Etiquette of Deity (427 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.67 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by garconfou <durantjunkmail at adelphia.net> (View user info) at 2005-02-15 23:52:45 EST
Atheist or not, once you've met God, you'd have to accept anything he says.
Creation? Sure!
Resurrection? Anything you say!
At some point in the conversation you will realize that holy crap (oops - blasphemy!), you're talking to the being that set up this planet, that gave you life, that died for your sins. Talk about service sector, this guy hooked you up with a sweet deal! And for years you've been freeloading off his work, enjoying the air, having sex all over the place, and generally acting like a teenager whose parents are out of town.
Is this a tipping situation?
Shouldn't you slip him a little something to show your gratitude? You tipped that worthless waiter last week after he forgot your order, dropped your silverware, and drooled on your date's cleavage, didn't you? What about the twenty you slipped the maitre d' last Valentine's day so that you would have the perfect table, and he seated you between the bathroom and the kitchen?
God wouldn't let you down like that. God's like Trojan Man, always watching out for you. He was there for you when your team covered the spread during the playoffs, and he didn't even make you give up gambling like you promised. He was there for you when the mayor didn't see your naked ass hiding under his daughter's bed, and you didn't even give up underage sex like you promised. He's the perfect wingman.
The next time you run into God on the street, grease his palm.
User Reviews
Submitted by BigCore (user info) at 2005-02-16 07:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it. Now I know what to do the next time God comes over to play Halo 2. Thanks.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-02-16 01:56:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
no.
I will not give money to god, because
A. god needs no money, duh.
B. assholes that rape boys are the major recipients of that tithe.
fuck the tithe, it was created by greedy clergy that wanted a crushing influence over the world. And this friends, applies to ALL WESTERN faith's.
If you want to give to god...DO A GOOD DEED.
money is meaningless.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-02-16 01:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You should go more into first trying to slip past St. Peter at the Gates a Pearly. Then you should write about meeting the creature itself; how much do you tip him? do you tip him? he made the money... that kind of stuff. rip me off i don't care, i'm too lazy and untalented to write this post myself. But please take this idea and elaborate more in it.
Banga