. I'm not asking for sympathy nor do I really believe that I would deserve it, I was using my own current (and typical) disillusionment to transition into a larger issue that I've been annoyed about for some time now. My reason for posting this is I have hypochondriac friends who are constantly coming to me with their paranoid delusions of illness. And I'm genuinely sick of everyone thinking that they're fucked up because they get sad sometimes.
I genuinely feel that psychology is failing mainstream culture by making everyone feel abnormal, when it should be about embracing and understanding differences.
Also, I have been to therapists and I'm fine actually. I'm a balanced person who does the best with what she has. Sometimes I lose my grip, as I think many people do occasionally and I know the things I have to do to make myself happy. I'm also very lucky to have many understanding and supportive people in my life. So, underneath this little outburst or seeming cry for help, I live my life well. And I'm met by people who tell me to get on medication. It doesn't make any sense to me really.
I'm going to look for your e-mail address now and if you find mine first, feel free to e-mail me.
tidalfae - I do recognize that the things I mentioned are outdated (I was being facetious), however there are many psychologists who are still trained in psychoanalysis. What you mentioned is probably the reason I transferred away from that school - their psych department blew really bad. I'm nowhere near as educated as I should be and it is my own theory (psych isn't going to go around teaching about its own impotence). What research should I have done to make this silly little post more palatable for you?
The point is, even if you do know what you're talking about, you still are not capable of the things that biological science is capable of. You cannot perform a surgery on a patient in psych and put them in full remission. You cannot prescribe a pill that magically makes someone's life better or improves their coping skills. Psych deals with such intangible problems that in most cases the theories and information we work from do absolutely nothing. It's a lot of talk and although it's transitioned into harder scientific methods, we're still shooting in the dark. But maybe you think you can fix someone who is institutionalized. I think you have all too much faith in your profession. Sorry for being a dick.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-02-16 12:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Besides, I'm sure as hell not going into clinical psych where I have to listen to people's dumbass problems all the time or deal with the patients who have severe disorders and never get better."
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All due respect, Durae, but is your entire posting not a request for us (ubersite members) to read about a problem you are having? In any case, I did not come back to be critical. I came back because I have a couple ideas that may or may not be of value to you. University and/or college -- along with painfully ambiguous subjects like psychology -- are not for everyone. I think there is a very real possibility that you are in the wrong course and/or in the wrong University. You are clearly disillusioned with the course material, the texts, the Profs or some combination thereof. You can try the obvious: guidance counselling or whatever your institution offers along those lines; you can listen and follow the advice of ubersite members -- but I don't recommend it. The other option is to opt out. Quit. I did. I was in a similar place back in first yr. University; my grades were not good; the course material had become extremely difficult (engineering) and it was no longer a case of, "work hard, study and everything will be fine."
I now have a well paying job, a loving partner, a new house, good friends, amazing co-workers, I'm in good health and prospects for my own personal future seem quite bright. I hasten to acknowledge that there are some very real problems in North American society and world-wide such as pollution, wars, poverty, drug abuse (legal and illegal drugs). It's not some kind of Shangri-la or Utopia and I suspect it never will be... not in this lifetime. I can elaborate and tell you my own personal story and the route my life took from where you are... to the present -- but that goes beyond the scope of Ubersite. Is your e-mail address posted in the "about you" section? (I haven't looked.)
To summarize, something is really not working for you right now. You can try traditional things (Work harder; Focus; get councelling) or you can opt out and try something different -- maybe something really different e.g. read about Eastern philosophies like Zen or Yoga; meditate; Delve into the mirky New Age alternative lifestyles. I don't pretend to know the exact solution for you. I can however identify with your situation and sympathize. I've been there. I really have. In any case, all the best. Good luck -- although we both know that it's not a matter of luck. One last thought... Confusion can be helpful. Maybe you are going through exactly what you must go through at this stage of your life. Maybe things will crystallize and you will look back at "now" as a small bump in the road. I hope so. Take care.
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2005-02-16 12:25:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
On a further note, I do agree with a lot of your statements. I do agree that people are overmedicated and individuality is underappreciated.
I just dont agree with the way you choose to present it.
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2005-02-16 12:24:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not pleased that you say that you are a psych major, yet you use WAYYYY outdated theories and psychologists in your examples of why psych is bullshit.
Psych is an intersting major, especially if you study the people in it. There were people in my graduating class who didn't know what a neuron was. There were also people highly skilled in fMRI experimentation and who understood and analyzed chemical processes in the brain. All of us graduated with the same major.
This entire article seems more like a whine of your own personal 'theories' than anything based on scientific research. I'm not saying you are not allowed to whine. But if you are going to whine, don't try to bring down the whole community with you. Some of us actually do know what we are talking about.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-02-16 04:21:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't even have a job yet so no that's not really a problem for me right now. Besides, I'm sure as hell not going into clinical psych where I have to listen to people's dumbass problems all the time or deal with the patients who have severe disorders and never get better. Fuck clinical, the only time I thought clinical was a good idea was when I was in 7th grade and thought the only thing to psych was a big couch and good listening skillz.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2005-02-15 23:17:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The best medication for insanity is probably a .38 slug.
Submitted by lisist (user info) at 2005-02-15 22:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting point, but if you keep talking like this to people....won't you eventually be out of a job? being a psych major and all.....
Submitted by TheScaryGuy11 (user info) at 2005-02-15 22:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Most things are a waste of time. Funny thing about life is that in truth it does suck. Most people are self centered, mean, greedy, cruel, and terribly not funny. Yet for the people who feel trapped shouldn't. The only thing holding anyone back from being "happy" with himself or herself or anyone else is his or her selves. People want comfort. Many find it in family, church, others drugs/alcohol, its not as if any of these things are new. For having as many problems as I've had with all three they are all good things for a lot of people in moderation. Guess by my thinking it has to do with the way you're living as an individual. The driving forces keeping anyone unhappy are failure and fear. It's just easier to cop out with drugs legal/illegal and alcohol.
Submitted by Demolocke (user info) at 2005-02-15 22:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2
Er. No Comment.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2005-02-15 21:37:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These past few weeks I've been thinking about how psychology is BS and how people overuse/abuse medication. I'm pleased to see others agree.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-02-15 21:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
si, i've been saying the same thing for quite some time.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-02-15 19:19:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah...I forgot about that. We have NO weapons of mass destruction! Go away!
So anyway, I didn't say if they have no redeeming value for you. I meant you should figure out which ones do before you go on a shooting rampage.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-02-15 19:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uhhhhh, JG, I was kind of joking. You're the one that offered to get me the guns and bombs for our little... ahem anyway. And I am going to ignore difficult challenges that don't have any redeeming value to me.
peckerhead - well yeah I agree with you, that's my point. People are medicated for less than reasonable symptoms.
Jimmy - I don't appreciate your implications and evolutionary psych can go fuck itself in its stupid imaginary ass. But yeah most of that thingy seems viable except for that part where they start making up imaginary communities of people that they have no way of knowing anything about.
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-02-15 18:23:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://human-nature.com/ep/articles/ep0292104.html
You're welcome!
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-02-15 18:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf I'm not reading all that.
Sorry, that's the voices making me say that. Good shit.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-02-15 18:08:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Should we be medicated because we don't like our lives? Or is there something fundamentally wrong with the way we're living? To me, it's either one or the other, unless you can offer me a valid third option (assuming the continuation of my life you assholes). So which is it?
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No, you should not be medicated because you don't like your life. You need medication if a) you have become immobilized - by fear, anger, depression or anything else. b) the conflict is manifesting in physical symptoms such as severe dizzyness, nausea, ulcers or other symptoms as bad or worse.
Is there something fundamentally wrong with the way you are living? ans: I don't know.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-02-15 18:03:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Or is there something fundamentally wrong with the way we're living?"
I'll go with that one for the explanation, but I don't agree with your solution.
"If your friends suck, tell them, if your parents suck, either find some stand-ins or tell them, if your job sucks, GET A FUCKING NEW ONE, if your spouse is driving you nuts, kill them. You get the idea."
How's this...
If your friends, parents or spouse suck: Tell them what's wrong, then decide if it's worth working out the problems before you kill anyone or find stand-ins. Running away from everything that isn't easy is kind of the same thing as turning to medications for non-existant issues.
The job thing is right on.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-02-15 17:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:55:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep. Things are fucked.
All you can do is keep on keeping on.
BTW, the voices in my head say 'hi' to the voices in your head.
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"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." - Finding Nemo
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-15 17:31:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Medication helps nutballs like you.
And me.
Submitted by Danzxc (user info) at 2005-02-15 17:08:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Couldn't agree more.
Dumb ass doctors!
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-02-15 17:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is indeed the kicker of all ass. Well said.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-02-15 17:05:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MrWillard - what you're talking about is a lot like humanism - my favorite perspective. The thing is, I try to use a therapist's unconditional positive regard in my relationships too, as I think more people should. When you're dealing with something as extreme as pedophilia, something that almost no percentage recovers from, yeah therapy is necessary, but at the same time isn't even effective.
I'm not really sure how you can believe that pedophiles can will themselves into normal sex lives... In this post I'm not referring to individuals who are an obvious threat to other people.
the stuff I'm talking about here is admittedly superficial. Most people do not suffer from a tendency to sexually abuse children, or adults. Many people believe their mild ups and downs in mood equate to bipolarity, or that their conspiracy theories make them a candidate for schizophrenia. I'm saying that these people are wrong and they're perfectly fine by just putting a little creativity into coping.
Submitted by madnessdance (user info) at 2005-02-15 17:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck you zoloft!!! Revolution!!!!!!!
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep. Things are fucked.
All you can do is keep on keeping on.
BTW, the voices in my head say 'hi' to the voices in your head.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:47:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-02-15 15:47:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
i agree. People medicate to become "normal"- but who exactly is defining "normal"?
Oh yeah, the media.
I, on the other hand, medicate to become "not crazy".
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yeah.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:41:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with you that medication for psychological disorders is terribly overused and its lead to a laziness in my profession that I don't appreciate.
However, one of the differences between therapy and real life is that you don't have to worry about what you say or what you do. You tell your friends or your parents that you hear voices, or you like banging 8 year old boys up the ass, they're going to look at you strangely. A theripist is going to want to find out why and what is it about you that gives you that urge. But some theripists get so wrapped up in theory (which includes new age metaphysical stuff...which has as much reliability as any Freudian theory), they they don't want to help the patients...especially when they don't fit into their theory.
This is why I"m more of a cognative behavior person. You like banging 8 year old boys in the ass....stop it. You can stop it...I can't make you....stop it. Its more about one's personal power and helping a patient to realize that.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:40:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Crazy bastard.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:35:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're welcome dude. Anytime.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's official, I love Lyric.
standardeviant - follow Lyric's advice
Bob - thanks for diagnosing me, asshole. Really though, I just need to change things up a little. The walks aren't making a dent.
Jeanneee - You're a cunt, but I appreciate the sarcasm.
Method - you'll always be gheyer than me. Good job.
Filthy - and I'm sitting here chain-smoking. Does that mean I missed my own point?
Submitted by BludKake (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:28:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Call me a nihilist, but take whatever makes you feel the best, unless it's denial. I find that smoking a j after work and running around in circles until midnight usually does the trick.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:18:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent post. I was going to wax lyrical here but I'm too busy self-medicating myself with beer.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, brilliant. You just solved the problems of all of humanity. You must be so proud.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:07:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Geez...
All that over a case of the winter blahs. Get some sun. Go for a walk and get those happy endorphins pumping. That usually works for me. I refuse to take medicine for a symptom.
Submitted by standardeviant (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If You can tell me the best antidepresant, I will love you forever.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2005-02-15 16:02:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't like my life.
So... I quit my job, got a plane ticket, and moved to Victoria, B.C. I'm taking a break from school and just living here for awhile. It's easy enough to go back to school (I know what I need to do to finish) and for now, I'm doing what I actually want to do.
Oddly enough, my life is a lot better. And Victoria's fucking gorgeous.
"Life isn't about endings, it's simply a series of moments."
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-15 15:57:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha you lick carpet
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-15 15:57:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Already said what I think on AIM. Love you.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-15 15:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah.
Just Yeah.
-Dave
Submitted by polymorph505 (user info) at 2005-02-15 15:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome post
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-15 15:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<pseudo intellectual advice given>
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-15 15:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the answer is neither. It's there, so either you take it or you don't.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-02-15 15:47:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i agree. People medicate to become "normal"- but who exactly is defining "normal"?
Oh yeah, the media.
I, on the other hand, medicate to become "not crazy".
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-15 15:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
still love me ??