The body shop ruined my life (581 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.2 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by standardeviant<tooeasy2079.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-16 05:42:07 EST
I just felt vindictive so I thought I would send an e-mail to the complaint department of "The Body shop". I have just sent it so have not gotten a reply. I wanted to send my e-mail link but I do not know how.
So without further ado....
Hello.
I recently purchased your product "Papaya Lip Butter".
I think it gave me herpes. No, I am not joking nor lying. I have consulted my doctor and he has affirmed I have no allergies. Not only have you ruined my mouth but you have ruined my life.
My girlfriend kicked me out because she believes I got it from cheating on her with some other woman. So now I have to stay in a hotel. Which is costing me more than my salary because I have to pay for a mortgage on a house I am no longer allowed to live in, AND I have to pay for a motel which the cheapest I can find cost MORE than the mortgage and has drug dealers standing out front. I tried calling the police about the drug dealers. When I told them where I was staying they just laughed and hung up.
I am not making as much money as usual because I am in sales and with my mouth in its current condition people are staying away from like I have the plague. Which has me on bad terms with my boss because he says I am losing him money. So now I might get fired.
On top of that my lips are still dry. I have of course ceased to use this product and would be more than happy to return the unused portion to you.
So, now that i have explained to you the hell I have been put through. It is plain to say I am unhappy with the product.
Can I have a refund?
User Reviews
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:11:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Boy you got a real purty mouth on you, here let me lube up with some of this Papaya Lip Butter."
Faggot!
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-02-16 08:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-02-16 07:40:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Send that to The Mirror. I swear they'll take it seriously, print it and get sued.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-02-16 07:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Carmex? It's all about the vaseline. And it's multi purpose.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-02-16 07:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Should have gone with Carmex...